Elsewhere
by alibi2014
Summary: As Robin's obsession with Slade grows, he sets out to finish the villain once and for all. And as it becomes clear he is heading in circles, all Starfire can do is watch.
1. The First Time

**What's that, you say? Alibi2014 is back with a brand new chapfic? Nah, it couldn't be... Well, it's true- I'm back with a vengeance!**

**So here's the deal: This fic is based on the rock opera The Forgotten Arm by Aimee Mann. The story is about John, a Vietnam vet and drug user, and Caroline, his girlfriend, and the way John's past and vices damage their relationship. For this fic, the part of John will be played by Robin, and the part of Caroline will be played by Starfire. However, this is not AU; I've adapted the story to fit the Rob/Star relationship in the context of Robin's obsession with Slade.**

**You don't need to be at all familiar with The Forgotten Arm for this fic to work, but each chapter will parallel the content and tone of a song, in the order of the album. However, THIS IS NOT A SONGFIC! I highly recommend listening to the song a chapter is based on before/while/after reading the chapter. If you need help finding the music, or just finding the lyrics, say so and I'll tell you where to find them.**

**So in conclusion: Listening to The Forgotten Arm is not imperative, but will add to the fanfic experience; this is not a songfic; this first chapter is really more of a prologue than a central part of the story; and I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm.**

**This first chapter is based on the song "Dear John."**

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**Chapter One: The First Time**

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She could still remember the first time she laid eyes on him. 

The year she turned fourteen her Gordanian masters had sold her to another Gordanian halfway across the galaxy, and underestimating her strength her transporters had taken only moderate safety precautions. As soon as she had seen a planet inhabited by life she had let out a thundering war cry, smashed her fists into the metal door until her knuckles were cracked and bleeding, and, knocking down the door and everyone who stood in her way, had stolen a space pod and launched herself at the planet she would later know to be Earth.

She had crash landed in the middle of a city, forming a pothole the size of a car, and had emerged raging and willing to fight anyone and everyone who so much as looked at her.

He had looked at her, and his expression had held none of the fear she was used to seeing on the faces of those she had seen upon smashing her way out of the pod. His eyes had startled her, the way they were a blank white outlined in black. But more than that she noticed he regarded her with no alarm, with no fear for his life and safety. Disoriented, she had taken this not to mean she had an ally, but that he did not respect her.

Furious that even on this new planet she should be undermined, she had let out a Tamaranian war cry and let loose a barrage of starbolts at the caped boy. When she lowered her arms and saw the cloud of smoke and dust where once had stood her opponent, she had felt confident he was dead, and had turned to find something else to release her rage on.

But no sooner had she turned around did she hear a _woosh_ in the air behind her and felt a blade slice against the side of her stomach. The wound hurt madly, especially when paired with the bruises and cuts she had already endured, but that was nothing compared to her anger as she turned to face her adversary once more.

He was flying through the air at her, and before she could focus her rage into starbolts he had tackled her to the ground. He shouted some words at her that she didn't understand, but his voice had had so much authority in it that she felt sure she was under attack. Lifting her leg she kneed him in the stomach and shot up into the air.

By now the crowd around them had been pushed back by a rather large man in a grey hoodie and an equally short boy with green skin. She paid them no mind as she flung starbolt after starbolt at the boy with the mask, who dodged them with agility comparable to that of the warlords of Okaara.

Again and again she shot all she could at the boy, and again and again he dodged, rolling out of the way just in time that the fiery green balls of energy obliterated the sidewalk or the street, but never him. All the while they screamed at each other, her shouting angry curses and threats at him, and she guessing he was saying the same. It was an odd feeling, fighting with so much noise going on around them, but understanding nothing but the thoughts and words in your own head and mouth. It made her feel vulnerable, as if the entire city could gang up on her without her knowledge, and she immediately sought to remedy that.

She had been taught when she was young that to learn another language a Tamaranian need only come into contact with a being that knew that other tongue. She had also been taught that, where so brief a touch as a punch would not suffice at all, and a more sustained contact like a handshake would work minimally, the fastest and surest way was to go directly to the source. In other words, she had to kiss him.

She had felt none of the embarrassment an Earthling would feel when she landed in front of him with the sole purpose of touching his lips with her own, because Tamaranians were a warrior people, and the only thing on her mind at the moment was the battle at hand.

Seeing her standing there in front of him, not lifting a finger, just standing perfectly still, the boy had lowered his weapon and taken a step forward, speaking words she, as of yet, did not understand.

In that moment that he was a foot or two away from her she closed the gap between them and, grabbing the back of his head, smashed her lips against his own. He gasped in surprise and tried to pull away from her, but she held him close for one… two… three seconds, before removing her hands from his head and using them to push him away. Still in shock, the boy did nothing but stumble backward. When next he spoke, she finally understood him.

"What?… Why did you?..."

"Move out of my way." Her voice was cold, a trait she had picked up after years of enslavement, and her harsh tone surprised him as much as her newfound ability to speak English.

"You know English?"

Before she lifted into the air again she gave him a curt answer. "I do now." And again she flew off.

"Wait, come back here!" When she had begun to fly away again the boy finally kicked back into hero mode and started to run after her. "I'm not trying to hurt you! Who are you?"

She stopped and glared down at him. "If you do not know who I am how do you know you do not wish to harm me?"

"Where are you from?"

"The planet Tamaran," she answered proudly.

"I've never heard of Tamaran. So I have no problem with anyone from Tamaran. I do have a problem, however, with you destroying my city."

She raised an eyebrow and lowered herself a few feet. "_Your_ city? You are the ruler of this city?"

"No, I'm not. I live here, and I'm trying to protect it."

"If you are trying to protect it I suggest you show me somewhere else to go."

"Why? Why do you want to destroy the city?"

"I do not care what happens to this city. But I am under attack and if I am here the city will not survive."

"You're under attack?" The boy seemed to soften. "Why?"

An earth moving _boom_ sounded out, the ground under their feet shaking. She whipped her head to the side, trying to determine from which direction the noise had sounded. "Why are you under attack?" The boy asked again.

"I will inform you later if you assist me."

Another _boom_ rang out, and now the city-dwellers were screaming, running past the floating girl and masked boy, in the opposite direction. "Alright. Follow me."

He turned from the girl and started running at an angle to where everyone else was fleeing. "There's an abandoned factory a few blocks down this way. You can hide there," he shouted back at her as he ran.

"I do not want to hide."

His cape fluttering behind him, the boy didn't stop as he questioned her. "You don't want to hide? Then where am I supposed to be taking you?"

"I am no coward," she answered confidently. "I simply require time to regain my strength. If you cannot assist me, I will find somewhere on my own."

"No, I'll help you. You can rest in there," He pointed at the building they had stopped in front of. "I'll take down as many as I can."

"_No!_" She spoke fiercely, frantically, and it made the boy raise an eyebrow at her.

"Look, I really don't know what's going on, but you don't want to hide and you don't want me to help. Well, I won't make you hide, but I _won't_ let those… whatever they are destroy my city."

"It is _my _battle." Her words struck him somehow, and it was now he saw the rage in her eyes. The rage that doesn't come very often in life, that is provoked only by a personnel vendetta. She took a deep breath. "I will allow you to assist me, and I would be most pleased if you did, but _I_ will defeat them."

For a moment they stood in silence, regarding each other, sizing each other up. She could see that even without her boots she was a good couple inches taller than him, but his determination and courage more than made up for the difference in height. His eyes, though still alarming to her, held a struggle between wanting to defend his city and knowing how it felt to have one's battles fought by another. Finally he spoke.

"I know some other people. I just met them, but they're strong and able to fight. I'm going to go find them, and I'll bring them here. We'll be stronger in numbers."

"I will be prepared to enter battle when you return."

He turned to walk away before stopping and glancing back at her. "I'm Robin."

"You may call me Starfire."

"Right. I'll be back in ten minutes, Starfire."

He was back in seven.

When the boy called Robin returned, he had three others in tow. Two were the green-skinned and sweatshirt-ed boys Starfire had seen earlier, and the third was a small, meek girl in a blue cloak and hood. Starfire studied the new arrivals warily, her hopes sinking. If she, a warrior princess from Tamaran, could not defeat the Gordanians, how could she expect any better from a group of amateur do-gooders? Robin seemed to sense her hesitance.

"This is Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Raven. They all have powers, and Beast Boy's fought before." He paused and then asked, "Are you ready?"

Starfire clenched and unclenched her fists. "You are sure you will be able to handle the Gordanians?"

"The what?" The green boy, Beast Boy, asked.

"Your planet is no doubt too small and unimportant to ever have come in contact with them before, but I assure you they are no small foe."

"Either you'll work with us, or we'll work separately. Either way I'm not sitting around and watching them destroy my city," Robin said, irritation tinting his words.

"Very well." Starfire said, exasperated. Having no knowledge of the city, she allowed Robin to lead her and the others to a good attack spot. When they arrived, huddled behind a bank on the end of 7th Street, Robin turned to the rest of them.

"Anything we should know?" He asked Starfire, who glanced up at their opponents before looking back at her allies. "Hit them hard. Do not show them any mercy."

Robin smirked. "Anything else?"

Starfire's hands began to glow. "Leave the leader for me."

Starfire let out a yell and plunged into the battle, her starbolts going into overdrive and her speed reaching its maximum. Below her, Robin and Cyborg, who had shed his sweatshirt, were pummeling Gordanians right and left. A screech from above caught her attention, and she looked up just as a green pterodactyl flew overhead. Back at the bank, the cloaked and hooded Raven stood looking nervous and unsure. Starfire turned her attention back to her battle.

The fighting went uninterrupted for several minutes, the only sounds being those of Tamaranian cursing, Gordanian threats, and shouts from down below. Starfire found that Robin had been right; they were stronger in numbers, and the four fighting teens were cutting down the Gordanians faster than she had ever thought possible.

"Hey, Starfire! Which one is the leader?" Robin called up to her in between punches and kicks.

"I am."

Starfire's head shot up and she found herself looking straight into the eyes of the being she hated most. He spoke in Gordanian, and Starfire was aware that only she, not her allies, was able to understand him. She answered him back in Tamaranian.

"I will destroy you for what you've done! I will see you pay for what you've done to me and my people!"

Her opponent laughed. "Girl, do you honestly think you can win? You've tried how many times to escape? Twelve? And we've always caught you. What's so different about this time?"

Starfire lowered down to stand in front of Robin and the others. "This time I'm not alone!" She turned her head slightly to look at Robin and said in English, "I would be most grateful for your assistance."

Out of the corner of her eye Robin smiled. "My pleasure."

The five of them, Raven having joined in at the head Gordanian's entrance, attacked all at once, as one team. Starbolts meshed with sonic booms and black energy, while birdarangs struck the monster on the head and chest, a velociraptor nipping at its legs. The Gordanian's cries where drowned out by Starfire's Tamaranian words, screamed at him with all the pent-up fury of three years of enslavement.

In the end, there was hardly a body left to identify.

TT

While the police came and taped off a good chunk of the city, Robin led the others to a small island in the Jump City bay.

"I thought we could all use a little space," He said, and when he turned and smiled at her, she was baffled again by the white pools surrounded by black where his eyes should have been.

"Your eyes… They are most strange. Can you not see?"

Robin touched the edge of the black lining and laughed. "No, it's a mask. It covers my eyes. I can see alright, and the mask doesn't get in the way."

"Why is it necessary to cloak your eyes?"

Robin cocked his head to the side. "Do you have superheroes on your planet?"

Starfire smiled. "I am afraid I do not know this word 'superhero.'"

"A superhero is someone that fights crime, but not like the police. It's someone that fights the villains no one else will fight. They wear masks to hide their identities."

"Why would you wish no one to know you fight villains? Is it not something to be proud of?"

"It… Well, I guess it is. But if a bad guy knows who you are they can hurt your family and friends. You need to protect the people you care about, not just the city."

Starfire motioned at Cyborg and Raven. "You do not wear masks. Why?"

Cyborg shrugged. "Kind of hard to conceal this," He said, pointing at his artificial limbs.

"I'm no hero," Raven answered simply. After a moment she asked, "Are you?"

"I… do not know. I would like to stay on this planet if I may, but I have given no thought to my future."

"That's alright," Robin offered. "You can find your place later."

Starfire smiled, and for the first time, really looked at him.

This would be the first time she laid eyes on him.

"I thank you."

TT

She spent the night in one of the centers set up to help people whose houses had been demolished in the fight. After changing her clothes and putting her hair up, no one had been awake enough to tell who she was. That night she dreamt of masked superheroes and men made of metal. They were the first good dreams she had had in years.

Robin had asked her to meet him on the island the next morning, and when she arrived there, shortly before he did, the sun had felt so good on her skin after years of captivity she had nearly cried.

"Hey." She turned to see Robin walking towards her, and for reasons as yet unknown she immediately perked up.

"Good morning."

"Were you able to sleep alright?"

"Indeed. And yourself?"

He smiled. "I don't sleep much."

"Is night the time at which you do your super-heroing?"

Robin laughed. "Whenever it needs to be done."

They stood in silence, the waves lapping at the rocks below their feet, and the early morning sun streaking across the sky. Before long, the city began to wake up, and clean up crews dotted the scene of last night's excitement. In high-rise office buildings lights flicked on as lawyers and businessmen started their workdays.

"Did your home planet look like this?"

Starfire smiled sadly. It had been eternities since she'd been home. "No. The buildings on Tamaran were not grey and the people did not move about in tiny pods."

"Cars. How do people on Tamaran get around?"

"They fly. Or walk."

"And they never get tired?"

Starfire turned to him. "Do you move around in a car?"

"No."

"And do you not get tired?"

Robin smiled. "I guess not."

A nervous breath passed through Starfire's lips before she spoke again. "Last night I thought about your superheroes. I was most impressed by the way you and your friends helped me. I would… like very much to be a _'superhero'_ as well."

Before Robin could say anything a voice from behind made them both jump.

"Hey, are you making a team? Can I be in it?" Beast Boy ran up the side of the island, followed slowly by Cyborg and a levitating Raven.

"I hadn't thought about making a team," Robin said, running a hand through his hair.

"Are we not all wishing to fight?" Starfire asked.

"I guess so."

"Then let's do it!" Cyborg shouted, his loud voice shaking the ground beneath them.

Robin, smirking, turned to look at Starfire. "I hope you know what you've started."

Starfire returned the smile in earnest. "I very much wish to find out."

TT

Later, that day would replay in their heads over and over, as would their fight against the Gordanians and Robin's explanation about his mask. Over the years she would find hidden meanings in what had been said, and later disregard those same clues. And later, much later, she would regret her words to him.

Because once she found out what being a superhero entailed, what it did to a person, she would wish nothing more than to make it all go away.


	2. In Love and War

**Hi, everyone, welcome to chapter the second. I have to say, I love this chapter. It took three tries to get the first section right, but I think it came out well. So it'll explain more in the chapter, but this takes place three years after chapter one. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm.**

**This chapter is based on the song "King of the Jailhouse," and let me tell you, if you're only going to listen to one song from The Forgotten Arm, make it that one.**

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**Chapter Two: In Love and War**

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_This isn't about your friends, Robin. It's about you. It's always been about you._

"Robin!"

_If you join me, if you swear to serve me, if you never speak to your friends again, I will allow them to live._

"Robin, can you hear me!"

_Too slow, Robin. You always were._

"**Robin, wake up!"**

_On the contrary, Robin. This is only the beginning._

"**Slade!"** Robin shot up in bed, his head spinning with the sudden movement, his fingers clutching the sweat-soaked sheets so hard he felt the cloth stretching. His breath moved in and out of his lungs in a quick, shallow pattern, and his eyes looked wildly around the room, searching every dark corner for the being he was so sure he had seen, both in his dreams just now and a few days prior. Or, it could be said he was searching for the being that was only in his dreams, since apparently Slade_ hadn't_ really been there the other day…

"Robin, it is alright! It was just a nightmare!'

He jumped again, this time spinning around towards the voice to see Starfire looking anxiously at him. Since his little adventure with Slade's hallucinogenic dust four days ago, the rest of the Titans had convinced Robin to sleep in the med wing so they could keep a better eye on him and, if need be, give him further medical treatment. Now he was sitting ramrod straight in one of the pristine white beds, while Starfire stood beside him, her eyes wild with worry. This had been the fourth night in a row he had woken up in a frenzied panic, and the fourth night in a row he had woken to find Starfire standing beside him.

"Robin, you are alright?"

"Starfire, he was there! He found me again! It was real this time, Slade was back and…" He trailed off, his breath coming too sporadically to keep up with his outburst. As his breath continued to come in short bursts he began shivering, feeling like millions of icy fingers were grabbing at him.

"Robin, please! You are safe and Slade is not here! We will never let him near you!" Starfire's own chest was moving up and down quickly; she hated seeing him like this, but since the dust she had woken to his screams nightly, and it was wearing at her nerves. It scared her to see Robin, who was usually so assured and collected, in this fearful manner. She tried again to placate him, putting her hand on his arm gently. "Do you hear me, Robin? You are-"

"**_No! Get away from me!"_** Starfire jumped as Robin screamed at her, pulling her hand back quickly. "I can't do this, I can't be his apprentice, I can't let him find me, I can't, I can't, I can't…" He started trailing off again, his mind taking him elsewhere. Starfire took the moment of quiet to rush to the doorway, where an intercom was attached to the wall. When they had installed this device they had added a button that connected to all the Titans' rooms simultaneously. This was the button Starfire pressed now.

"Friends, Robin has woken again and needs medical attention immediately! Please respond!" She released the button and waited anxiously for someone to answer. Behind her, Robin continued murmuring to himself, his voice sometimes rising in fear.

Finally Cyborg's tired but alert voice answered. "Be right there, Star. Keep him calm if you can. Raven, BB, I've got it covered. You guys go back to sleep."

Starfire turned and walked hurriedly back to Robin.

"I don't want to go back there. I can't go back there. I can't be his apprentice, I can't, I can't, I can't…"

"Robin, please do not say these things. You will never have to be his apprentice ever again."

"**_I said get away from me! I'm not going back!"_** He snapped at her again. His vision was swimming before him, blending colors, and melding the picture in from of him with scenes from his past. Above all else, a black and copper haze swirled tauntingly. **_"I can't go back! I won't go back! I'm nothing like you!"_**

Starfire bit her lip and took a step back as Robin continued shouting. _Oh Robin, why has this happened to you?_

"Starfire, strap him down." Cyborg was walking briskly into the room, his voice and stride confident as he fell into leader mode. He opened the third cabinet from the door and started grabbing supplies. "He's hallucinating again. I'm going to give him oxygen and a sedative. You need to strap him down or he's gonna thrash around and we won't be able to help him."

Starfire glanced down at the bed Robin was sitting on. Hanging off the side were five thick restraining straps, strong enough to hold down even Robin. They had connected the straps to the bed after the first night of his convalescence, when he had started trying to fight Starfire and Raven as they treated him. They had all hoped they wouldn't need to use the straps again, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

Seeing that there was no way that, even with her alien strength, she would be able to restrain Robin alone, Starfire called over to Cyborg, who was filling a syringe with a clear liquid. "Cyborg, I cannot do this alone! I need you to hold him down while I employ the restraints!" Cyborg set his supplies down and jogged over to stand by Starfire's side.

"On the count on three," Cyborg said, and Starfire grabbed the straps between her two hands. "One, two, _three!_" Cyborg pushed Robin's shoulders back so that he was lying flat on the bed and slammed one huge hand over Robin's chest and the other over his knees. Robin screamed.

"_**Get away from me! I'm not going back! Leave me alone!" **_

Starfire pulled the straps over Robin's flailing body and attached them to the other side of the bed, pulling them taught so that Robin was barely able to move at all. He continued shouting as Cyborg stood up and got the syringe filled with Kastitax, a sedative so strong it was available only at the mayor's discretion. After the dust incident, Cyborg and Raven had made an appointment to see the mayor and, after telling him what had happened, had requested some of the drug. They had been given four vial's worth, and though they had been warned to administer it sparingly, had also been told to come back should they need more.

Not bothering with the usual alcohol-soaked cotton swab to prevent infections, Cyborg stuck the needle quickly into Robin's upper right arm. "Sorry, Rob."

"_**No! Please, no!"**_

When the medicine had all been administered to Robin's blood stream, Cyborg grabbed one of the oxygen masks attached to the machine at the head of Robin's bed. Turning it on and testing to make sure it worked, Cyborg lifted Robin's thrashing head and slipped the mask over his mouth. Now Robin's screams were muffled, but still all too clear.

"_**No! Stop! I'm not going back! I can't, I can't, I can't!..."**_

"Come on, Star. Let's wait outside for a minute until he calms down. We can't do anymore for him right now and we don't need to see him like this."

Starfire didn't hear him. Her eyes were glued to her shaking and screaming leader, his hair soaked with sweat, his eyes wide and absolutely terrified beneath his mask. She had never seen anyone look so purely afraid before.

"Star." Cyborg grabbed her arm gently and led her into the hallway, shutting the door behind them just as Robin's voice began to give out. Terrified and exhausted sobs escaped from under the door and Starfire stopped walking, standing completely still as she heard her leader and best friend break down.

Above all else, this was not how Starfire wanted Robin to be.

"Please…" Robin's voice still held immeasurable amounts of fear, but was no longer so frantic. "Don't leave me here. Don't leave me in the dark. I don't want to be alone in the dark…"

Starfire put her face in her hands and cried.

Big metal arms surrounded her, and she let her head drop to Cyborg's shoulder. "Star, he'll be okay again. I promise."

"When will he be okay?"

"He's been through a lot with Slade. Not just the dust, but everything that's happened the last three years. This is everything coming back to him right now. It's gonna take a while, but he'll be okay again. He'll be Robin again."

Starfire let go of Cyborg and looked up at him. "He will be Robin again."

Cyborg smiled. "I promise, Star."

No more could be heard from the med room. The Kastitax and oxygen had been fast acting, and now the room sounded still again.

"I would like to see him. Do you think he will be all right if I enter?"

Cyborg looked hesitant. "I guess it'd be okay. I think he's asleep, so he won't freak out if he sees you. I'm going to get something from my room. Call if you need me, alright? And Star," he added as she pushed the door open. "Remember, he doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't know who we are. Be careful."

Starfire nodded slightly and slipped into the dark room.

Robin was lying unmoving on the bed, his thrashing fit over and his limbs and head still. His breathing, too, had calmed, and with his eyes closed he looked almost peaceful. _I wish you could be peaceful, Robin. More than anything._

She took soft steps over to Robin, careful not to wake him. Unbridled joy for flying wasn't exactly on the menu right now.

When she reached his bedside, Starfire laced her fingers through Robin's, unable to pick his hand up because of the straps. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him, Starfire smoothed his bangs back.

"You will be alright again, Robin. I promise."

"Starfire?" His eyes were barely open, and his voice was soft, especially through the oxygen mask.

"Yes, Robin. I am here. You are alright now."

He was silent, and Starfire thought he might have fallen asleep.

"I'm sorry."

His words saddened her. "Robin, do not be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I… I didn't know where I was." She waited silently, sensing he had more to say. When he did speak, it was even quieter. "Please don't leave me alone again. In the dark. I don't want to be alone in the dark."

"I promise, Robin, I will not leave you."

"I saw him again, Star. He was coming after me. I see him everywhere. He's everywhere, Starfire."

"Slade is not here, Robin. You know that."

"Maybe he isn't…" Robin's words were barely audible over the oxygen mask.

"If you are alright I will remove the oxygen mask. I feel you no longer need it." When he made no move to object, Starfire pulled the mask off and turned off the machine, hanging the mask beside it. Now that his voice was no longer impaired Robin repeated what Starfire had failed to hear.

"Maybe he isn't here, Starfire. And maybe he is."

Starfire clutched his hand tighter.

"He is not here, Robin. I promise you he is not."

"I'm not going back…" The drug was beginning to take hold over him, and his voice and eyelids were dropping.

"No, Robin. You are not."

"I love you, Star."

Starfire's eyes widened. Her heart beat a little faster, and she was unsure whether this was Robin or the sedative talking. She got her answer when he whispered something so softly it was almost silent.

She lowered her head down to hear his hushed voice, and when she did so, leaving an inch or two between them, Robin closed the distance, lifting his head up to capture her lips with his. Starfire barely had time to respond before sleep grasped Robin completely, his head falling back on the pillow.

Starfire's voice was as soft as Robin's had been. "I love you, too."

TT

Three years ago when the Titans had formed, Robin had been the only one to worry about what was to come. Because while Starfire had faced enslavement for years, while Raven had been ingratiated with the knowledge of demons and destruction, while Cyborg knew how unfair life could be, and while Beast Boy had even been on a team before, Robin was the only one who knew things could always, _always_, get worse.

The first few weeks were the easy ones. They had chosen the name Teen Titans, had held press conference after press conference, had drawn up blue prints and started building Titans Tower, and had gotten used, more or less, to being around each all day every day. Those weeks had gone by in a flurry of camera flashes, handshakes, and promises to the city. They had been the fun weeks, the weeks where everything they said was golden, and where they had been bright eyed and ready to face anything. Even their first fights had gone smoothly- at least considering they were just that, their _first_ fights.

But the day they had moved into the Tower, about five weeks after forming, Robin had laid awake at night, feeling as if the walls were pressing in on him. For days he wouldn't be able to sleep, instead staring at the ceiling and folding and refolding his capes. Finally he realized what the problem was.

A little over a month ago, Robin had been on his own for the first time in his life, free to fight and live the way he wanted, free to do things his way. He had had just himself to look out for, and if things had gone badly, he would at least die knowing no one had been taken down with him.

But now Robin had four other people to look after. Four teenagers were counting on him to make literally life-threatening decisions for them. He knew by this point that he had their complete and absolute loyalty; if he had told them to run headfirst into a flaming building, they would have. And it scared him.

It also worried him because he knew he would never let anything happen to these new friends and teammates. He could almost feel his life expectancy drop a few years for each person he would take a gun shot for. That scared him, too.

So for a while- for a long while, actually- Robin had viewed his friends more as liabilities than assets. Though in awe of their powers and abilities, and reliant on them for things he could never do on his own, such as flying or unlocking a door by crawling through a hole just the size of an ant, he found himself constantly looking out for them when his entire focus should have been on opponents. But that would change when a certain one-eyed villain hit the scene.

Obsession had never been in Robin's vocabulary before. It was true that he had been intent on perfecting his fighting skills and the skills of his teammates, and of bringing any and every villain to justice, but the deceivingly smooth word _obsession_ had never rolled around on his tongue before, its hauntingly bitter scent never invaded every crevice of his mind.

But the first time they fought Slade Robin had been far from obsessed. He had been more annoyed than anything, annoyed that he had just recently pledged to lower the crime rate and already faced a villain who seemingly wouldn't back down. Those early days would be looked back on with fondness once the real battles began.

His obsession hadn't even begun when he became Red X… At least, Robin didn't think it had. It was a bad move- Robin knew that and regretted it- but the stunt had been an honest attempt by a relatively new hero to capture a dangerous crime lord. He hadn't realized when he was forming the plan that it would have such huge negative impacts upon his team. He hadn't realized it would lose him major trust points. But then again, Robin hadn't realized he could fail.

It was after that that Robin couldn't get Slade off his mind, couldn't go a day or an hour without thinking about new ways to bring him down. It had worried his team, yes, but what secretly worried them even more was that Slade continued showing up, day after day after day, with no obvious motive. They all knew Slade wasn't the type to steal or destroy something without a reason, but after so many skirmishes with the villain, all of which had ended with a mocking taunt or clue and the masked man vanishing into the shadows, they were no more aware of his plans than they had been when he had made his first appearance.

None of them could have guessed he was going after Robin.

Robin's apprenticeship, short-lived, but not short enough, had changed him. There was a time, for months after he escaped, that he wouldn't laugh, wouldn't smile, wouldn't even speak unless it was absolutely necessary. For better or for worse it never affected the way he fought. If his new, solemn attitude had rubbed off on his battle there were three possible outcomes: One was that he would have taken his anger out on the unlucky soul who happened to cross his path. But more likely than that, because Robin seemed more somber than angry, was that his fighting abilities would have taken on new, intense focus. The third outcome was that his fighting would have slipped and put him and his teammates in danger. No one had expected that to happen, but then again no one had expected Robin to be coerced into working for Slade. The Titans had learned a very important lesson, one that Robin had learned long ago: In love and in war, anything- and everything- is possible.

So Robin began to close in on himself, a tactic he had learned from Batman and a tactic he would learn to perfect. It would be his first major downfall, but by no means his last.

And while Robin was drowning in his own dark thoughts, Starfire was realizing she cared about him. A lot. But it would be years before her thoughts turned into actions, though much sooner before she realized she loved him. She would wait, until days turned into weeks, months, years… Knowing but never admitting that she flirted constantly with him, and waiting continually for him to make the first move.

She made up excuses. Reasons why she wouldn't approach him first, though in reality she let him know every day how she felt about him, with a look, a brush of her arm against his, a few words. Her most common justification was that Robin had too much to deal with even without needing to think about her feelings. She certainly wasn't going to tell him while he was mourning over his lost days as Slade's apprentice, or when Slade reemerged months later when Terra came into the picture. And when Slade had died, his body melting under the three-digit heat that only lava could create, she had, yet again, not wanted to bother him, whether it was because Robin was busy celebrating Slade's demise or because he was regretting it wasn't he who had caused the death. Either way, she didn't say anything.

Fast forward to three years since the Titans had formed, and two years since Robin had escaped Slade's grasp.

When Robin had claimed to see Slade, Starfire had been torn between wanting and not wanting to believe him. Wanting to believe him because Robin had lied to her only once before, and not wanting to believe him because, if just for Robin's sake, she wanted Slade gone.

So she had been both relieved and heartbroken to find that Robin had not exactly been lying, but had not been correct, either. Robin really had seen Slade- there was no getting around that, but Slade hadn't really been there. And Cyborg's words had renewed her fears. Someone had triggered the dust. Someone wanted Robin to believe Slade was still alive. That just couldn't be good.

Like Robin's escape from being Slade's apprentice, the dust incident was followed immediately by overwhelming relief and happiness, but was followed in the later days by a downward spiral. A spiral that had taken Robin to a different memory every night, a different nightmare every time he closed his eyes, a different battle he fought every time he turned off the light.

But at least that spiral had led him to Starfire.

TT

After Robin had fallen back asleep, Starfire had considered asking Cyborg to stay with Robin for the night. But she had felt too guilty to go through with it. She had promised not to leave Robin alone. Alone in the dark.

But Starfire had also felt that she needed to put some distance between herself and Robin. She needed to remove herself from Robin's side to work out what had just happened. To work out if it was real, and, if it was, if it meant anything. But she couldn't- wouldn't- leave Robin alone, so she made do with lying down on a bed next to the window, first undoing the straps that held Robin down. She felt confident he wouldn't need to be restrained anymore. The sedative would put him out for hours, and hopefully let him sleep dreamlessly.

Outside, the sky was still dark, stars twinkling in the moonless night. Starfire found herself wondering whether Robin would even remember what had transpired when he woke up hours later. She had heard somewhere that people often didn't remember waking to nightmares, the memory erased by the time they woke in the morning and replaced with just the slightest sense of a lack of sleep. But she had seen the way Robin acted in the mornings after a nightmare- even more troubled and dejected than usual. She found it hard to believe these night terrors were erasing themselves from his memory.

But almost more important than that- would he remember what he had said to her? What he had done? She lightly put her fingertips against her lips, trying to remember the brief moment when they had been pressed against his. It hadn't felt like something done in the aftermath of a panic attack. And as much as Robin acted impulsively when it came to taking down Slade, it was known far and wide that Robin did not act that way when it came to matters of romance. He had known what he was doing. And he had done it for a reason.

Starfire said a silent prayer that she was right before closing her eyes and falling asleep.

TT

When she woke up the med room was empty. At first, seeing Robin's deserted bed sent a wave of panic through Starfire. She imagined Robin waking in the night to another nightmare, and without the straps pinning him down, making a mad dash for the door, hoping to free himself of wherever his mind had taken him. Starfire took a deep breath. That couldn't possibly have happened. She would have woken up if Robin had risen, and besides, it was rare that he woke up twice in the same night.

Pulling her bathrobe tighter around herself and smoothing her hair down with her hand, Starfire slipped into the hallway and made her way to the kitchen. It was the most likely place for him to be. Or at least that's what she told herself.

When she saw him at the counter, already washed and dressed and drinking a cup of coffee, Starfire let a breath go. But finding him had just been the easy part. Talking would be the hard part.

She shuffled her feet as she walked up to him so he would hear her and not get surprised. Even when he was awake Robin was quick to be startled, oftentimes pulling out of bo-staff at inhuman speed at the sound of someone approaching him from behind. It was something the Titans had had to learn to deal with in the dust's aftermath.

He looked up when he heard her walk towards him. His face was tired, his mask unable to hide the fatigue lining his eyes. But his face broke into a small smile when he saw her.

"Morning, Star."

"Good morning, Robin." She had to stop herself from asking if he'd slept well. It was a custom she'd picked up on Earth, but knew now was the not the time to ask. Instead she said, "How are you this morning?"

Robin shrugged and turned back to the counter. "I've been better."

"Do you… wish to discuss it?"

Again he shrugged, this time remaining silent. After a moment he looked up at her again. "Come on. Let's go to the roof to watch the sunrise."

Starfire smiled. "That would be most enjoyable." Robin took her hand and led the way to the stairwell. He paused after opening the door, the dark stairway an unwelcome intimidation. Starfire squeezed his hand lightly and they ascended the stairs quickly, reemerging on the roof where the sky was streaked with pink and orange and the morning air was crisp and cool. They stood looking out at the rising sun, the pale light dissipating the shadows that had covered the city overnight.

"Starfire, I meant what I said last night." Robin spoke quietly but confidently, his eyes never leaving the horizon. "I really love you. I'm sorry I had to tell you last night when everything else was going on. But I needed to tell you, Star. I needed to tell you that I love you. Because I do love you, so much." He looked at her and caught her eyes. "I need you, Star."

She didn't think as she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his. Robin put his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him, deepening the kiss before they pulled apart, Starfire putting her head on his shoulder. He held her close to him, breathing in her scent, feeling her heart beat against his chest, closing his eyes and for the first time in what seemed like ages being happy.

"I love you, Robin." Starfire whispered into his neck. "I will always love you. I will always be here for you. I will never leave you alone."

"I want to get past this, Star. I don't want to see his face anymore. I can't keep seeing his face whenever I turn off the light."

"You will get past this. I will help you get past this. You are strong, Robin. I know you can do this. Let me help you and things will be alright again. I promise."

Robin pulled back from Starfire just enough so he could see her face. Her sparkling green eyes. Her beautiful red hair. Her exhilarating smile. "I'm going to finish this, Starfire. I'm going to finish what he started." He paused. "I'm going to find him."

Starfire felt her face drop. "Robin, Slade is _gone._ Slade is _dead._"

"Maybe he is. Maybe he isn't. I heard Cyborg say someone triggered the dust from outside the Tower. That means someone's still working for him."

"Robin, please, you do not need to-"

"And if someone's working for him there's a reason. Maybe Slade's still alive. I don't know how. Or maybe someone took his place when he died."

"You are not making any sense."

"Just listen." Robin took a breath and held Starfire's gaze. "I need to find Slade. I need to. I need to finish this once and for all. I can't keep living like this. With him watching me."

Starfire shook her head. "But Robin, Slade died. We saw him fall into the lava. Terra was his apprentice, and she is no longer with us, either. Who else would be taking his place? Please, Robin, do not do this. Finish this by putting it behind you. Leave it in your past and move on."

Robin looked out past Starfire, eyeing the sorbet-streaked sky. He swallowed. "I need to do this, Starfire. I will do this." He brought his hands from her waist and reached around his neck to take her hands in his own, pulling them in front of his chest and holding them tightly. "I'm going away for a while, Star. I'm going to take some time to go and find Slade or whoever is working for him. I don't know when I'll be back. Maybe in a month or two." He squeezed her hands. "Starfire, I want you to come with me."

Starfire could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She had promised to stay with him, to never leave him alone again. But she hadn't imagined he would want to leave the Tower to track down the very evil that was haunting him day and night.

She smiled weakly and fought to keep in the tears. "Of course I will come with you."


	3. Goodbye is Such Sweet Sorrow

**As I recall this was a hard chapter to write. I'm not sure why. Anyway, it's here now, so no worries. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "Goodbye Caroline." I went to an Aimee Mann concert last weekend, and she actually played this song, along with two others from The Forgotten Arm.**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Goodbye is Such Sweet Sorrow**

* * *

When Robin had told Starfire he was going away, she hadn't known what to think. Of course she had said she would go with him, if not because she supported his trek than because she had promised to support _him_. And besides, she didn't want to leave him alone, didn't think it was a good idea for him to be on his own, especially if Slade was involved. She had said she would go with him without thinking- she had had no idea what exactly was going to take place. Now, three days later, Starfire knew of only one word to describe Robin's plan: Hectic. That or obsessed. 

"We need to talk to him about it. Find out what he plans on doing. We can't just send him out there." Cyborg had called a meeting between the Titans, minus Robin, who wouldn't have shown up anyway what with how busy he had been for the past few days. "We need to have a serious discussion about this."

"Yeah, like an intervention or something," Beast Boy added. Though his words sounded slightly foolish he was in reality completely serious. Robin's sudden change of mood and imminent departure plans had made them all worried.

"Starfire, you've talked to him, haven't you?" Raven asked.

"I have," Starfire replied. In fact, she had been the only one to talk to him since that fateful night four days ago when she and Cyborg had had to sedate and restrain him. It wasn't that Robin was against talking to the others, it was just that in his mind he was too busy to stop and talk. Even his conversations with Starfire had become brief, and almost solely revolved around his trip.

"What is he trying to accomplish by leaving Jump?"

"He believes he can find Slade. Or someone working with Slade. He wants… I believe the word is 'closure.'"

"Why doesn't he want all of us to help?" Cyborg asked.

Starfire shook her head slightly. "Truly, I do not understand why. He claims that too many people will slow him down. He wishes to 'move fast and work fast.'"

"But you _are_ going with him, right?" Cyborg had again fallen into leader mode. With Robin already on edge and on the way to taking a leave of absence, Cyborg had taken it upon himself to try to bring order to the team. If Robin had noticed that Cyborg was taking over even before he left, he didn't say anything.

"He asked me to, and I told him I would. But he has not mentioned it for days."

"But are you actually _going?_"

Starfire dropped her gaze to the floor. "I will talk to Robin again today. If he still wants me to come, then I will. If not, I will stay here. But I do not like him going alone."

"Neither do I, Star. Neither do I."

TT

Uniforms. Masks. Gloves. Boots. Capes. Civilian clothes. Bo-staff. Loaded utility belt. Various electronic equipment. Robin was packing just the essentials, but still he felt weighed down by all he needed to bring. He was packing two suitcases, one for clothes and toiletries, another for combat and technology equipment. If there was an emergency and only one case could be saved, he'd choose the second one in a heartbeat.

In the three days since his decision to leave, Robin had drawn up a hasty plan. His first priority was just to get moving; the details could come later. He would rent a room in an apartment in Coal City, about three hours away from Jump by motorcycle. He'd use the room to set up a base of operations, and from there would begin his search. It was true that many of Slade's past hideouts had been in Jump, but those places had been searched dozens of times over, and Coal was known for housing retired villains and for having an underground system of crime that stretched even beyond Jump and Steel. Robin was confident that many of the leads that had grown cold in Jump would still be hot in Coal. Besides, Robin was ready for a change of scenery. After all, most of his worst experiences had occurred in Jump. Coal was a welcome change of pace.

Robin was in the midst of loading his extra utility belts when he heard a knock at the door. Stepping carefully over piles of clothes and gadgets, Robin made his way to the door, ready to turn away anyone except-

"Hi, Star."

"Greetings, Robin. I wished to talk to you." Robin smiled and took a step back so she could walk past him into the room. When she was inside Robin closed his door.

"What did you want to talk about?" As he spoke he resumed his place on the floor next to his suitcase, filling his belt pockets with various weapons and bombs. Starfire sat down on the edge of his bed.

"I was hoping to discuss the impending trip."

Robin smiled. "This is going to be it, Star, the last stand. I'm going to find Slade or whoever is working for him and end it."

Starfire bit her lip. "How do you plan on finding him… or them?"

"Not sure yet. After I get to Coal City I'll start looking around, see if there's been any criminal activity lately with Slade's name on it."

"You mean after _we_ get to Coal City."

Robin looked up at her. "What?"

"When you told me of your plans a few days ago, you asked me to come with you. Do you not remember?"

"Oh. Yeah. I'm glad you're coming, Star. I'll be happy to have you around. Can you pass me that flashlight?"

She picked up the tiny silver flashlight and turned it over in her hands before tossing it to him. It was surprisingly light for a quality flashlight. "I…" Starfire trailed off, unsure of how to begin. "I have been talking with the others and there were some… concerns they wished to discuss with you."

"You shouldn't be concerned. I'll keep in touch with you whenever I can. Were there any extra batteries on the night table?"

Starfire picked up the package of batteries from the small cream-colored table. "_We_ will keep in touch with them."

"Right."

"It is just that…"

Robin glanced up at her. "It's just what?"

"Why must we leave Jump? Why must we search without the rest of the team?"

Robin bent back over his suitcase. "I don't want to be gone longer than I need to be. Too many people will just slow me down. Can you pass me those batteries?"

"'Too many people' have never slowed you down before. Would more of us not help with the search?"

"This is different."

"How is it different?"

"How many belts do you think I should bring? I was thinking four."

"Four is… four is fine." Starfire walked over to Robin and dropped the batteries in his hand before resuming her place on his bed.

"I need to make sure the R-cycle will be able to hold this much. I've never gone long distance on it before."

"You have gone all the way to Steel City on it before."

"But I didn't need to bring clothes and stuff. All this equipment. Besides, Coal is farther than Steel, and I won't just be staying in Coal the whole time."

Starfire raised an eyebrow. "How far are we planning on going?"

"As far as need be. Anywhere in California, anywhere in the world. I'll go anywhere."

"If your horizons are so broad, will that not delay our getting back? What about the rest of the team?"

"I'll be in contact with them periodically. Cyborg's taken over in my absence before."

Starfire sighed. She was obviously not getting through to him. "Perhaps Aqualad or Speedy would be willing to help. They live in Steel City, on the way to Coal, so they would not slow you down."

"You think they can handle Slade?"

Starfire was tempted to say, _You think _you_ can handle Slade?_ but held her tongue. "I think we will be stronger in numbers. Is that not what you told me the first time we met?"

Robin laughed, grabbing an extra pair of boots and fitting them beside his belts. "That was different."

"How was it-"

"Alright, I need to finish packing. I'm hoping to leave by tonight, so I've got to download all the information from our computers onto my communicator."

_"Tonight?"_

"The sooner the better."

"Robin, this makes no sense!"

He looked up at her from where he was sitting, his arm poised in midair over his suitcase. "What makes no sense?"

"None of this makes any sense!" Starfire stood up and began pacing around the room. "You are leaving the Tower to track down a villain who has been the cause of your misery for years, a villain who is _dead_, and you do not wish your team to help you!"

Robin stood up. "Starfire-"

"I do not understand how you can believe Slade is truly alive! That was the outcome of the dust, Robin: Now we _know_ Slade is dead. Now we _know_ he is really gone. It does not matter is someone was working for him, because he is no longer alive and no longer after you!"

Robin stood in silence, regarding his fuming Tamaranian girlfriend.

"Slade is not immortal, Robin, _no one_ is immortal, and that includes you! I do not want you spending the rest of your life alone searching for a villain and I do not want to spend the rest of my life searching for him with you!"

"I just-"

"There is always something you just have to do! And we have always just let you do it! We let you look for leads for Slade on your own and you became the Red X! We let you fight Cinderblock alone and Slade was able to capture you! We let you search for Slade on your own and you began threatening us!" Starfire stopped pacing and turned to look at Robin. "When will you just be _done?_"

They stood in silence, searching each other's eyes. Starfire crossed her arms over her stomach and held her upper arms close to her body, her face revealing how worried and tired she really was. Robin swallowed and spoke quietly.

"I didn't know you felt like that."

Starfire shrugged. "That is because you never stop and listen."

"If you want I can put off leaving until tomorrow morning."

"_We_ can put off leaving until tomorrow."

"Yeah." Robin walked slowly over to her and put his arms around her from the back, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"I worry about you," Starfire said, putting her hands on top of Robin's.

"I know."

"We all worry about you."

"I know. I'm sorry."

They stood silently, holding onto each other. Starfire let her head fall back onto Robin's chest, feeling his heart beat and his breath go in and out.

Moments later he spoke again. "You know, Slade might have had some connections in Steel City. Maybe I should stop there on the way to Coal."

Starfire's shoulders slumped.

Robin continued, "Anyway, if you're going to come with me you should probably pack."

Starfire nodded, and Robin gave her a kiss on the top of her head before letting go of her. "I probably should."

"See you later, then."

"Yes. I will see you later."

TT

Starfire walked slowly up the hallway to her room, her eyes cast down at the floor. Up until now, it hadn't hit her: She and Robin were leaving the team. Yes, it was just temporary, but still. Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy had become like sister and brothers to her, and she couldn't imagine leaving them. But if she didn't leave them she'd be leaving Robin. It was a hard choice, but in the end she knew that at least the rest of her friends would be able to take care of themselves, while Robin in all likelihood would forget to eat and sleep if not constantly reminded.

"Starfire, did you talk to Robin?" Starfire looked up to see Raven standing in front of her. Starfire nodded.

"And?"

"And he cannot be persuaded not to go."

Raven sighed. "Great," she deadpanned.

"But I was successful in delaying him."

"So when is he leaving? In a few days?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Tomorrow morning?" Raven raised an eyebrow. "How is that delaying him? Unless he was going to leave today…"

"Those were his original plans."

"Are you still going with him?"

Starfire sighed as she spoke. "I am not sure. He does not even remember asking me to accompany him. I am afraid to go with him and see him obsess over someone who is dead, but I do not want to leave him alone." Robin's words echoed in her mind.

_Please don't leave me alone again. In the dark. I don't want to be alone in the dark._

Raven frowned. "Well then I guess we should find Cyborg."

Starfire nodded her consent and the two went in search of their unofficial temporary leader. They found him in the garage, working on the T-Car. It would have been strange to some people, to see the Titans' provisional leader fixing up his car in a time of crisis, but it was known and accepted that Cyborg dealt with his frustration and anxiety by oiling, waxing, and sprucing up his car. Next to him, Beast Boy sat on a work bench with his arms crossed. They both looked up when they heard the girls enter the room.

"He's leaving tomorrow morning." Never one to sugarcoat, Raven said this as soon as they were all together.

"Dammit," Cyborg muttered under his breath.

_"Tomorrow?" _Beast Boy jumped off the work bench. "He's leaving _tomorrow?"_

"Had I not talked to him, he would have left tonight." Starfire took a seat on the bottom of the steps leading down to the garage.

"What is he _thinking?_" Cyborg shouted, throwing the wrench he was holding down on the ground, the cement emitting a sharp _clanging_ sound. The metal man ran a hand over his face. "Okay, first of all, Starfire, are you going with him or not?"

Starfire bit her lip. "I told him I would."

"Alright, I'm taking that as a maybe, which is really too vague for this kind of situation, but we've got other things to worry about. And anyway, even if you are there, Star, we need to keep an eye on him in case he needs backup. Do we know anyone in Coal City?"

"Isn't that right near Steel City?" Beast Boy asked. "Can't we contact Speedy or Aqualad or something?"

"Yeah, but they've got their own city to take care of. Are there really no heroes in Coal City?"

"I believe that one of the reasons why Robin wishes to go there," Starfire said.

"What?" Cyborg asked, perplexed. "Why?"

"So that no one will interfere with him. So that he'll be the only hero the villains in Coal have to answer to," Raven replied. "So that no one will be there to remind him that what he's doing makes no sense."

"Looks like he's got it all worked out." Beast Boy crossed his arms and frowned.

"He's Robin," Cyborg said bitterly, turning back to his car. "When does he not?"

TT

That night, as Starfire slowly began to pull clothes from her drawers and fold them into her suitcase, she found herself realizing that if what Raven had said was true, her being there was not going to make a difference. Robin was leaving the team for Coal because he wanted to be on his own. And even if Starfire was there, Robin was going to act like she wasn't. She was sure she would not be privy to his plans until they were well underway, and would not have the freedom to veto his ideas. And if four teenagers weren't able to get Robin to sleep, eat, and relax, what chance did just one stand?

But more than that, Starfire couldn't bear to see Robin work himself ragged again. She was afraid that once he started on his search he would never stop, and with his constant thinking about Slade, she was concerned that his nightmares would never go away. She didn't want to have to be the one to wake Robin up when he started screaming in his sleep, or the one to catch him when he collapsed from exhaustion. If she had to do those things at the Tower, where her friends were nearby and she was able to live in the city she had come to call home, fine. But out in the world, where she and Robin would be alone and away from all friendly faces, Starfire didn't want to be the only one to see Robin fall apart. She didn't think she could handle it.

Starfire sat down next to her suitcase and put her head on her knees.

She knew what she had to do.

TT

The previous afternoon when Starfire, Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy had had their impromptu meeting in the garage, they had agreed to set their alarm clocks for five AM in hopes of catching Robin before he left. They had been planning to talk to him once more at dinner (an "intervention," as Beast Boy called it), but Robin hadn't shown up, and the four had eaten in a gloomy silence.

But after dinner, after she had begun to pack and just before she went to bed, Starfire had set her alarm clock to four AM. She wanted to be sure beyond any doubt that she saw Robin, and also wanted to have some time with him before the others were up.

So at four in the morning, Starfire's alarm let off a shrill ring that promptly ended when she tapped the "off" button. Dressing quickly, Starfire prayed that Robin was still downstairs, drinking coffee or taking a last look at the computer files.

The common room was empty when Starfire arrived there, the still dark sky and the humming computer monitor her only companions. Her heart started beating faster in her chest. What if Robin had already left? What if he had left just before she got downstairs and she had just missed him? What if… what if he had left this early on purpose so that he wouldn't have to see anyone?

"Hey, Star." Starfire snapped her head to the door, where Robin was standing next to a suitcase. "I didn't think you'd be up this early."

"Would you have left without me?" It wasn't a fair question, but Starfire wanted to hear his answer.

"What? Oh, no, of course not. Are you coming? I've just got to load my bags and then we can go."

Starfire started walking towards him, biting her lip. "Robin, I am not coming with you."

Robin put the bag he had started picking up back on the ground. "Why?" His voice sounded hurt, but Starfire persisted.

"I cannot watch you spend your life this way, searching for something that may not be there. And we cannot leave the others alone to defend the city." She looked up. "I am sure you will do fine on your own."

Robin frowned. "Why can't you trust me on this?"

"Because I have trusted you on matters involving Slade too many times before. I trust you, Robin, but I do not want to continue fearing for you."

They stood silently, neither one knowing what to say. Finally Robin spoke again.

"Then I guess I should get going."

Starfire nodded. "I guess so."

Robin picked up his bag and turned towards the door. "You'll still…"

"I will be here when you return, Robin."

"I'll give you a call when I get to Coal." He paused and turned his head back to look at her. "Bye, Star."

"Goodbye, Robin."

Shouldering his bag, Robin pushed his way out the door and walked out into the cool, early morning. Starfire turned from the door and stood silently, the sounds of Robin loading his bags and starting the R-Cycle keeping her glued to the spot. When she could no longer hear the R-Cycle's humming she sighed and started slowly walking away. The sound of footsteps behind her made her stop.

In one movement, Robin turned her around and kissed her, briefly but passionately. He put his mouth next to her ear and whispered.

"Are you sure you can't come with me?"

Starfire nodded her head. "I will be here when you come back."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Robin pulled her closer and hugged her tight. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Robin."

And then, just as quickly as he had reappeared, Robin was gone again, the distant sound of his motorcycle engine warming up even as Starfire's body cooled from his touch.

As Starfire began walking again, she felt a pang of guilt as she remembered the promise she had made to him.

_Please don't leave me alone again. In the dark. I don't want to be alone in the dark._

_I promise, Robin, I will not leave you._

Starfire dropped into a chair and let the tears make streaks down her face.

_I promise, Robin._

_I will not leave you._


	4. Anything But Normal

**Two things before I get out of the way and let you read: **

**1) Looking back over Chapter 3, I felt like I had cut major corners by pretending that Titans East already existed, so I went back and edited it a little bit. So Titans East no longer exist, but Steel City is still close to Coal City, and the Titans still know Aqualad and Speedy. It's not really pertinent to this chapter, but it'll come into play later on.**

**2) I added a link on the bottom of my profile to a website with the lyrics for all of The Forgotten Arm on it. If any of you have read the lyrics or listened to the songs and want to let me know how well I've been doing in my attempts to match the contents and feeling of the songs to the chapters, I would be much obliged.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "Going Through the Motions."**

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**Chapter Four: ****Anything But Normal**

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Someone once said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It was at right about this moment that Starfire decided she would like to kill that person. 

Granted, it had been just a day and a half since Robin had left, but Starfire knew it took only three hours to reach Coal City, and that was if you went at the speed limit, which was not something Robin generally did. And anyway, Starfire had had a feeling he wouldn't call when he arrived in Coal. What made her angry, and what made her worried, was that Robin wasn't answering his comm. when _she_ tried to contact _him._

Starfire sat on the couch in the living room, flipping her communicator opened and closed. At first she had been trying to call Robin using the computer monitor that took up nearly a wall of the room, but after six or seven tries had reverted to using her personal communicator. The other Titans hadn't said anything, but she knew they were starting to get annoyed by her constant calling. And as Cyborg had hinted, the monitor was needed in case there was criminal activity in the city. Plus, Starfire couldn't pace in circles when she had to be standing in front of a computer.

But she had long grown tired of pacing, and now leaned back in the cushions, flipping her comm. opened and closed and opened and closed and opened and…

"Star, seriously, if you open and close that thing one more time it's gonna break in half."

Starfire placed the comm. on the table and turned to face Cyborg. "I am sorry. I did not realize what I was doing."

"It's okay, just give it a rest for a little while. Go take a walk or something, or see if Raven will go to the mall with you."

Starfire smiled. "I assure you, I am quite content with staying here. And I do not think friend Raven would be interested in attending the mall of shopping with me. It is not an excursion she enjoys in the least."

"Okay, it's just… Don't get stressed out about this. He'll call. You know Robin; he probably just started the solo crime-fighting thing a little early. No big deal." Cyborg tried hard to sound neutral. _It's no big deal _yet.

Starfire was about to reach for her communicator again but forced her hand to drop by her side. "Actually, perhaps it would do me good to get some air. I will be on the roof if I am needed." She turned to go and, at the last moment, snatched her communicator from the table. Cyborg pretended not to notice.

The roof had always been a place where Starfire felt comfortable and relaxed, and she usually frequented the spot several times a week. But in the past week, since the dust incident that seemed so long ago and had sparked all of this chaos, she had gone to the roof at least once every day. Only once had Robin gone with her, the memories of their kiss and his decision to leave intermingling and leaving her with a bittersweet feeling.

Sitting down cross-legged, Starfire watched the early afternoon sun shine over the bay. She was reminded of the first time she had seen this view, so many years ago the day after she had first met the Titans. The day after she… Starfire blushed now, remembering how she had kissed Robin, throwing her inhibition to the wind in order to learn the English language. It was funny; three years ago she couldn't have cared less _who_ she kissed if it meant winning her freedom. But now… She wondered if it was the years she had spent on Earth or the mellowness she had gained with being free that had changed the way she felt about something as formerly meaningless as a kiss. Maybe it was a little of both. But Starfire hardly counted that as a kiss, much less her first kiss with Robin. And now that she thought about it, Robin had never mentioned that incident again...

Starfire shrugged and opened her communicator, careful not to flip it open and cause it damage. She pressed the button for Robin's communicator and held the small device up to eye level, not really believing he would answer it, but here's to hoping, right?

"Robin, please respond. It is Starfire. If you are able, I wish to speak to you."

Silence.

Starfire sighed and was about to close her comm. when she heard a voice.

"Hey, Star."

"Robin!" Starfire instantly perked up, grasping the comm. tighter in her hand and looking intently for him to appear on the screen. "Robin, I am glad to hear from you!"

"Sorry I didn't call before. I was busy and there were some things I wanted to take care of."

"It is alright." For the moment Starfire forgot how worried and annoyed she had been. "You are in Coal now?"

"I got here yesterday morning."

"And have you found lodgings?"

"Yeah, there's an apartment that was renting out rooms. I just dropped my stuff there and then went to check out some hangouts known for criminal activity."

"Was your investigation successful?"

"I got some names from them. It was mostly retired criminals, the kind that are actually retired. But I got some information."

"Wonderful! Your search is progressing quickly! I am sure you will be done in no time!"

"I'm going to look into an old lab tomorrow that's been in the paper a lot recently," Robin continued, ignoring Starfire's words. "I probably won't be in touch a lot. I'll give you a call if there's time."

"Oh… Certainly," Starfire said, a little hurt that he sounded so cold and unapologetic. "Your mission must take precedence." It was then that Starfire noticed his picture still hadn't appeared on the comm. "Robin, is there something wrong with your communicator? I do not see you on the screen. Perhaps you are running low on the batteries," She said, knowing full well the charge would have been checked twice if not more times before he left.

"Oh. No, there's nothing wrong with it. I just disabled the visual component to make room for more files to be stored."

"You disabled it? Then we will not be able to see-"

"I need to go, Starfire. I'll talk to you later. Tell the guys I say hi."

And with that the connection was closed.

Starfire bit her lip, slightly crestfallen. She tried to make excuses for Robin, for why he was so short with her and seemed to have pushed her and their relationship to the back of his mind. He was busy, she told herself. He was still reeling from the dust, still traumatized from the wounds that episode had reopened. He was just preoccupied in his search. Starfire sighed.

Not that those things weren't true, she thought to herself. It was just that they didn't make anything better.

Starfire sat for a moment more on the edge of the roof, letting the wind play with her hair. When she stood up to go back inside, she had taken not three steps when she heard the alarm coming from in the Tower. She clipped her comm. to her belt and rushed down to the living room, where Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven were already gathering around the computer monitor.

"It's Overload. He's attacking a street in the business district." Cyborg typed some commands into the computer and the image of the area under Overload's assault zoomed out to show the surrounding half-square mile.

"He's getting smarter," Raven said. "The plumbing in that area is being remodeled. All the underground water lines are dry right now."

Cyborg nodded. "Then we'll have to take him out the old-fashioned way. Titans, go!" At his words Raven and Beast Boy rushed to the door, lifting to the skies once outside. Cyborg made his way to the garage, pulling the T-Car out of its spot and speeding down the street.

Starfire stood for a moment after the others had left, frowning at the screen. Then she shrugged and rose into the air, following the screeching sound of the T-Car's wheels.

She'd just have to get used to hearing someone other than Robin- even if it was Cyborg- saying, "Titans, go!"

The scene downtown was much the same as any other of the problems Overload caused. Cars were abandoned or overturned, people were screaming, and as usual, not having the good sense to actually get out of the vicinity, and in the middle of it all Overload himself smashed down the street, sucking the electricity from anything he could find.

Starfire and Raven immediately set to hitting him with a combination of starbolts and black energy, Raven careful not to throw anything at him that could be used to his advantage. Beast Boy became a pterodactyl and started dropping pieces of rubbish on Overload from above. At Cyborg's approach Overload turned towards the car, a devilish grin spreading across his artificial face.

"Oh, no you don't!" Cyborg exclaimed, turning a small grey switch on the car's dashboard before leaping out of the car and hitting the villain with a blast from his sonic cannon. At the moment Cyborg had flipped that switch, the car started glowing an even brighter blue. Cyborg and Starfire had come up with the device after Overload had commandeered the T-Car shortly after the Titans had formed. Starfire had explained that while she got her powers from sunlight, too much sun could create an excess of power, and could actually diminish her own powers. The mechanism on the car worked much the same way, essentially creating a concentration of all the electricity the car could muster. Overload had met with this system before, and knew that if he tried to drain the car's power, his own electricity level would be depleted.

Cyborg's cannon hit Overload with enough force to knock him back a few feet, emitting a growl from the being and a swipe of his arm that knocked a hole in a nearby building. Starfire saw the plaster from the broken walls starting to rain down, and rushed over to catch the larger pieces from falling on any civilians.

When the building looked like it was no longer on the verge of partial collapse, Starfire went back to blasting Overload, this time from behind. As she watched Cyborg and Raven continue to throw everything they had at him, and as Beast Boy's elephant form ran up the street from where it had been collecting water to drown Overload out, Starfire sighed. She hated fighting this kind of battle, the battles where brute strength and nothing else mattered. It wasn't even a matter of skill in this type of situation.

When Overload began shrinking and screaming under the onslaught of water, Starfire lowered down to the ground and walked over to her friends. Once Overload was once again merely an electronic card, Beast Boy returned to his human state.

"Dude, that took like twenty minutes! That was like the fastest fight _ever!_" Beast Boy pumped his fist in the air. "We are _so_ getting pizza!"

"Alright, but unless you plan on eating some _real_ food instead of that tofu junk don't even think about riding in my car."

"Cyborg, did you not just _see_ me turn into an animal? It would be like I was eating myself!"

"I'm pretty sure they don't serve elephant meat, Beast Boy," Raven said as they all turned towards the T-Car.

"That's the point! You don't know _what_ you're eating! It could be, like, horse or something!"

Cyborg rolled his eye. "Whatever."

Starfire got in the backseat next to Beast Boy and put her elbow on the door, propping her chin on her hand and watching the scenery zoom by. She hadn't wanted to spend the day pacing and worrying; she knew that sulking wouldn't change anything, and that it would be good to get her mind off Robin. But now that she was out of the Tower, fighting minor villains and going out for pizza, something just didn't feel right.

TT

Hundreds of miles away, two cities over, Robin was reacquainting himself with fighting on his own. It wasn't a huge adjustment, since he had always spent a substantial amount of time doing training exercises on his own long after his teammates had retired for the night. And it wasn't like he was fighting anyone special- just a few thugs hired by the ex-criminal Robin had wanted to question. Apparently the former crook had decided that even though he was no longer in the business he would hold onto a few of his old habits, as the moment Robin had mentioned his reason for being there the man had snapped his fingers and three thugs had stepped out from the shadows, allowing their boss to slip into a back room where, Robin hoped, he would still be once these cronies were dealt with.

Robin's fighting style was no different now than it had been during many of the smaller battles had had experienced with the Titans. He fought almost on auto-pilot, these minor thugs affording no more of his attention than a small bug. Instead, his mind was occupied by what would transpire after these guys were down and he was able to corner the ex-criminal that had gained enough of Robin's attention that he was willing to spend precious time and energy fighting these amateurs to get to him.

The former criminal was Robert Scatto, and had run the thug-for-hire business for the past twenty-three years, before retiring at the age of fifty about a year ago. Robin had known of Scatto for a while, had even tried a few times to organize a take-down. But ultimately, Jump City- and Slade- had proven to be more important to Robin. And besides, Coal City, while not technically part of Steel City, was generally left under the latter's jurisdiction. But now that Robin had left Jump City specifically to find evidence of Slade's whereabouts, and had chosen Coal City precisely because it housed an admirable number of villains, Robin had thought Scatto a good place to start.

With a few more kicks and a well placed punch to the jaw, three bloodied henchmen were down for the count and Robin rolled his shoulders, stepping over them to the door in the back of the dimly lit room into which Scatto had disappeared. The door was, not surprisingly, locked, and Robin used a small pin from his belt to unlock it. In most circumstances a bomb would have blown away not just the lock but the door itself quite nicely, but being away from the Tower and his surplus of tools, Robin was trying to use more conventional methods. If there was one thing he didn't want to do, it was to have to call his team for help, even if it was only to request that they send him more bombs.

Opening the door and stepping inside, Robin saw he had entered a long hallway off of which a few more doors sprouted. Seeing a light on underneath a door farther down on the left, Robin strode down the length of the hallway and kicked the door, this one unlocked, in.

Robin found himself in a nicely furnished office, much different from the cold, empty rest of the building. At a desk in the corner, illuminated by a softly glowing lamp, Scatto sat, apparently doing paperwork. Now he still held his pen, though it was no longer moving, his face looking up at Robin's unexpected and rather noisy entrance.

Before Robin had a chance to say anything Scatto dropped his pen and smiled. "I see you got past my bodyguards. I guess I should have signed them up for more martial arts classes."

Robin pulled out his bo-staff and took a step forward. "We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. And trust me," Robin stepped up right in front of Scatto's desk. "Both ways will end up with the same results."

The man named Scatto held his hands palm up. "What can I do for you? You know I'm retired, but if you wanted help, maybe wanting to get rid of someone without getting your nice green gloves all dirty-"

"I don't need your thugs, Scatto. I'm pretty sure I've already shown you they're useless anyway." Robin's tone was cold and he held Scatto's gaze steady, a tactic he had picked up that often sent an intimidating chill through his opponents. "I want answers, Scatto. I want to know what you know about a man named Slade."

TT

The pizza parlor was busy today, though not overcrowded, the late lunch crowd waiting at a short line for tables and finishing off pizzas and salads at small tables. At the bar, a few businessmen, likely ones that had escaped Overload's wrath, stood drinking beers and talking loudly. A few paparazzi huddled at the door, but most had instead decided to hang around near the parking lot, where it was easier to hear the Titans speak and where it was less likely to have a picture ruined by some oblivious waiter.

The Titans were given a table as soon as they walked in, and followed the waiter to a small round table on the patio. Starfire sat down in between Raven and Beast Boy, Cyborg taking the seat across from her. After they had ordered drinks and placed their order for a large cheese pizza with mushrooms and a large pizza with sausage and pepperoni, the Titans sat back, enjoying the sunlight and the momentary calm.

"Hey, did you ever wonder," said Beast Boy, putting his elbows on the table and pointing at no one in particular, "Why they call pizza with vegetables on it 'vegetarian pizza?' I mean, plain cheese pizza is vegetarian, too."

The other three looked at him in silence for a moment, many eyebrows raised.

"Actually, that's sort of a good point." Raven said, much to everyone's surprise.

"Well, I guess it's because… I don't know." Cyborg cocked his head to the side. "Huh. Never thought of that before."

Beast Boy smiled triumphantly. As the others continued on this topic, laying out the various facts and opinions, Starfire stared absentmindedly down the street, watching the cars and people pass by, and noticing the absence of the fifth member of her family.

TT

"I want to know everything you know about Slade. And don't tell me you've never heard of him- _everyone_ knows who Slade is." Robin held his bo-staff in one hand, his grip not loose- _never_ loose- but by and large unconcerned.

Scatto smiled again. "Everyone knows who Slade is? Boy, have you looked in a mirror? You're not exactly inconspicuous yourself." He leaned back in his chair and picked up a packet of cigarettes. "Mind if I smoke?" Scatto lit the cigarette and drew in a lungful of smoke before speaking again. Robin absentmindedly held his breath against the billows of smoke. "What do you want to know?"

"When was the last time you heard from him? When was the last time you saw him?"

"Heard from him? _Saw_ him? I'm not that high up on the criminal chain, kid. I ran a small racket in Coal City. Slade was a little out of my league. But the last time I heard of him…" Scatto pursed his lips in thought. "Probably about a year ago."

Robin didn't know whether this was good news or bad news. "And what did you hear?"

Scatto shook his head, a chuckle escaping his lips even as they clenched his cigarette. "Same thing the rest of the world heard."

"Which was?"

"Which was that he had used some blonde broad to take over and that she killed him instead at the last minute." He raised his eyebrows. "It was quite a bit of news for the villain world."

"I'm sure," Robin replied sarcastically. He had seen the gang wars that had taken place since Slade's supposed death at the betrayal of Terra. Then a sudden thought occurred to him. "Coal isn't that far from Jump. How come this city was never destroyed?"

"As I'm sure you know, Coal isn't exactly lacking in the criminal department. Deals were made to keep a few of us protected." The smile vanished from Scatto's lips. "Of course, that deal only extended a few hours, and we were pretty bad off ourselves by the time that bastard went under." He shrugged. "We had a lot of respect for the guy, but don't think that just because we were on the same side he treated us with any deference."

Robin's nostrils flared. "Don't think I know nothing about how he worked just because I'm one of the good guys." He tightened his grip on his bo-staff, suddenly feeling unguarded. "And you've heard nothing since then?"

"Well now that you mention it," Scatto said, in a way that definitely implied he'd been thinking of this long before Robin asked, "I've heard his name a few times around town lately."

Robin's heart started beating faster. "Where? What have you heard?"

"Oh, it's all real hush-hush, just a name here or there. A lot of the guys are saying someone's taking over for him, but I doubt that. A man like Slade, he didn't need more than one living person knowing all his secrets."

Robin swallowed hard. _Is this good or bad, _he asked himself. It could be taken either way. On one hand, it proved that he was not merely obsessed, and could proudly tell Starfire and the others so. On the other hand, though, it meant that once again Slade had come back to haunt him. "Where have you heard these things?"

Scatto laughed. "You know, I may not be in the business anymore, I may even be willing to give you a few hints, but I'm no big talker. You want names?" He stubbed out his cigarette. "You got money?"

TT

The Titans had long since finished and paid for their lunch, and were now sitting again in the T-Car, heading for the Tower. Starfire had considered flying or even walking home, but had at the last minute decided to ride with her friends. If any of them noticed how quiet she was being, none of them said anything.

Upon reaching the Tower, the Titans got out of the car and made their way to the living room.

"Hey, Cyborg, I challenge you to an ultimate showdown of Mega-Monkeys Four!" Beast Boy jumped onto the couch, not even waiting for an answer before turning on the game and grabbing his controller.

Cyborg picked up his own controller and sat down next to Beast Boy. "Ready to get trampled, grass stain?"

"Ha, ha, you _wish!_"

Starfire and Raven continued walking towards the elevators. At the fifth floor they both got off.

"I'll be in my room," Raven said, and turned right to walk down the hallway. Starfire turned the opposite direction and headed towards her own room, where she absentmindedly read a book she had recently ordered from Tamaran. The book did little to hold her attention, and she often realized after getting to the end of a page that she had no recollection of what she had just read.

At these points she just shrugged and read on.

TT

Letting out a yell, Robin lashed a foot out at the desk, sending its contents spilling to the floor and causing it to fall backwards, pinning Scatto's legs down. Robin leaned over the toppled desk, grabbing the front of Scatto's shirt. "I did not come all the way here to give you a bribe!" He shouted, his eyes boring holes in Scatto's face. "I did not endure Slade's crap and leave my team and come here on my own to _give you a bribe!_" Robin lifted Scatto's shirt another inch, pulling him closer upwards. "Now I'm going to ask you again. Where have you heard these things?"

Scatto stared at Robin, his face impassive, doing an impressive job of masking the slight surprise he felt. Finally he licked his lips and spoke. "A man on 37th Street. Name's Packard. He gets all the information, spreads it around. I don't know how much of it's true. He's a shady guy." Scatto frowned. "That enough for you, kid?"

Robin narrowed his eyes before dropping the man's shirt and turning back towards the door. "See you around, Scatto."

Scatto clenched his fists before mumbling an obscenity and pulling himself out from under the desk.

TT

For the next couple hours Starfire lay on her bed, reading her Tamaranian novel and, when that got tedious, rearranging the clothes in her dresser. Later, after she had folded and refolded her clothes and the Titans had had dinner, Starfire declined the invitation to watch a movie with the others, instead grabbing her jacket and heading up to the roof.

The air had become cooler, and before too long the sky would be completely dark. Starfire felt the weight of her communicator from where it was clipped to her clothing, suppressing the urge to call Robin and wish him goodnight.

It was now, once she was standing on top of the Tower, gazing for what seemed to be the hundredth time out at the bay, that she realized why she felt so strange.

Fighting Overload, getting pizza, watching movies… Everyone was going about their day as if nothing was amiss. Everyone was acting normal.

Starfire pulled out her comm. and started opening and closing it.

She was feeling anything but normal.

TT

Hours later, after the sun had set, Robin jumped from rooftop to rooftop, sometimes employing the use of his grappling hook. He had done some background checks on Packard, the man Scatto had directed him to. By the time Robin had finished his research the sky was black and Robin decided that rather than drop by 37th Street tonight he would instead go on a night parole, much like he back in Jump and, years before, in Gotham.

Before he had set out, Robin had placed his communicator on one of his suitcases and went to splash some water on his face. And when he had jumped out the window and back into the night, his comm. had stayed behind.

Spotting a pair of thieves sprinting from what had apparently started as a silent and flawless jewelry robbery, Robin started after them. And as he dropped down before them, fought and detained the pair until the police could arrive, and then continued on his way, Robin reflected that what he was doing felt right. It felt normal.


	5. Uncentered

**Before I forget, I'm going to be out of town next week, and I have a feeling I won't have internet, so there probably won't be an update next Friday. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "I Can't Get My Head Around It."**

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**Chapter Five: Un-centered**

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In the three and a half weeks that followed, Starfire tried twice a day to reach Robin. 

In total, she spoke to him five times.

And each time the conversation went the same way. Robin would answer his communicator, and Starfire would again be reminded that he had disabled the visual component. She would listen to him talk eagerly and hurriedly about his progress, about the people he had spoken to or the crooks he had sent to jail. She would pretend to be interested, but her interest in his case would be dwarfed by her anxiety when he would mention that he had, again, worked all night and through meals. And her anxiety would then be drowned out with guilt when he would mention, as he inevitably always did, that he was doing this for the_ two of them_, so they could be happy, and that when he had finished with Slade things would be better for them. But that was as far as he ever got to talking about when he would come home.

The way Robin talked about his case, about how he was doing it for both of them, and how when he was done things would be different- better- but never actually said when he _would_ be done, had started to sound to Starfire like more than obsession- it had started to sound like an addiction.

So when she opened the Superhero Weekly- a newspaper published specifically to update superheroes throughout the country on the latest happenings and major villains; a helpful piece of media, even if the title was a bit of an embarrassment- to see a certain article, Starfire set aside her cup of coffee to read the little snippet of information.

**Metropolis to Unveil Recuperation Facility for Superheroes**

_Metropolis is proud to be the first city to open its branch of the long-awaited City Protector Recuperation Center. Under the jurisdiction of Dr. Jonathan Swift, fifteen doctors and twelve psychologists will operate the CPRC upon its opening on Monday. Dr. Swift, long-time researcher of compulsion and post-traumatic stress disorder in both normal circumstances and those relating to work as city protectors, is excited to begin work. The CPRC will be open to all personnel with backgrounds as either city protectors or, in certain cases, criminals, and will offer medical and psychological convalescence programs._

"_I've been preparing for this day a long time," says Dr. Swift, "For almost seven years. I am confident in the abilities of my staff to help those who have so selflessly helped us." Asked about how the CPRC would be different from a normal recuperation facility, Dr. Swift replied, "City protectors, or superheroes as they are more widely known, deal with many of the same problems we civilians do, but on a much grander scale. The City Protector Recuperation Center will take into account the stress and danger a job like city protector brings, and will work accordingly."_

_Dr. Swift has mentioned that city protectors will have the option of revealing their identities to the CPRC, but will not be forced to do so. City protectors and criminals will be treated in separate parts of the facility for minimal contact._

Starfire read the article twice before setting it down. Then she read it again. This was it, she thought. This was the answer to their problems. Somewhere Robin could go to get help, to let go of his obsession with Slade, to move on with his life. Of course, there was the problem of how she would get Robin to agree to this, and also the problem of not knowing anything about this place, this City Protector Recuperation Center, other than what the article said. As if in answer to her troubles, Starfire noticed the telephone number the article gave for the center. Picking up the newspaper and taking the cordless phone out of its cradle, Starfire walked out of the kitchen and started towards her bedroom.

Once there Starfire dialed the phone, but before pressing the last number she paused. What was she going to say? Why exactly was she calling? Starfire took a breath and finished dialing. After ringing three times Starfire heard a woman's voice on the other end.

"City Protector Recuperation Center, Jean Holmes speaking, how may I help you?"

"This is…" Should she tell them who she was? "I saw your article in the Superhero Weekly, and was wishing to inquire further into your facilities."

"Did you have some questions? Are you a city protector, or are you in contact with one?"

"I am a… _'city protector_,_'_ but am inquiring for someone else."

Sensing Starfire's hesitancy to reveal anything further, Holmes said, "In case you were worried, this is a closely monitored phone line, and all calls are strictly confidential."

Starfire smiled weakly. "I am part of a team in Jump City. I am wishing to learn more of your facility so that I may suggest your services to a… friend of mine."

"Well we'll be opening on Monday. What we'll do if your friend wants to see us is to ask them to fill out a questionnaire and have a preliminary talk with one of our psychologists so we'll be better able to match them with a doctor and their own psychologist. If need be, we'll diagnose mental or physical ailments, and prescribe medication accordingly. Sessions with psychologists or group sessions would be assigned based on your friend's schedule and how much assistance they need. Am I answering your questions?"

"Yes," Starfire said. "Please, continue."

"After we open we'll have two options for patients. One will be coming in weekly or however often for session with doctors and psychologists, much like normal therapy. The other option is for more serious cases. If your friend desired, or if we thought it best we would suggest that they take a leave of absence from their duties to the city and become an in-patient for a while. It might be for a couple weeks, or up to a year."

"I see."

"What about your friend made you decide to contact us?"

Starfire sighed. "He has been consumed with a villain for the past three years, and his fixation has caused many terrible occurrences. This villain was killed a year ago, but Ro- er, my friend continues to believe he is alive and haunting him. He has refused our help and left us temporarily to find this villain."

"That's a problem I've seen in a lot of city protectors. Many have a distorted sense of responsibility, and have trouble letting go of past events. The addiction of crime-fighting is comparable to any other addiction, such as alcohol or narcotics. It isn't uncommon for city-protectors to turn to vices like these to escape the stress of their jobs. We have counselors trained specifically in the area of obsession and addiction." After Starfire had assured Holmes that Robin suffered from no addiction other than his obsession with Slade, Holmes added, "I want to again stress that the CPRC is completely confidential, and that all of our staff are specially trained to work with city-protectors. Would your friend be disclosing their identity?"

Starfire smiled. "No, he would not." In all the years they had known each other, even after he and Star had become a couple, Robin had never revealed his identity to the Titans. They'd never even seen his eyes. "I am afraid he is a very private person."

"No trouble at all. In my experience, most city protectors are. Feel free to give us a call if you have any further questions."

"I will. Thank you."

Starfire hung up the phone and stared at the receiver in her hand. She thought back to the day this had all started, the day of the dust incident. She thought of the days following that, of the night Robin had woken to think he was still under attack, and of how she and Cyborg had had to restrain him. She thought of Robin's sudden idea to leave the team and to venture on his own to bring down an arch-nemesis that was most likely dead. She thought of the way he had told her he loved her and the way he had kissed her.

Starfire let her gaze drop to the newspaper she was still clutching, to the communicator on her bedside table, that she knew wouldn't be answered if she tried calling him.

She thought of how much she loved him, but at the same time, how much he hated Slade. And she knew that unless he would let her help him, there was no way she could keep vying for his attention.

Picking up her communicator, Starfire pressed the button to connect to Robin, and waited for him to answer.

TT

Robin wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, including himself, but there was a part of his mind, however small, that knew that what he was doing was crazy. It was the voice in the back of his head that told him to stop turning his communicator off and to stop skipping meals and to stop going for days with almost no sleep. But that voice, whereas in anyone else it would have made them reconsider their actions, only encouraged Robin to work harder and to put more of a distance between him and his team. He had learned long ago that in order to get more done faster, it was best to ignore that voice, or even do the opposite of what it said.

And while one small part of his mind was telling him to rethink his plans, there was another section, bigger and more powerful, but still subdued, that was focused on Starfire. In the short interludes between fights, when he was making his way across the city or in the shower or taking a survey of his remaining weapons, his mind slipped away from the dark, crime-infested streets of Coal City, away from the run-down, unfurnished room he was renting, and away from the way his body begged him to sleep and eat, the requests almost never being granted. All those things would fade away, just slightly, and he would think of her.

Robin would find himself picturing her eyes, her hair, her smile. And his heart would ache, both because he wanted nothing more than to be with her, but also because he knew she was distracting him, and that was why he needed to distance himself. _Focus,_ he'd tell himself, _Focus on bringing down Slade, and then you can see her again. Do all you need to do to make sure Slade is taken care of permanently, and in the meantime erase all other distractions from your mind._ Had Robin been more aware of what he was thinking, he would have been appalled at himself to be terming Starfire as a distraction.

Besides, she had told him she'd never leave him, would be there when he got back. There was no time stamp on that promise, and she _knew_ how much it meant to Robin to defeat Slade. She'd seen what Slade had done to him. Hell, she had been the one to fall into his arms when Slade first activated the probes, the one to use a starbolt on him when he'd threatened to attack the team, the one to strap him to the bed and give him a sedative when he'd starting hallucinating… again. She, more than anyone else, knew why Robin had to do what he was doing.

From his place on top of a building, perched in wait of a man whom Packard had said had links to Slade, Robin thanked for the hundredth time whatever force had given him Starfire. Without her, he didn't know if he could go on.

But on the same token, his work, his need to defeat Slade, came first.

Upon seeing a man with a slim but sturdy build, light brown hair, and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses exit the building, Robin turned and started following him down the street, leaping from building to building. Packard, the man Scatto had told Robin was the one spreading rumors about Slade, had in turn directed Robin to this man, William Broker. Scatto had been right to describe Packard as a "shady guy," as he'd told Robin weeks before. Packard had required none of the roughing up that Scatto had, and in fact had seemed rather amused at Robin's request for information. He'd written down three names on a slip of paper and handed it to Robin. Though suspicious that Packard's hospitality was due more to a want to elevate tensions between the various Coal City gangs than a desire to help the famed Teen Titan leader, Robin had taken the names and been on his way.

The first two names had been dead ends, one quite literally when he found that the first man on the list had been killed in a shooting three days earlier. This had made Robin wary of trusting Packard's information, but the second name had led him to a well-known lawyer in James City, next door to Coal. The lawyer, Adam Bright, had once been suspected of unfair play in the courts, but had met agreeably with Robin, and had answered all his questions pleasantly if guardedly. Robin, already making a note in his head to check further into Bright's background, was further perturbed by the scowl on the lawyer's face as he left the office.

This had left Robin with the third and last name on the list, William Broker. Robin's research had shown that Broker had been officially unemployed for the past ten years, but residential records revealed that for those same ten years he had been living quite comfortably in one of the more upscale areas of Coal. Even if Broker hadn't been a possible collaborator with Slade, Robin would still have felt compelled to check him out once his current operation was over.

Robin had been around Coal enough times in the past four weeks that by now he knew the geography of the city well. So when he saw that Broker was heading in a direction that would take him past a short, deserted alleyway, Robin ran ahead and jumped into the alley, landing silently. He stood next to the brick wall that Broker would pass, keeping in the shadows. When Robin heard Broker's footsteps becoming louder he got into position, and when Broker passed by him Robin lunged. Broker didn't have time to say anything before Robin had him pinned to a wall, having grabbed him from behind and pulled him into the alley.

"William Broker, pleased to meet you," Robin said in a fake, condescending voice. "I have a couple questions for you, I hope you don't mind."

"W-what do you want with me? You work on the other side of the bay, over in Jump! I'm not in your territory! Leave me alone!" Broker tried to squirm his way out, but Robin held fast, his tone becoming more menacing.

"Like I said, I have some questions for you, and even if you do mind, I don't really care."

Broker glowered. "You superhero types are all the same. Going where you don't belong, picking on the guys with no jobs. I should call the-"

"If you don't have a job how can you afford a house on Ash Boulevard? Seems to me like a pretty expensive place to live if you're living off of unemployment."

"My… wife has a lot of money. She pays the bills."

"And which wife would this be? The one that you got arrested for assaulting, or the one that doesn't exist?"

Broker stuttered for a minute before Robin interrupted him. "Who do you work for?"

"I- I don't work for anybody, I just do jobs around town, you know? I just-"

"Who. Do. You. Work. For?" When Broker didn't offer any information Robin helped him along. "Do you work for a man named Slade?"

Broker's eyes widened and then he shook his head quickly. "No, I never worked for Slade."

Robin pulled Broker forward and then slammed him back against the brick wall. "Do you work for a man named Slade?"

Broker seemed to turn the question over in his head, and was about to shake his head again when Robin started reaching for something in his utility belt. "Okay, alright!" Broker sighed. "A little while ago I did some work for a guy named Wintergreen. He gave me lists of what to steal and who to get rid of, but I always figured he got his orders from someone else, 'cause I'd never heard of him before. But I didn't really care, 'cause he was paying me well." Broker bit his lip and carefully considered his words before continuing. "One day I was hacking into some files at the police station when I came across Wintergreen's name. I wasn't sure it was him 'cause I'd never seen him before, but the information fit with everything I knew about him, which wasn't much, but it was enough. His files said he worked with a guy named Slade, but all Slade's file had was a real shadowy picture and some of the heists he had pulled off. Nothing else, but I'm not stupid, I know who Slade is. I got a little…" He measured how to phrase his next words. "Concerned for my life, so I quit." He looked at Robin. "That's all."

"When was the last time you spoke to Wintergreen?" Robin made a note to remember that name.

"I think it was… a little less than two years ago."

"What kinds of things did he ask you to do?"

"I told you, he gave me lists of-"

"What _specifically _did he ask you to do?"

"Uh," Broker pursed his lips in thought. "Mostly he told me to steal technology, you know like computer chips and weaponry. And to get a few people out of his way."

"Did you kill those people?"

Broker shook his head. "Uh-uh. I beat 'em up and then put them on planes to Africa or Australia. Without passports or memories of how they got there, it took them a long time to get back home." Broker smiled, apparently proud of his accomplishments.

"And you _never_ spoke to Slade?"  
"I wasn't even supposed to _know_ I was dealing with Slade. Last I heard he had died in some fire or something."

Robin sighed and dropped Broker, the older man falling to the floor.

"Lava," Robin said. "It was lava, not fire." And then he shot his grappling hook to the roof and swung away.

This was how it had been going since he had come to Coal. A lead, which led to more leads, which always ended up with the same outcome: Slade was dead. But Robin knew it couldn't be that easy; besides, why would run-of-the-mill, small time criminals know anything about Slade's current status? Landing on the top of a building and surveying the city, Robin realized he'd have to stop counting on getting information from others. He'd have to start finding the trails himself, unassisted.

Turning up the street that would lead to his apartment, Robin found himself consciously wishing, for the first time in weeks, that Starfire would call. He needed to know someone still believed in him. He needed the support.

TT

Starfire had been trying all day to reach Robin, and it wasn't until five o'clock, seven hours after she had first seen the article in the Superhero Weekly, that he finally answered his communicator.

"Hello?" Robin sounded tired, but, Starfire noticed, not annoyed, as he usually was when he answered his comm.

"Robin, it is Starfire. How have you been?"

"Star?" Not only did Robin not sound annoyed, he sounded almost… pleased to hear her voice. "It's good to hear from you."

Starfire smiled, but her lips turned downward again when she remembered her reason for calling. "What have you been doing?"

Robin sighed, sending a little wave of static over the line. "I'm having a little… trouble. I keep on picking up dead ends."

"Are you not finding adequate sources of information? Perhaps if you were to continue your search in Jump you would be more successful." It was a long shot, but worth a try.

"No, I'm finding plenty of leads, they just all say the same thing."

"And that is…?"

"Everyone seems to think Slade is dead."

There was silence as Starfire waited for Robin to continue. When he didn't, she spoke up. "And there could not be truth in their words?" She spoke delicately, careful not to sound like she was insinuating anything.

"I can't take the word of a bunch of low-life criminals. None of them had ever even seen Slade." He sighed again. "No, I can't keep going off what they're saying. I've got to continue on my own, go back to the whole detective thing."

"Would you not consider coming home, even for a single day? I would very much like to see you."

"No, Star, I can't. I miss you, too, but I need to finish this up first. I'll be back soon."

After she had made sure he wasn't reconsidering cutting his mission short, Starfire took a breath and recited the lines she had perfected over the day. "I was reading the newspaper today, the Superhero Weekly, and I saw an article that was very interesting."

"What was it about?"

"It was about a new facility opening next week in Metropolis. 'The City Protector Recuperation Center.'"

"What about it?"

"I spoke to a member of their staff. They have many doctors and counselors there, Robin, that are trained to help heroes who have ailments. Even ailments like… obsession."

Starfire could almost hear Robin's eyes narrow. "Starfire, what are you trying to tell me?"

"Robin, do not get angry. I am simply requesting that you look into the center. I am worried about you, we are all worried about you, and I thought that-"

"I am not obsessed!" Robin yelled. "I'm trying to catch a psychotic villain that destroyed more lives and more people's sanity than anyone could even imagine! How can you call that an obsession!"

"It is an obsession because you do not see what everyone else can!" Starfire had resolved to be calm, but found herself quickly matching his tone. "The entire world believes Slade to be dead! Everyone in the world but you! You are running in circles trying to catch someone that is no longer living!"

"How do you know he's not alive? He could just be in hiding! He could be waiting for me to let my guard down so he can strike when I'm unprepared! I can't just let it go!"

"This is what he wants, Robin!" There were tears in Starfire's eyes now. "He wants you to spend your life looking for him, watching behind your back. He wants you to never sleep or live peacefully or be happy! You are letting him haunt you, Robin!"

Robin breathed heavily. "I'm not letting him do anything ever again. That's why I'm trying to bring him down."

"There are people at the Center who can help you, who know how to treat ailments and-"

"I don't need help because I'm not sick!"

Starfire put her face in her hands and let the tears make rivulets down her face. Then she said, "Robin, I cannot continue to compete with Slade for your attention." When he stayed silent Starfire continued. "You know I will always be here if you need me, but I can see that at the moment you do not need or want my help."

He sighed. "Starfire, don't-"

"You will not even consider getting help?"

Robin clenched his jaw. "No, Starfire. I won't."

"Then I guess I will be… talking to you."

"I guess." He kept his voice disaffected, unconcerned. But Starfire knew him better than that, could tell when he put up barriers to keep others out.

"I love you, Robin, but I cannot assist you if you will not let me. I wish you luck in your search."

And then Starfire closed her communicator and lay back on her bed.

In all the weeks Robin had been away, Starfire had never felt so far from him.

TT

Robin snapped his communicator shut and dropped it on the bed. Walking over to the bathroom, he splashed some water on his face and then grabbed a towel.

So what if Starfire had left him? Besides, she hadn't _really_ left him, had just implied it under a thinly veiled shroud. But either way, it didn't matter. Robin hung the towel back up on the shower and walked back to the bedroom, where his cape and belt were lying on a chair. He picked up his cape first, fastening it around his neck, and then buckled his belt snuggly around his waist. He took a glance back at his communicator and shrugged before heading outside towards the R-Cycle.

It was better this way. Now he wouldn't have to think about her so much. Now he wouldn't get so distracted. Now he would be able to put his full focus on his work, and take down Slade that much quicker.

Robin got into the seat of his motorcycle and revved the engine before pulling away from the curb at breakneck speed.

_She didn't leave me_, Robin told himself.

But even if she had, so what?

And besides, he had work to do.


	6. It Seems So Distant

**I was going to wait to post this until tomorrow, but then I thought since there was no update last week I'd just do it today. And you know why else this is being updated today instead of Friday...? Comic-Con this weekend! Wooo! Anyone else going?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "She Really Wants You," another of my personal favorites.**

* * *

**Chapter Six: It Seems So Distant**

* * *

"_You will be alright again, Robin. I promise. I am here. You are alright now."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Robin, do not be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."_

_"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I… I didn't know where I was. Please don't leave me alone again. In the dark. I don't want to be alone in the dark."_

_"I promise, Robin, I will not leave you."_

_"I saw him again, Star. He was coming after me. I see him everywhere. He's everywhere, Starfire."_

_"Slade is not here, Robin. You know that."_

_"Maybe he isn't… Maybe he isn't here, Starfire. And maybe he is."_

_"He is not here, Robin. I promise you he is not."_

_"I'm not going back…" _

_"No, Robin. You are not."_

_"I love you, Star."_

_"I love you, too."_

Robin groaned as a ray of sunlight hit his face. Opening his eyes, he found that yet again he had fallen asleep at his desk next to his laptop. Sitting up slowly, Robin grimaced at how sore his back felt from the awkward and uncomfortable position he had slept in.

It was the third morning in a row he'd found himself waking up at his desk, having fallen asleep the previous night while doing late-night research about the man called Wintergreen, and continually coming up empty handed. Robin had been doing even more work everyday than usual, trying to distract himself from his thoughts. But it wasn't really working. It was the third morning in a row he'd woken from dreaming about _her._

He stood up slowly, stretching out his back and arms. Walking to the bathroom, he stripped and showered before dressing again. As he was pulling on his shirt, Robin noted the bruise on his right shoulder from where he'd been hit the previous day. Robin had foiled a would-be arsonist, but had been too preoccupied to notice the criminal's foot poised in a roundhouse kick, and had been unable to duck or block in time. His shoulder now sported a purple welt the size of his baseball, and was tender to the touch. Seeing it, Robin frowned and finished getting dressed.

That mishap hadn't been the only one of its kind. In the three days since he'd last talked to Starfire, his mind had continuously been elsewhere when it should have been on fighting. At the most inconvenient moment he'd think about her. When he should have been punching he'd think of her smile. When he should have been kicking he'd think of her golden skin. When he should have been blocking he'd think of her eyes.

Robin only took it as more signs that he was better off without her. After all, this was exactly what he'd been worried about, wasn't it? That she'd distract him from his work, that their relationship would endanger their lives. Never mind that he'd been happier and calmer when he was with her than he'd ever been before. Never mind that she'd always been there for him, even before they'd become a couple and even after he left for Coal. Never mind that she'd only become a distraction once they were no longer speaking to each other.

But even as Robin was convincing himself that she was nothing more than a distraction, there was a part of him that was panicking. It wasn't the type of panic he'd experienced when he'd been forced to work for Slade, or the type of panic he'd felt when he could see the villain and no one else was able to. No, it was a panic he'd never experienced before.

It was the panic that he'd messed up the one good thing in his life, the one thing he'd been able to count on and the one thing that he'd thought would always be there. It was the panic that he'd never hold Starfire in his arms again, or kiss her again, or even look into her eyes again. It was the panic that forever more he'd be alone.

Because while Robin knew things could always get worse, he'd recently experienced for the first time that things could actually get better. And the thought that things _had_ gotten better, and that he was the reason they had gotten worse again, made him want to close his eyes and never open them again.

Robin sighed. He picked up his belt and fitted it around his waist, feeling all the compartments to make sure they were loaded. He found two pockets empty; where his bridarangs and freeze discs should have been, there was only air. Opening his suitcase and digging through the piles of gadgets and clothes, the corners of Robin's mouth started turning downwards.

He was out of freeze discs and birdarangs.

Robin ran a hand down the front of his face. He had been careful, so careful. He'd packed for his trip methodically, taking exactly what he'd need, no more, no less. He'd been prudent with how often he'd relied on his utility belt and other gadgets. But somehow, it hadn't been enough. The freeze discs he could live without, but the birdarangs… he'd come to count on them. And that meant calling the Tower.

His eyes flicked to the communicator on his bedside table. The white T on the yellow background seemed to mock him. Hesitantly, he reached over and picked up the little electronic device, flipping it open, turning it on, and pressing the button to connect to Titans Tower. _Had it been only a few days ago_, Robin found himself thinking, _I would have just called Star directly._ Robin shook his head and waited for someone, hopefully someone like Cyborg, Raven, or Beast Boy, to pick up.

But Robin closed his eyes in aggravation when he heard their voice.

"Hello?"

"Starfire, it's Robin." He tried his best to keep his voice steady and confident.

Even without being able to see her Robin was able to picture her trying to choose her next words. "I am… surprised to hear from you."

"I just need some more birdarangs. Is Cyborg there?"

"Oh." Robin ignored the disappointment she was trying to mask. "Yes, he is here. I will locate him for you." Robin could hear her footsteps as she walked away, presumably to find Cyborg.

Robin tried to bite down the hurt that he felt when she didn't try to prolong their conversation. _It doesn't matter._

"Robin?" Robin nodded in response to Cyborg before he remembered they couldn't see each other.

"Yeah."

"How's it going, man? We haven't heard from you in a while."

"Everything's fine. Listen, I just need you to send me some birdarangs and some freeze discs. Fifteen birdarangs and twenty discs. Just send them to the Coal City post office on overnight mail and I'll-"

"I'm going to drive them up."

Robin stopped mid-sentence. "What?"

"I'm going to take the T-Car and drive up to Coal and give them to you in person."

"Cyborg, that's really not necessary."

"It's no trouble."

Getting frustrated, Robin said, "The team needs you and it'll be faster and easier if you just mail them." For various reasons, many of which were unknown even to him, Robin had no desire to meet with Cyborg.

"Come on, Robin, you know how risky it is to trust the mailman with important things."

"The mail," Robin said through clenched teeth, "Is fine."

"What if the mail gets delayed or intercepted? What if your weapons get damaged on the way? What if some fangirls see you at the post office and you get swarmed?"

"Cyborg, it isn't that big of a deal."

"Yes it is, Robin." Cyborg's voice had taken on that tone that meant there was no arguing. "What's your address?"

"Uh, 1220 Bradley Street. Room 34."

"I'll be there by two o'clock." He didn't wait for Robin to respond before hanging up.

Robin stood staring at his communicator. He bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. He hadn't even wanted to talk to them, but to _see_ them? Robin knew full well how the visit would go. Cyborg would harass him about his mission, trying to convince him that Slade was dead and that he should just come back to the Tower. He'd try to tell Robin how much Starfire wanted him to come home, try to guilt him into it. Maybe he could convince Cyborg to send someone else in his place- Raven, or Beast Boy, even. Either of them would have been easier to deal with. But no, Robin knew that Cyborg would never go for that. Setting his comm. on the bedside table, Robin started preparing himself for what would certainly be a difficult visit and got ready to venture back into the city.

TT

Cyborg hadn't been planning on going to Coal, but when the opportunity arrived he had snatched it up in a heartbeat. It was true that he felt bad leaving the team leaderless again- for the short time he was away Raven would be in charge, but what was a few hours?- but he knew the others understood.

Things had actually been going pretty smoothly around the Tower in Robin's absence. Cyborg, along with Raven and Beast Boy, had just gone along their normal routines. And it had gotten easier as the weeks passed and everyone had gotten used to Robin being away. Well, almost everyone had gotten used to Robin being away. But Cyborg had decided to give Starfire her space, and to leave it up to her to bring the topic up. Contrary to popular belief he didn't like to meddle, and especially now that Star and Robin were together he wanted to give them their breathing room.

So Cyborg had waited until now to intercede. And while his reasons did have to do with Starfire, they were not solely for her benefit. When he had noticed that Starfire was no longer trying to contact Robin daily, he'd casually asked her about it. And when she'd responded that if Robin wanted to talk to her, _he_ could call_ her_, Cyborg had realized that if even Starfire had had enough with Robin, the situation was worse than he'd thought, and if she'd stopped trying to call him, Robin's lifeline to the Tower had basically been cut.

The plan was simple, really: Cyborg would drive over to Coal, give Robin the supplies, get a feeling for how well he was holding up, and, well… try not to lecture him. Giving Robin a speech about the faults in his plan, interrogating him in a hope to get him to see the flaws for himself, would do nothing but make matters worse. It would put Robin on the defensive, in which case he wouldn't back down, let alone concede, even if he knew Cyborg was right. So instead of all that, Cyborg planned on doing more listening and watching than talking. He was trying to think of this trip as more of a reconnaissance mission. He'd take account of how Robin was doing physically- was he eating? sleeping? taking proper care of any battle wounds? more than likely not- and give a full account to the team. Well, he'd give a full account to Raven and Beast Boy. Depending on how Robin was holding up, he was prepared to give Starfire the censored version. And, if the timing was right, he'd drop hints about the need for a leader at the Tower, the way they all missed him, the way a certain Tamaranian missed him… And then he'd go from there.

Cyborg placed the box with Robin's birdarangs and freeze discs into the trunk and got into the driver's seat. He'd told the others where he was going, and had assured them he'd be back by tomorrow morning, at latest. But it was highly unlikely that Cyborg wouldn't be back tonight.

Knowing Robin, he'd want Cyborg out of his territory as fast as possible.

TT

Robin walked down the stairs of his apartment building, using the back entrance to get to where his motorcycle was parked. Grabbing his helmet and adjusting it on his head, Robin sat down, revved the engine and pulled onto the street. He kept his mouth in a hard line, his eyes narrowed in concentration. It was hard to drive when you kept thinking about something else.

_Was I really so difficult that she needed to leave me? _Robin asked himself before trying to clear his head. _It doesn't matter. I don't care._

He continued on for a number of blocks, looking out for anyone in need of his services. With Cyborg arriving in three or four hours, Robin wouldn't start a new search today, lest he actually pick up a trail and then be dragged back to his apartment by Cyborg. Instead he'd spend the day much like he had at the Tower, breaking up small crime and maybe doing some research on his computer. Either way, he'd keep busy.

Robin turned another corner and passed the street where he had had his chat with Scatto all those weeks ago. It hadn't been a terribly long time, but it felt like forever.

_Almost as long as it's been since I've seen Star. How long _has_ it been?_

He bit his lip and sped up. Robin needed to find something to keep himself occupied for the next few hours. Sighing, he thought about how much time was being wasted today, just going after minor crooks and having the obligatory visit with Cyborg when he could be tracking down Slade. If his team wanted him to come back to the Tower so badly, why were they keeping him from doing work? Didn't they understand that the more time he spent updating them, the less time he spent getting things done?

_She of all people should understand that. She's the reason I'm not getting work done right now. I can't see her if I need to focus on tracking down Slade._

Robin pulled over to the side of the road and got off his bike, stretching his arms over his head. His cape and shoes felt strangely heavy, and his gloves irritated the pads of his fingers. He shook his head and got back on his bike.

_I don't have time for her. I don't need her. I don't miss her. She's too much of a distraction._

Suddenly a gunshot sounded out, making Robin jump. He cursed himself for getting caught up in his thoughts, turned his motorcycle towards the sound of people screaming and stepped on the gas.

_See? Just a distraction._

Robin sped down the street, coming around a corner just in time to see a man dressed all in black- classic "robber" gear- descend the steps of a small bank. In one hand he waved a gun at the bank doors, and in the other he clutched a suitcase, presumably full of money. The robber began to get on a motorcycle, and Robin started towards him. At the sound of the R-Cycle's engine the robber turned around, saw Robin, muttered a curse, and screeched down the street. Robin followed.

The man had obviously used a motorcycle before, as he took the sharp turns and dodged between traffic almost as well as Robin did. But his constant looks behind him kept him from gaining too much distance, and Robin had soon closed the space to just a few feet.

_Distractions are dangerous. I need to keep my full focus on my job, not on anyone else. Not even on her._

The voice of the robber pulled Robin back to the present. "Back off, kid!" The man shouted, turning his head just a little to make sure he was heard over the engines and rushing wind. "Stay back, you hear me! I've got a gun and I know how to use it!"

_I don't need her. I don't miss her._

"Congratulations, you've just threatened to use force and therefore have increased your jail time," Robin shouted to him in response. The thief increased his speed. So did Robin.

_This was what I was always worried about, remember? That if I was with someone- that if I was with _her_- it would endanger her and me and anyone else that got involved._

A bullet zipped past Robin's head, and another one sprung off one of his handlebars. Robin moved over about a foot and started accelerating, until finally we was almost right beside the other man, just a few inches behind him on the left side.

"Pull over and drop your weapon!" Robin shouted, trying to gain enough speed to cut the robber off. He turned his attention from the man to the street ahead of them, trying to find the right place to swing his bike in front of the other man's.

"No way in hell, kid!"

_I don't miss her smile and her laugh and the way her eyes sparkle and how she's the only one that really listens and really cares._

The robber switched his gun to his left hand. "Get out of my way!"

Robin narrowed his eyes and began to pull ahead.

_I don't need her to be there for me._

Robin yelled out in pain as the robber slammed the butt of his gun onto Robin's right hand, where it lay on the motorcycle handle. He heard and felt the distinct crack that meant that bones were being broken, and blood trickled down the handlebar. Robin clenched his teeth and tried his best to hold onto the handle, but the sudden shooting pain and the blood making slippery trails along the handle forced him to drop his right hand by his side. And with only one hand steering and the other broken and useless, he quickly lost control, his bike veering left and ramming into a wall, smashing the left side of his body with the impact.

The robber didn't stick around, driving away with a screech as Robin slumped on his bike, breathing heavily.

_I don't need her._

_I don't need her._

_God, I need her._

TT

The T-Car hummed softly as it drove through Coal City, its sleek blue and silver body and un-cracked windows setting it apart from the other run-down if not broken-down vehicles on the streets. The deeper into Coal Cyborg had driven the worse the city had become, until every building looked to be on the verge of collapse and even the sky seemed to be tinted an unwelcoming grey. Homeless people perched on street corners, and it was hard to tell what were gunshots or cars back-firing. Cyborg knew none of Coal was exactly gorgeous, but this was by far one of the worst areas.

_And of course this is where Robin chooses to live_, Cyborg thought as he rounded another corner, looking for the street called Bradley. He finally found it, and drove slowly down the street until he came to a dilapidated brick building. 1220 Bradley Street. Home sweet home.

After some consideration, Cyborg decided to park his car in front of the apartment building. He figured it was between being parked in the front, where it was easily visible to both Cyborg and hoodlums, or in the back, where it was _not_ easily visible to Cyborg or the hoodlums. Parked in the front Cyborg had a better chance of seeing any potential carjackers from upstairs. Hopefully.

He got out of the car and was about to retrieve the box of Robin's things from the trunk, but instead went directly to the front door. This way, he would have some leverage if Robin refused to talk. It wasn't much, but with things already bad, it was hard to see them getting any worse.

Entering the building and walking up the stairs to get to the fourth and top floor, Cyborg took a careful look at his surroundings. The building hadn't been cleaned for at least a year, and cigarette buds, beer cans, and other assorted pieces of trash lay noticeable in every corner. The paint was peeling from the walls and the doors, and many doors didn't even have a number on them, just an imprint where the brass numbers once were. The stairs creaked under Cyborg's weight, but he went on.

The door for room 34 was no better off than the others. It was a corner room on the top floor of the building, and Cyborg noted the room could be broken into by even the most amateur thief; the beaten-up door and shoddy doorknob would make for incredibly easy entering. Cyborg found himself hoping that Robin really _had_ run out of freeze discs and birdarangs and that he wasn't in need of them because they had mysteriously vanished while he was out hunting criminals.

Cyborg knocked and waited for Robin to answer. The thought had crossed his mind that Robin wouldn't be home, and in all likelihood he wasn't, but Cyborg didn't know where else to go. He was about to call Robin on his communicator- although the chances of Robin answering his comm. were about the same as him being home- but to Cyborg's surprise the door opened and he was met with a very exhausted-looking Robin.

_I wonder how much sleep he's been getting,_ Cyborg asked himself, but outwardly he smiled. "Robin. Good to see you. It's been a while."

"Yeah, I guess it has been." Robin stood back and let Cyborg enter before closing the door again. "Did you bring the things?"

Cyborg nodded. "They're in the car. I'll bring them up in a minute. I thought we could just talk first." Cyborg was doing his best to take a look around without seeming to pry. He frowned at what he saw. The room was in shambles, a bed and nightstand in one corner, a lamp in another, and a door that he could only imagine would lead to a bathroom with no water pressure. Weapons, clothing, and electronics were spread out all over the bed, and Cyborg found himself wondering where Robin slept, also noticing the window on the wall across the way that although closed still allowed gusts of cold wind into the room.

"What did you want to talk about?" Robin stood in a corner darkened by shadows, his arms crossed. Cyborg glanced over at him and for the first time noticed the bruise on the left side of his face and on his arm.

"Man, what happened? You look like you fell down a flight of stairs… on only one side." Cyborg turned on the light in the corner and then walked towards Robin, who was trying to scowl, but looked too tired and dejected to do so. "Seriously, what happened?"

"I lost control of my motorcycle and hit a wall. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine to me."

Robin sighed. "Cyborg-"

"Robin, what happened to your hand?" Cyborg had caught the glimpse of white bandages from where Robin's right hand lay tucked beneath his left arm.

"Nothing happened. I told you, I lost control of my bike."

"Then why is your left side all banged up but your _right_ hand is in a bandage?"

"I took care of it, okay? I'm fine."

Cyborg frowned. "Robin, I'm not gonna lecture you or tell you to come home, but I'm not gonna just sit around if you're getting hurt and not taking care of it." When Robin didn't respond, Cyborg asked, "Is it broken?"

"Yeah. Three fingers."

"Damn, how'd you do that?"

Robin spoke as Cyborg grabbed his hand and began unwrapping the bandages. "I was chasing some thief and he smashed my hand with his gun, and I couldn't control my motorcycle and ran into a wall."

"Put your hand out flat."

Robin winced as he tried to keep his hand straight, but did as he was told. Cyborg re-wrapped his hand and tied off the ends. "You need to get that in a splint."

"I will when I have time. I've broken my hand before, you know."  
"You've broken your arm before, not your hand. It's different."

Robin consented, "Okay, I'll get it taken care of. What did you want to talk about?"

Cyborg walked past Robin to the door. "Know anywhere we can get something to eat?"

"Yeah."

"Come on, we can talk there."

Robin gave Cyborg directions to Joe's Coffeehouse a couple miles away, and said he'd meet him there. There was a debate on whether Robin would ride in the T-Car or take his motorcycle, but Robin had insisted he take his motorcycle, even though it was damaged from its collision. He'd told Cyborg that he wanted to go back into the city after they left the cafe, and even though Cyborg had been frustrated he'd conceded, not wanting to push things.

They met ten minutes later. Joe's Coffeehouse was just what the name implied, a small diner that served sandwiches and coffee. Robin and Cyborg sat down at a table and both ordered coffee. Cyborg hadn't really been hungry; he just wanted to get Robin out of his downbeat apartment.

"So how're things going?" Cyborg asked, hoping Robin wouldn't flip out and start yelling. Instead, Robin just shrugged.

"Fine. I've found a lot of leads."

"Did they go anywhere?"

"Some of them did."

Cyborg nodded. Robin may have been willing to talk, but he wasn't going to make it easy.

"What do you really want to know, Cyborg?" Robin sat back and looked at the ceiling. "What are you really asking me?"

Cyborg was quiet for a moment, trying to read Robin. "What are you doing, Robin? What exactly are you looking for?"

Robin sighed. "You know who I'm looking for."

"Yeah."

"And you're going to tell me to stop looking. You're going to tell me he's dead."

"No, I'm not. I think you should come back, but you wouldn't listen to me even if I asked you to. But I want to know." Cyborg paused for a second. "Are you willing to let it go if you find out he's really gone?"

Robin looked at Cyborg. "Why wouldn't I?"

"What if you found out today he was gone? Would you come home today?"

"How am I supposed to know if he's really gone, Cyborg? I'm just supposed to find a body and believe that it's real?" To Cyborg's surprise, Robin had spoken these words quietly, almost sadly.

"Well… How _would_ you know?" Robin turned away. "Is there something you're looking for? 'Cause we can help find it, if there is."

"You don't understand."

"Then explain it to me."

"Why can't you just believe me!" Robin put his hands on the table and leaned forward, finally exasperated. "Why can't you just take my word for it that I know what I'm doing and I can do it on my own!"

"Because you don't _need_ to do it on your own. That's why you have a team, Rob."

"Well we never stopped him before!" Robin propped his head on his hand and let out a breath. "Look, Cy, I appreciate you guys wanting to help. But I need to do this on my own. I'm not going back to Jump. There's nothing for me in Jump right now."

Cyborg sighed. "Robin, everything that's happened in the past three years has sucked. I know that. The team knows that. Maybe you just need some time off, and that's cool. But don't abandon us, and don't think we're abandoning you."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Robin mumbled.

"Starfire didn't abandon you, either."

Robin looked up at him. After a moment he spoke. "What?"

"She's not abandoning you. She's just tired of worrying about you. And trust me, man. She's still worried about you."

Robin glanced down at his hands and swallowed. "Well, if that's the case… Then why did she...?" Robin trailed off.

"Robin, we both know it's not fair to either of you. Did you really think she'd just sit tight while you played hero in a totally different city? But… do you really think she's given up on you? Do you really think she's stopped caring about you?" Robin didn't answer. "She hasn't."

When Robin didn't say anything Cyborg stood and put a five dollar bill on the table. "Come on, I'll give you your stuff. It's in the trunk."

Robin got up and followed Cyborg outside to the T-Car, where Cyborg picked up the heavy box and handed it over to Robin.

"You sure you can take it on your motorcycle? I can drive it back for you."

Shaking his head, Robin said, "No, it's fine. I can strap it to the back." Cyborg waited as Robin hooked the box to the back of the bike, and suddenly a thought came into Cyborg's head.

"Didn't you say you were gonna go back into the city from here?"

Robin was putting on his helmet, and having trouble securing it under his chin. "Yeah."

"How are you gonna fight crime with that box on your bike?"

Taking a look behind, Robin shrugged and faced Cyborg again. "I guess I'll take it home first."

Cyborg nodded, and Robin was about to take off when Cyborg stopped him.

"Hey, you know, anytime you want to come back you can. Even if it's just for a day or something."

Robin nodded. "I know."

"No, I mean…" Cyborg walked up to Robin. "Seriously. Just consider it, okay? We're all there for you. And… Star is, too."

Robin nodded. And then he drove away.

Cyborg sighed before turning back to his car. A check of the clock told him it was a little before three. By the time he got back to the Tower it would be close to six. Cyborg stretched, getting ready for the long drive back home.

TT

Robin pulled up to the curb and parked his motorcycle, tracing his fingers along the gashes in the metal before picking up the box with his weapons in it and bringing it upstairs. For some reason his room felt a lot colder and emptier than it had before. He dropped the box on his bed and tore it open, counting the freeze discs and birdarangs before adding a couple of each to his utility belt. Then he sat down on the bed.

So she still cared about him, huh?

Robin lay back and closed his eyes.

_Thank you, God._


	7. Walkabout

**First of all, let me apologize for the shortness of this chapter. Second of all, I totally got my picture taken with Robin at Comic Con. Third of all, the title of this chapter was taken from the title of an episode of Lost. And fourth of all, I realize I have yet to say thank you to everyone who's reviewed. _Thank you all so much!_ The reviews I've gotten for this story have been among the best I've ever gotten, and inspire me to write faster. Thanks, everyone!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "Video."**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Walkabout**

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Cyborg hadn't been lying when he'd told Robin that Starfire still cared about him. Lying, no. Underemphasizing… Maybe. 

The fact was, and Starfire knew it all too well, she still cared for Robin, still _loved_ Robin, just as much as she ever had. And by the same token, she still worried about him just as much as she ever had. She'd hoped that separating herself further from him would ease her anxiety, but knowing that he was still out there, fighting and alone, and without her support, not only increased her concern, it filled her up with guilt.

When Cyborg had returned from Coal City, she'd gathered around him in the common room with Raven and Beast Boy, the latter two barraging him with questions. How was Robin's search going? Was he taking care of himself? Did he say when he would come home? Raven's questioning had been calm but concerned, while Beast Boy's had been more nervous. Starfire had listened intently to what Cyborg had to say, but hadn't offered any queries of her own. And she could tell by the way Cyborg glanced at her that he was waiting until she was gone to give Raven and Beast Boy the full details.

When Cyborg had told them all he knew, the four had gone back to their separate activities. Starfire, standing and walking back toward the elevators, had heard footsteps behind her but didn't have a chance to turn before she felt Cyborg's hand on her shoulder.

"Starfire, really, he's doing fine."

Now she turned to look at him. "Is he really?" Cyborg was about to nod, but seeing the look in her eyes made him reconsider. He knew he couldn't fool her that easily.

"He's doing alright, all things considered. But he's still pretty sure Slade's out there."

"And he still does not know when he will be returning?"

"No."

Starfire let her gaze drop to the floor before looking back up at Cyborg and trying to smile. "Thank you, Cyborg."

Starfire turned back to the elevators and once there, pressed the button to take her up to the fifth floor. When the doors opened she walked down the hallway to her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Her room was cast in shadows, a result of the early evening sky outside being thick with clouds, and a cool breeze flew in from her slightly opened window. Starfire made her way over to the window, and, pulling it closed, her eyes fell on the city on the other side of the bay. Both the tallest skyscrapers and the smallest cars were coated in fog, but the sight of the bustling city called to her. Quickly exchanging her uniform for a pair of jeans and a red shirt, and pulling on a grey hooded sweatshirt, Starfire exited her room and took the elevator back to the ground floor. After placing a hand in her pocket to make sure she had her communicator, Starfire pulled the door open and walked out into the frigid day. The roof was always a calming place to be, but today she wanted a change of scenery. Taking a walk through the city would be a nice disembarking from the ordinary. Flying briefly to get to the other side of the bay, Starfire touched down on the sidewalk and shoved her hands in her jacket pockets to keep off the cold.

If she had had it her way, Starfire would have spent much more of her spare time exploring the city, looking into shops, walking around the park, watching people come and go. But Starfire spent relatively little time in the city for how close they lived. Besides needing to be on constant call in case the Titans' services were ever needed, there was so much else that needed to be done at the Tower. Training took up a few hours everyday, and there were always dished or laundry to do. And besides that, the others rarely expressed the desire to just do the "hanging out." There always seemed to be video games to play, or cars to work on, or books to read, or files to organize. Of course, it wasn't like Starfire _never_ went to the city, just not as much as she would have liked to.

Today there weren't many people just walking around. It was relatively late to be out- a quarter to eight- the clouds threatened rain, and the chilly gusts of wind blew Starfire's hair into her face, making her wish she'd brought a hair tie. But she pressed on, walking through the shopping district, absentmindedly looking in windows as she passed. By twenty minutes after she'd set out, Starfire knew it was a mistake to have come alone. Being by herself gave her nothing to distract herself from her loneliness and anxiety.

Not that being at the Tower was so different- she'd noticed almost immediately that the others were leaving her to her own devices. At first she'd been grateful that they'd left her alone and hadn't overwhelmed her with good intentions. She'd needed the time just after Robin left to give herself over to melancholy and self-pity, but now that already a month had passed she was ready to talk to someone about it. The problem was, though Starfire knew any one of her friends would be willing to listen, they were too close to the situation to see it unbiased. At this point, Starfire didn't even know if she was overreacting. In the big scheme of things was Robin's obsession with Slade, addiction to crime fighting, and leave of absence really that big a deal? The more she thought about it, Starfire was still pretty sure that it was, but she also knew that she needed a second opinion, one that her friends wouldn't be able to give her. Not for the first time since Robin's departure, Starfire wished she knew of other people she could talk to.

"Hey, Starfire!"

Said Tamaranian spun around, looking for who had called her name. Even without her uniform, she knew she was hard to miss, with her red hair, golden skin and large green eyes. But who she saw surprised her, and made her smile.

Aqualad was on the other side of the street, waiting for the cars to pass before running across towards Starfire on the other sidewalk. He, too, was wearing civilian clothes- a pair of faded jeans and a red windbreaker. His long black hair fell just below his shoulders.

"Hello, Aqualad." Starfire had long ago gotten over her crush on him, but could still appreciate how handsome he was. Since first meeting him she'd seen him only a small handful of times, but had been glad when he'd informed them that he was leaving his home in the ocean to move to Steel City. "What has brought you to Jump? Is it not a far way from Steel City?"

"I just came to pick up some equipment. I was thinking about calling you guys, but I figured you had enough to deal with right now without me dropping by." Aqualad, along with a few other heroes near Coal City, had been notified of Robin's residence in Coal shortly after he had left. There were two main reasons Cyborg had made those contacts: First was to ask them to keep the Titans informed if they ran into Robin- none of their contacts had- and second was simply to let the rest of the local heroes know what was going on before they read it in the tabloids. And sure enough, the four or five various Jump and Steel City tabloids had been coming out with almost weekly articles about the situation. "Are you out here alone?" Aqualad asked.

Starfire nodded. "I wished to be alone, but now would be most pleased to have some company, if you do not mind."

Laughing, Aqualad said, "I don't need to be back in Steel anytime soon. Want to take a walk around town?"

"I would like that very much."

The two started walking, a gust of wind causing Starfire to shiver and Aqualad to mimic Starfire and put his hands in the pockets of his windbreaker.

"Why are you out here on such a cold day?" Aqualad turned his head to look at her, raising his eyebrows slightly. Starfire shrugged.

"I wanted to get out of the Tower. I have been spending a lot of time inside and thought it would be a good idea to get some of the fresh air."

They walked in silence for a few moments before Aqualad spoke again. "How are you guys holding up with Robin off in Coal?"

Starfire sighed. "It has been difficult without him. Well," she smiled, "It has been difficult for me."

"Have you been in contact with him?"

"Not as much as I would like to be. The last time we spoke at length it was… not a pleasant conversation."

"There've been a ton of articles about him in the paper."

Looking at Aqualad out of the corner of her eye, Starfire asked suspiciously, "_Which _paper?"

Aqualad knew just what she meant, and smiled. "The tabloids. You know, the Jump City Watch, the Jump City Star Tracker, the Steel City Globe…" Aqualad counted off three of the major tabloids on his fingers. These papers were notorious among the celebrity-like heroes for twisting the truth or sometimes, if the truth wasn't interesting enough, making up new ones all together. Both the Titans, Aqualad, and all the other nearby heroes made a point of skimming all these papers on a bi-weekly basis, just to make sure that nothing too problematic was being said. But other than that, the unofficial rule was to just ignore everything the tabloids had to say.

"What have you read?" Starfire knew it wouldn't do her any good to know what those slanderous articles were saying, but she felt that if she knew she would be better able to guard against the rumors.

"You know how it is. They say things like Robin's leaving the Titans, Robin's starting a new team in Coal, the Titans threw Robin out…" Aqualad cleared his throat and trailed off. "I know I shouldn't believe anything I read in those papers, and I don't…" Aqualad made eye contact with Starfire, emphasizing his last point, "But they said some stuff about you."

Starfire frowned. She never could understand how the tabloids got all their information. "And what did they say?"

"I believe the headline was 'Titans Find That Love Can't Survive Long Distance Relationship.'"

Starfire looked at the ground. No matter how many times she wore them, tennis shoes always felt strange to her. "That is not how I would have put it, but I suppose it fits."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I am unsure of where to start."

Aqualad smiled. "Start at the beginning."

Starfire smiled sadly. "Do you know of the man called Slade?"

TT

It took over forty minutes, and a much condensed version of the story, but Starfire told Aqualad everything. About the first time they fought Slade, about Robin's stint as Red X, about his apprenticeship. She told him about Terra and her betrayal, about Slade's death, about Robin's obsession and finally, about the dust. She realized that Aqualad knew all this already, at least the basic facts of who everyone was and when the events had taken place. But still she told him everything, because now she was giving him details, now he was listening with a new ear. He was hearing a new side of the story; whereas before he had gotten reports on the subjects from Robin or Cyborg, now he was getting the story from someone who could and would give him the story in terms of heartache and real life. It was no longer cases in a computer, in which facts, dates, and names were spell-checked, edited, and stored away; now it was a story, detailed and with feeling, and the characters were no longer just Titans- they were teenagers, friends.

By the time Starfire got to the point where Cyborg had gone to see Robin, Aqualad was starting to better understand the situation.

"So Cyborg said Robin wasn't doing that great?"

"He did not say so forthright, but it was implied. I know Cyborg is keeping parts of his visit from me, so I do not know how bad things really are."

"What would you do if you did know?"

Starfire shook her head. "I do not think I could do anything. Robin refuses my help at all costs. He will not consider even looking at the City Protector Recuperation Center, he is constantly turning off his communicator, and he is always distracted when he talks to me." Sighing, Starfire added, "I do not think he would _let_ me do anything."

"Did you expect him to be willing to look into the CPRC?" Aqualad asked, using the Center's initials.

"I hoped he would, but truly I knew he would not."

They walked in silence before Aqualad added, "It sounds like the perfect place for him, though, from what you told me about his situation. I mean, it sure sounds like a dangerous obsession to me."

Starfire nodded. "I described Robin's situation to the woman I spoke to at the Center, and she assured me that it is common for heroes to be obsessed with fighting crime."

"And I'm sure it's also common for heroes with obsessions to refuse to get help."

"Do you think so?" Starfire looked at Aqualad, pushing some hair behind her ear. The wind had let up a little, but was still blowing her hair around messily.

"I'm sure. Robin sounds like he's pretty bad off right now, but I don't think he's reacting any differently than you or I would in this type of situation."

Starfire smiled. "I hope that if it was me I would not act this way."

After a moment, Aqualad said, "You wouldn't."

"What do you mean?"

Aqualad shrugged. "You've seen the way Robin's been acting, and you know how much it hurts to see him this way. You wouldn't do to him what he's doing to you."

"I suppose not." Starfire bit her lip. "But what if it is not what Robin is doing to me but what I am doing to Robin?"

Now it was Aqualad's turn to be surprised. "What are you doing to Robin?"

"I deserted him! I promised him I would never leave him alone. I promised him I would be here when he returned! And now I have done the breaking up when I needed to be there for him the most! Now he is all alone again!" Starfire rubbed her forehead. "I promised him I would never leave him alone again."

"Starfire," Aqualad put a hand on her shoulder. "You did what you needed to do for _you._ If he isn't reaching out there's nothing you can do about it."

"But should I not be the one reaching out to him?"

"I think at this point the ball's in his court."

"The- what?"

"It's a saying. It means that it's Robin's turn to reach out to you. You can keep calling to let him know you're there, but at this point he's not giving you any information and it's just frustrating you to talk to him."

"Then it was not wrong of me to do the breaking up?"

Aqualad shrugged. "I'm no expert on relationships. But maybe that was the push he needed to realize he was moving in the wrong direction."

Starfire frowned. "I still wish it had not come to that."

"I know. It's never easy."

"And I fear that now that I am no longer trying to call him, he will not contact us even if he needs us."

Aqualad looked at her. "What do you think would happen that he would need to call you but wouldn't?"

"He could become injured or require assistance in his search or… something else could happen."

"Something else like…?"  
"He still believes that Slade is out there," Starfire explained, "Which means that he would also be led to believe that Slade is still after him."

"And if that was the case…?"

"And if that was indeed the case then I worry that the after-effects of the dust would still be upsetting him."

"You think that he's still having nightmares. Still seeing Slade." Aqualad glanced at her for confirmation.

"It is highly possible, especially since he is dedicating so much time to proving Slade's existence."

"Do you think he'd let you know if he was having nightmares again?"

"I very much doubt it. He wants so much to show us that he does not need assistance and is succeeding in his mission that I fear he would think of the apparitions as a sign of weakness."

"So he'd just… suffer in silence?"

Starfire smiled sadly. "Robin has been suffering in silence for as long as I can remember."

Aqualad laughed and slowed his walking to a standstill. "I need to get going, Starfire. There's a bus stop around here that goes back to Steel City. The ocean's too choppy to swim today."

"It has been most uplifting talking to you." Starfire brought her hands out of her pockets and blew on them to keep them warm.

"Yeah, it was nice seeing you. I should come up to Jump more often."

"I look forward to your next visit."

Aqualad smiled and hugged Starfire. "If you need to talk, just give me a call, alright?"

Nodding and returning the hug, Starfire replied, "I may take you up on that."

Aqualad laughed again and gave her a quick, chaste kiss on the cheek before pulling back. "See you around, Starfire. Good luck with everything."

"Goodbye, Aqualad."

With a final wave, the two turned and parted ways, Aqualad continuing up the sidewalk about a block, and Starfire heading back towards the Tower. The wind was still bitterly cold, and the dark grey clouds threatened to start their downpour at any moment, but walking along the streets of Jump, her cheeks tinted pink from the cold, Starfire realized she was happier now than she'd been in a long time.


	8. Relapse

**Don't you hate it when you have something really amazing in mind for a chapter, and then you're writing it up and you realize it won't work for the story? I had such vision for this chapter. Such vision! Oh, well. It still turned out pretty well, but it could have been _so much more!_**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "Little Bombs." That is a _seriously_ sad and pretty song.**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Relapse**

* * *

It had taken a week, but Robin's depression over Starfire had smoothed out, with no small thanks to Cyborg. While Robin still felt acutely distant from Star, thoughts of her were no longer clouding his ability to think straight, and especially after Cyborg had convinced Robin that she still cared about him, the pain confusing Robin's mind had dwindled to a small, though still powerful, ache. But along with the pain of that emotional blow receding, Robin found his attitude changing again, as well. 

He was by no means denying how badly he missed Starfire, but was instead turning that feeling from a longing into a motivation. A motivation to find and finish Slade, a motivation to remain strong, a motivation to show Star, and the rest of the team, that he could succeed. The harder he worked- the_ faster_ he worked- the quicker he'd be on the road back to the Tower. The quicker he'd get to see Starfire again. And the quicker he could put all this behind him.

Robin began looking for more leads, talking to more possible witnesses. He planned each of his outings down to the minute, packing in as many stops a day as possible. At night he would fight off the drowsiness that threatened to consume him and would hunt down more and more obscure information on his computer, making connections between the most dissimilar pieces of data, and keeping everything stored under intricately organized -yet increasingly complicated- filing procedures.

Sometimes Cyborg's words would sneak their way into his thoughts. _"…you don't need to do it on your own. That's why you have a team, Rob."_ And Robin would just shake his head and keep on working. Because to Robin, it had now become even more important that he prove himself strong, capable, and independent. That he prove he wasn't weak. That he prove he didn't need help.

It was eight days after Starfire had told Robin that she couldn't keep competing with Slade that Robin stood by the window of his apartment, adjusting the bandages on his hand and watching the horizon. It was only just eight in the evening, but as winter was approaching it had been getting darker earlier. The clouds hovering above the city had also started to become grayer, and Robin was sure it wouldn't be long before it began to rain- all the more reason to hurry up. Fitting his belt around his waist, Robin turned away from the window and crossed his small room, closing the door behind him and making his way to his motorcycle.

Once on the R-Cycle Robin made his way to an old warehouse. The warehouse, empty and unused for quite sometime, was located in an area of Coal City that saw almost no pedestrian traffic. Most inhabitants never passed through this part of the city at all; all that was there were factories from the days when manual labor was all Coal had to offer. Now Coal's employment structure had expanded to involve liquor, drugs, and other small-time crime, along with three or four moderately big names in the crime circuit. Most of these buildings had been cleared out years ago; all that remained were unpackaged boxes and cheap desks. Up until a few years ago a couple clever gangs and crime rings had used certain factories for their bases of operation. But even that trade was now abandoned, following a fire that took out over half the buildings. Now most of the remaining buildings were half-charred, dilapidated beyond repair. But there was one remaining warehouse that had been, miraculously, untouched by the fire. It was the largest of them, and stood toward the back of the area. It was this building that Robin now set his sights on.

Had Slade's status not been so up in the air, Robin knew he would have taken his team here long ago to search for the villain's whereabouts. After all, it was classic Slade: Huge, run-down building, empty and enshrouded in shadows, creepy if still unassuming to the untrained eye. A place no one in their right mind would want to be. But then again, Slade wasn't exactly in his right mind, was he?

Robin suppressed a flood of memories and a shiver of his spine as he got off his bike and put his helmet on the seat. This place, it reminded him so much of Slade. Both the building where the chronotron detonator supposedly was and each of Slade's past headquarters had looked strikingly similar. Robin tried to ignore the dust that rose into the air with every step he took as he walked towards the building.

The door, Robin found, was almost falling off its hinges, and whined loudly when he pushed it open. The window on the door was cracked, and shards of glass crunched under Robin's feet as he walked on.

Inside it felt several hours later than it did outside, the outcome of the building being almost windowless, except for a few skylights in the ceiling several stories up. But even these windows were caked in grime, emitting very little natural light, and Robin pulled out his flashlight, sweeping it around the bottom floor to get an idea of his surroundings.

The building was large, but seemed even bigger because there was nothing inside to break the area into smaller sections. A stairway sat in the middle of the building, the stairs made of the same grey metal as the walls. The floor was cement, and cobwebs covered every corner, as well as the few desks and boxes that sat against the cracked and peeling walls.

Robin frowned. He'd have to go farther in if he wanted to find what he was looking for. But that was the problem: Just as Cyborg had implied, Robin didn't really know _what_ he was looking for. A cracked mask? A broken down Slade-bot? A stack of plans with Slade's name on it? Even though Robin knew much less about Slade than he would have liked to admit, he did know that Slade was much too smart and cautious to leave evidence like that lying around. But then, wasn't Slade too smart and cautious to leave _any_ evidence lying around? Robin sighed, and immediately found it to be a bad idea as he inhaled a great lungful of dust and stale air, and began coughing hoarsely, trying to expel it. He brought up a gloved hand to cover his mouth before moving on.

Using the strong but small beam his flashlight produced, Robin walked slowly around the perimeter of the bottom floor. Stopping in front of one of the abandoned desks, Robin brought his hand away from his mouth to open one of the drawers. Inside, the plastic dividers of a filing cabinet sat in disuse, and a quick look showed that nothing was left of the files. The two drawers below that one had nothing in them, and Robin pushed each drawer shut before opening the remaining one above where the desk's owner would have sat. Robin felt a spark of hope when he spotted a small stack of papers amidst the dust and cobwebs, but found each page to be blank and yellowing. The cheap plastic pen on top of the papers had no markings on it.

The two other desks emitted the same results, and most of the boxes were empty, or were full of packing peanuts and nothing else. Remembering his luck, or lack thereof, with the desks, Robin was careful not to get his hopes up when he found two boxes that were still taped shut, and indeed they had nothing in them but paper and blank business cards. After checking the boxes to make sure there were no addresses on them, Robin turned and started towards the staircase.

Robin walked cautiously up the stairs, using his rising vantage point to get a better look at the bottom floor. Seeing there was nothing more to look at from higher up than there had been on ground lever, Robin continued on to the second floor quickly. This floor was even darker than the previous one had been, and Robin noticed that the already dim light from the skylights had become weaker. A quick sweep around the room showed that the layout here was almost identical to what he'd already seen; the desks and boxes produced the same disappointing results.

Robin put his hands on one of the desks and let his head hang down. So far this warehouse was just as disappointing as all the other places he'd checked out. Robin curled the fingers of his left hand and the little finger and thumb- the only fingers not bandaged- on his right hand, brushing them against the table. Little paths in the dust showed where his fingers had moved.

"I know he's out there," he said aloud, as if trying to convince himself. "But I can't find anything. I couldn't find anything in Jump, I can't find anything in Coal, and I can't find anything here."

_Disappointing, Robin. I expected a little more from you._

Robin's head snapped up, but a look around the room showed no one there, and Robin quickly realized the voice had been in his head. He swallowed and walked back towards the stairs, going up to the third and top floor. Robin kept his pace steady, but his heart had jumped at that voice, and even though he knew Slade wasn't here- couldn't _possibly_ be here- hearing those patronizing words and that pompous tone still made him take a quick look behind him.

Rounding the top of the stairs, Robin stopped walking when he looked up and saw the third floor. Unlike the previous levels, which had been most likely used for storage or labor, the top floor looked like it had been used for the business end of the spectrum. A large rectangular table sat in the center of the room, surrounded by chairs. Off to the left, six or seven tall grey filing cabinets stood against the walls. Robin noted that from where he stood, no light fixtures were visible. He bit his lip and walked towards the table.

The table was long and wide, large enough to be a conference table, and as there were no drawers, that was probably what it had been. The chairs were the sort to be found in a fancy office building, cushioned and of a dark red color, and set atop wheels. The chair at the head of the table, the side farthest from Robin, had armrests.

Robin walked along the side of the table, absently spinning one of the chairs as he passed. The chair emitted a soft squeaking noise, the only sound in the room other than that of Robin's shoes lightly tapping the floor. Although it was strange that a building that had been used as a factory should have furniture as nice as this, the table and chairs held no specific clues, and Robin turned towards the filing cabinets. Before he had taken even five steps he heard a squeak and the sound of scraping and Robin spun around, his hand already reaching for his bo-staff.

His flashlight caught the tail end of a rat as it scampered into a hole in the wall. At the same moment, he realized that had he needed to fight, he would have had to drop the flashlight from his left hand, as his right hand was still highly unusable. Robin let his right hand drop.

_Too slow, Robin. You always were._

Again Robin whipped his head to the side, and again he made to grab his bo-staff. But like before, Robin hurriedly reassured himself that nothing was there. That _no one_ was there. This time it took a little longer for Robin's breathing to return to normal.

The filing cabinets were huge; six of them, and each with five drawers. Robin started at one end, pulling each heavy drawer open, sweeping it over with his flashlight, and closing it again before moving onto the next drawer. It quickly became a redundant process, as each drawer yielded the same results: stale, dusty air, and nothing tangible. Robin was tempted to just move on, but he knew he would kick himself later for doing so. Opening the top four drawers of the fifth cabinet, Robin shoved each of them closed and moved to open the bottom drawer. The sound of something shifting inside it caught his attention, but he was careful not to get his hopes up. It wasn't until he had penetrated the dark void with his flashlight that his eyes caught on a pad of paper. No, not just a pad of paper- a pad of paper with something _written on it._

Robin grabbed the pad, slammed the drawer shut, and focused his flashlight on the paper. A list stared back at him, written in a neat if slightly embellished hand. _4/16/03. 8/23/03. 5/23/04. 9/17/04. 10/14/04. 2/12/05. 11/1/05_… The dates, as Robin assumed they were, meant nothing to him offhand, and after flipping through the pad and seeing the top page was the only one with writing on it, he ripped it off and folded it carefully, placing it in a pocket on his belt. Taking a hasty look through the final filing cabinet and seeing nothing was there, Robin straightened up and took a last look around the room. From over here something caught his eye.

On the wall across from him, from where it hadn't been noticeable from his vantage point earlier, Robin could see a door. Crossing the room, Robin pointed the flashlight at the doorknob and, seeing the thickness of the dust, assumed that this room hadn't been used any more recently than the desk or filing cabinets. Surprisingly, the door was unlocked, and Robin opened it slowly and took a step inside.

The room, just a tiny fraction of the size of the rest of the third floor, had a desk pressed up against the wall with just one chair. The desk was the same as the ones he had seen on the first floor, except for one major difference. On top of this desk was a computer.

The computer wasn't terribly old, but it wasn't by any means new. It was bigger than most computers, both because of the large screen and because it wasn't the flat variety that was popular with most people. It was a grey color, and the monitor, keyboard, and body of the computer all sat together on top of the desk.

Robin walked over and stood behind the chair, looking intently at the computer as if he could have turned it on just by staring at it. When that didn't work, he looked around on the monitor for an on switch. Finding a button beneath the screen, Robin held his breath and pressed.

Nothing happened.

Robin's eyebrows furrowed and he tried again, this time holding the button down for longer.

After a moment, a humming sound brought the computer to life.

Waiting with folded arms as the computer booted up, Robin swung his gaze around the rest of the little room. Like the rest of the building, there were no lighting fixtures here, and Robin wondered if there ever had been. He was getting a headache needing to rely on his flashlight, and he'd only been in the building for an hour. A pop-up box on the screen grabbed his attention.

**INPUT PASSWORD**

The words flashed on the screen, and underneath them a line was waiting to be filled with text. Robin frowned and placed his hand above the keyboard, searching his mind for possibilities. He knew the chances of his getting it right were nil to none, but he hadn't come all this way to go back home without at least giving it a shot. And if need be he could always take the computer back to Jump and use their computer in the Tower to crack the password.

"Coal," Robin spoke as he pressed the keys and hit the enter button.

**INCORRECT**

Aware that most computers gave three tries to give the correct password before locking down, Robin tried harder to think.

"Password." Other than a random grouping of numbers and letters, this was the password Robin came across most frequently.

**INCORRECT**

Frowning, Robin typed in a jumble of arbitrary digits.

_g7n3didfn._

**INCORRECT**

**INITIATING LOCKDOWN**

As he had guessed, the computer was set up to shut off after three failed attempts. He sighed and made a mental note to come back here before he left for Jump so he could bring the computer with him. He was sure he'd have more luck with it at the Tower- after all, using advanced electrical equipment was usually a better bet than making up random passwords.

_This is going to be easier than I thought. You've gotten sloppy while I was away._

This time Robin didn't turn around at all, just stood perfectly still, straining his ears to hear what he couldn't see. His heart was pumping fast again, but he refused to let his mind run away with him. He was sure of it: _No one_ was there. Robin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to convince himself he was the only one in the room, trying to remind himself that-

_Brings back memories, doesn't it?_

Robin's eyes flew open and he choked on his breath. Then, slowly at first, but picking up speed until he was almost running, Robin made his way out of the room, down the stairs to the first floor, and out of the building. Outside it had gotten dark, and was starting to drizzle a little. Robin got on his motorcycle, pulled his helmet on, and headed for his apartment.

TT

Riding through the streets of Coal, Robin tried to get his mind off of the factory he had just come from. The large, open, lightless spaces, the dust coating everything, the overwhelming lack of life… It was too much. It was too much a reminder of Slade. Robin tried to remind himself that that was why he had gone there in the first place, because it was so similar to Slade's old hideouts. But the logical part of Robin's mind pointed out that he hadn't needed to come at night.

Robin made a sharp left and continued on.

He really needed to start listening to that voice more often.

When he reached the apartment building Robin parked his motorcycle outside and pulled off his helmet as he walked inside. The stairwells were empty, and as always, freezing cold because of the lack of heating. Robin shivered as he walked up the stairs, and slammed the door shut behind him when he reached his room. Quickly, he turned on the standing light in the corner of the room, the only light in the place since the light in the bathroom had burned out a week and a half ago. He sat down on his bed, pulling his shoes off and then taking off his cape, gloves, and belt. When those things were lying in a heap on the floor, Robin stood up and went into the bathroom. By the time he was finished showering and brushing his teeth, the drizzle outside had become a heavy rain.

Robin pulled on a pair of black sweatpants and, making sure his mask was still in place, turned out the light and got into bed.

Between the rain outside, the draft from the window, and the absence of heating, the air in the room was frigid, and Robin pulled the covers up over his bare chest and arms. He lay still on his back, staring at the ceiling and listening to the rain outside. A clap of thunder made him bite his lip, and Robin turned to his side, gazing into the darkness at where he knew his communicator was lying on the table. Ever since the dust, he'd hated the rain. Not to mention, the dark.

But that was silly, wasn't it? Robin nodded. It was pointless to be scared of the rain or the dark, because he knew Slade was no more likely to show up now than at any other time, or during any other dark, rainy night, for that matter. Yes, Robin assured himself. It was silly to be scared.

Rolling over and facing the wall, Robin closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep.

TT

_He is standing in a room filled with darkness. He doesn't know where he is or how he got here, but he somehow knows there is no way out. And though he is fully clothed, he feels shockingly cold. And surprisingly, his thoughts are not on escape, but on her. On her and on the cold._

_Then he hears a voice._

_"Hello, Robin."_

_Robin clenches his fists. "Slade."_

_"Well, aren't we the observant one."_

_"What do you want, Slade?" Robin turns around, trying to place the voice, but the absence of light throws off his senses, the chill penetrating his skin distracts him, and the voice seems to be coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. His thoughts of her are slipping away, and he tries fruitlessly to hold onto them as his attention is pulled fully to the voice of his arch nemesis and to the cold that is freezing his spine._

_"I would think that obvious."_

_"What do you mean?" He is so cold._

_And then a shaft of light drops down, illuminating Robin. And he knows why he feels like ice._

_Where his Titans uniform should be, a suit of black and copper sits like a second skin. An "S" lies over his heart. It sends a heart-stopping chill through his body._

_Robin gasps and grabs the breast plate, trying in vain to pull it off. But the suit is melded to his skin, unmovable. The harder he tries to pry it off, the faster it holds to his body. He sinks to his knees as he attempts to remove the vile outfit, and Slade speaks again._

_"Don't you remember, Robin?"_

_"Our deal is off, Slade!" Robin can no longer feel his fingers, he has become so cold. "My friends are safe!"_

_"Your friends?"_

_He can no longer feel his legs._

_"Robin, that deal was over long ago."_

_His torso._

_"Your friends are in no danger."_

_His arms._

_"Then why am I here!" He tries with all his might to remember what her eyes look like._

_"Because, Robin." Slade's presence fills the room. "You chose to be."_

TT

**"No!"**

Robin shot up in bed. His breathing was ragged and sweat had soaked through the sheets, and he looked around wildly, looking for anyone hiding in the darkness. Slade's last words rang through his head like a bell, and Robin pulled his knees to his chest and tried to take deep breaths and calm his heart.

_You chose to be._

Robin swallowed, his mouth dry, and tried to reassure himself.

_It was only a dream. Only a nightmare._

It'd been over a month since his last nightmare. And he'd never woken to find himself alone. His eyes fell on his communicator, lying impassively on the bedside table. He reached out for it, was about to grab it, and dropped his hand.

Robin lay back down and turned towards the wall. He could feel his communicator behind him, watching him, staring at him. But this was a test. And if he passed he'd prove himself strong.

This was a test.

He couldn't call them.

He couldn't fail.


	9. You Might Want to Know

**I'm so sorry this chapter is up so late! Technically it's still Friday, but only for thirty more minutes. I was super busy today and didn't have internet access this morning, so I give you my apologies. Next Friday I'm going to be out of town, but hopefully will still be able to update. And just a heads up, after this chapter there are only three more to go.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "That's How I Knew This Story Would Break My Heart," and I _dare_ you to listen to that song and not feel a deep, dark depression well in the pit of your stomach.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: You Might Want to Know**

* * *

It felt good to punch something. Or, in Starfire's case, to throw starbolts at someone. Crime had been down lately, and when you're life revolves around fighting and detaining criminals, long stretches of time with no one to fight can make you tense. 

Focusing her energy into her fists, Starfire threw a few well-aimed starbolts at Mumbo's back, abruptly cutting off his chant of "Alakazam." The crooked magician had decided that were he had failed three times before, he might succeed today, and had broken into the same bank that he always chose. He'd gotten as far as the bottom of the front steps, bags full of money clutched in his gloved hands, before the Titans had intercepted him. Where Mumbo's magic had been tricky to deal with in the past, the Titans had learned a few tricks of their own. The most important thing, they'd found, was to hit him on all sides and keep him too off-balance to catch any of them with his spells. Currently, Starfire was hitting him from above, Beast Boy's hawk form was attempting to snatch his wand, and Cyborg was sending out small waves of white noise towards the criminal. Starfire threw a series of eyebolts at Mumbo's feet, and as he struggled to regain his footing Beast Boy grabbed the wand.

"Raven, keep him down!" Cyborg shouted. Raven had been off to the side, waiting for the right moment to strike, and at Cyborg's words she let off an "Azarath, Metrion, Xinthos," before using her powers to lift a portion of the sidewalk and fold it on top of Mumbo, effectively pinning him to the ground. Mumbo, trapped under an envelope of concrete, squirmed in an attempt to escape, his head the only visible part of his body. The Titans waited for the police to arrive, and after giving them a brief report of the situation, turned to go. As Cyborg started towards the T-Car and Raven and Starfire began lifting to the skies, Beast Boy pointed down the street in the opposite direction.

"Guys, we're out of chips and soy milk. I'm gonna pick some up at the market before going back to the Tower." Then, as a second thought, he adsked, "Do any of you need anything?"

Raven and Starfire shook their heads, and Cyborg said, "Nah, you'd probably end up buying the soy variety of whatever we wanted anyway. We'll meet you back at the Tower, BB."

"See you in a little while." Beast Boy headed back down the street to the grocery store, and Cyborg walked the half-block to where the T-Car was parked. Leaning out the window, he called to the two remaining Titans.

"You two sure you don't want a ride?"

"No thanks," Raven said, and Starfire shook her head, adding, "Thank you, but I would prefer to fly."

Cyborg nodded and pulled onto the street, just as Starfire and Raven took off in the same direction, only a few dozen feet higher up.

They flew without talking for a little while, before Raven, surprisingly, broke the silence.

"You seem like you're in a better mood these days." She didn't look at Starfire as she spoke, just kept gazing straight ahead.

"I suppose so."

"Have you talked to Robin?"

"No." Starfire paused, wondering how much to tell Raven. To be sure Raven was trustworthy and wasn't one to gossip, but Starfire wasn't sure she wanted to get into it all right now. "I am not sure at this point whether or not it would be constructive to continue communicating with Robin. I have not tried to call him for over a week."

"And that's… okay with you?" Raven, not one to usually bring up this sort of topic, was struggling to find the right words.

"To be honest I do not know what is okay. I wish I could talk to him, but it is too frustrating to try to reach out to him when he will not reach back."

"Well, I guess all you can do it take it one day at a time."

"Then I guess that is what I will do."

Having arrived at the Tower, the two girls landed outside before walking up to the front door. Not long after they entered the common room Cyborg walked in.

"I'm gonna go update the case file on Mumbo," he said, heading towards the elevators. "For such a failed criminal, he sure does have a long file." Cyborg stepped into the waiting elevator and the doors closed behind him.

Raven started walking the same direction Cyborg had. "I'll be in my room," she said, and a moment later Starfire was alone. The Tamaranian looked around, trying to figure out what to do. Finally, she decided to take advantage of the quiet to read, and after retrieving her book from her bedroom, sat down cross legged on the couch in the common room. It was unusual for her to spend time in the common room when no one else was there- it was a big room to be all alone in- but now she felt the need for a change of scenery from her bedroom. Opening her book, Starfire set it down on her crossed legs and tried to get into the story.

But for some reason, Starfire found it difficult to concentrate on anything after returning from a fight, probably a result of the heightened adrenaline, and now she struggled to focus on the book in front of her. She folded her arms, unfolded them, and tried again to get through the next page.

A moment later a door slammed, and Starfire looked up to see Beast Boy, apparently back from the market, walking hurriedly towards her from the other side of the room.

"Uh, Starfire, you're probably gonna want to see this," Beast Boy said hesitantly as he approached her. Raising an eyebrow, Starfire put her book down and took the rolled up magazine he handed to her, unfurling it. Her shoulders sagged when she saw the headline.

"Oh no…"

On the top of the tabloid's cover, above a picture presumably taken last week, big bold letters made their statement loud and clear:

**STARFIRE AND AQUALAD: JUMP CITY'S HOTTEST NEW COUPLE!**

TT

Gripping the magazine loosely, Starfire let her eyes skim over the picture of her and Aqualad. When they'd been walking around town last week she hadn't even noticed anyone with a camera, but she berated herself now for letting her guard down. It was something she'd learned from her years with the Titans: Someone with a camera was _always_ around. And it was bad enough that there were pictures at all, but this photo was taken just as they had been departing… when Aqualad had kissed her on the cheek. The article following did nothing to help the situation.

_It seems that "out of sight, out of mind" is the motto of Teen Titans member Starfire. Just weeks after rumors of her break-up with Titans leader Robin, who has been spotted lately in Coal City, Starfire has a new love interest in solo Steel City crime fighter Aqualad. The two were seen last week on a date in downtown Jump, and even shared a goodbye kiss. Witnesses agree this is no mere fling. Continued on page A4._

But Starfire didn't need to continue to page A4. She'd seen articles like this before, and they all said the same thing: Said pair had secretly been dating for months, were most likely engaged, and the couples' previous partners were sick with jealousy. It was that last part that had Starfire concerned.

"You know, he might not even find out. I mean, just because this paper is sold in Coal doesn't mean he'll see it. He's probably too busy to read tabloids," Beast Boy said, but Starfire shook her head.

"He will find out."

"Well even if he does, he won't believe it. We all know it's not true, and he knows you better than that."

Starfire rubbed her forehead. "I believe I need some time to think. I will be on the roof." Without waiting for a response, Starfire set the paper down on the table and walked slowly towards the stairs.

It was cold out, and it would probably rain later today, but the chill felt good. Starfire sat down at the edge of the roof and rested her chin on her hands, trying to figure out what to do.

The thing was, Beast Boy was right: Under normal circumstances, Starfire couldn't have cared less what the tabloids said about her and Aqualad, or about her and anyone else for that matter. She wouldn't have cared if they proclaimed her and Aqualad to be a couple, even if she was with Robin, because all parties involved knew the tabloids were not to be taken seriously.

But this was not normal circumstances.

How long had it been since she last talked to Robin? Ten days ago? And even before that hadn't she left their relationship on shaky ground?

No, this was not normal circumstances, because had circumstances been normal, Robin would be home, Starfire would not have left him, and Robin's emotional status wouldn't have been so fragile. And that fragility was exactly what she was worried about. Because if Robin was already in one of his obsessive moods, if he was already distancing himself from everyone who cared about him, if Starfire had already cut their connection… Why wouldn't he believe what he read?

As Starfire saw it she had only two hopes. The first was that Robin wouldn't see the headline at all. That, she knew, was unlikely, as Robin hadn't gotten to where he was today without knowing everything that was going on all around him. And the second hope… The second hope was that Robin knew her well enough to know she would never betray him.

Starfire crossed her fingers and waited for the inevitable call.

TT

The call came sooner than she expected it to. Not ten minutes later her communicator began to ring, and she held it in her hand for as long as she dared before answering it.

"Hello?"

"Starfire." It was a statement, not a question, and a cold one at that.

"Hello, Robin." Trying to keep her voice steady, Starfire knew there was still a miniscule chance that he hadn't yet seen the paper.

"Anything you want to tell me?" A chance about as big as that of Robin coming back to Jump.

"You have heard the rumors, then?"

"They're pretty hard to miss."

Starfire sighed. "You have read tabloids before. You know they never tell the truth and are not to be believed."

"They have a picture of him _kissing_ you, Starfire. What am I _supposed_ to believe?"

"You would believe that I am so low as to be seeing someone else?" Her feelings were hurt; as much as she knew Robin would overreact, she had hoped he would trust her enough to know there was another side to the story.

"It's not like you would be cheating on me, Star. You broke things off pretty nicely between us as I recall," he responded sarcastically.

The hurt Starfire felt was passing quickly, morphing into anger akin to Robin's, and her tone became bitter. "And you think I care so little about you that I would have forgotten about you?"

"I really don't know anymore."

"How can you say that!" She was yelling at him now, letting her anger out loudly. "We have known each other for three years! We have been through more in that time than most people go through in their entire lives!" She shook her head. "How can you know me so little?"

"You're saying _I'm_ misjudging _you?_" Robin exclaimed. "_You're_ the one that wanted to put me in some asylum! The only reason I don't trust you is because you don't trust me!" His voice was static-y over the comm. link, and was made even more so by the harsh volume he was using.

"You know that is not true."

"How can I know that? Ever since the dust none of your have trusted me. You think I'm going crazy! You think I don't know what I'm doing!"

"You know, Robin, you are right," Starfire conceded angrily. "I do not think you _do_ know what you are doing."

"What am I supposed to say to that!" He exploded. "What do you want me to say? That you're right, and I have no plan and I'm just running around in circles and crashing into walls and have nothing to show for it?"

"Then show me something! Show me what you have come up with! You will not speak to me of your progress! You will not speak to me of anything!" Starfire briefly noted how strange it was to be yelling at someone she could not see. "You say you do not know what to say to me. Well I do not know what to say to you!"

"So after I won't go along with your plan to go to some asylum in Metropolis you have nothing left to talk to me about?"

"There was no plan, Robin! There was never a plan to send you to 'some asylum in Metropolis.' I only wanted to help you." Shaking her head sadly, she added, "All any of us wish to do is help you." And then, determined not to fall back into the fight they always had, at least not without resolving what the papers were saying about her, Starfire made an attempt to change the subject, however slightly. "And this is not what you are calling about."

"What do you mean this isn't what I'm calling about? How can you tell me what I'm calling about?"

"You called because you wanted to know what happened between me and Aqualad."

Robin was silent, and Starfire waited, anxious to know if her reminding him of this would make him calm down or flare up.

"What_ did_ happen?" His voice was guarded but collected, and Starfire let out a breath.

"Nothing happened."

"You want to expand on that?" Or in other words, Obviously _something _happened.

"After Cyborg returned home from seeing you, he informed us of your status." She half expected Robin to jump in and rebuke anything Cyborg had said, but she continued on, not giving him a chance to do so. "Afterwards I felt very guilty about what happened between us. I was walking around the city and came across Aqualad, and we talked. That was all that happened. We talked for a while, and when he left he kissed me on the cheek." She blushed now, telling Robin this. What had seemed like a friendly and innocent gesture now embarrassed her. "There is not anything between us. There never was."

Without being able to see Robin's face on the comm. screen, Starfire had no idea how he would react. She hoped he would believe her, but she still held onto the hurt she felt when he assumed she had betrayed him. Like she ever _could_ betray him.

"You shouldn't feel guilty." Robin's voice had quieted to the tone he used when he accepted that he'd been proven wrong.

"Then you believe me?"

"Yeah. Of course I do, Star. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have believed what the papers said. It's just been hard." Starfire could sense there was more he wanted to say, but when he didn't volunteer the information she didn't push him. "Please don't feel guilty," he repeated.

"I am afraid that if I do not feel guilty I will not know _what_ to feel."

"You have no reason to feel guilty. None of this is your fault. You just did what you had to do."

Starfire bit her lip. She wasn't sure if it was wise to say this, but she couldn't keep it in. "I miss you, Robin."

"Starfire, I miss you, too." The words rushed out of his mouth, and if he'd been trying to hold them in, it was too late now.

"I want to see you." Her words surprised her, but his answer surprised her even more.

"I want to see you, too."

"Really?" She immediately regretted her choice of words, and tried to contain her surprise. "You will come home, then? Just for a little while?"

"You can come to Coal." Where Robin had been so angry before, now he sounded tired, sad.

"Would it not be better if you came to Jump? You would be able to replenish your supplies and use the Tower's computers for any research you might need and-"

"No." But it wasn't the No she was used to hearing when she suggested he come home. It wasn't the No that said, "I'm too busy to come to Jump." It was the No that said, "I can't face the pressure right now." It was the defeated No, one she never thought she'd hear come from Robin. "You can come to Coal."

"Of course I can come to Coal," she agreed. Even if he wouldn't come back to Jump, her going to Coal wasn't bad, either.

"When will you be able to come out here?"

"There is nothing important happening around here at the moment. Anytime is alright."

"How will you get here? It's a long way- I don't want you to have to fly all the way here." Starfire smiled slightly at his concern.

"I will talk to Cyborg. Perhaps he will let me use his car. I will figure something out." When Robin didn't respond, she added, "I can come tomorrow, if that is alright with you."

"Tomorrow works. Call me when you're leaving the Tower, alright?"

"I will."

"I'm happy you're coming." He spoke softly, but still truthfully. "I..." He trailed off momentarily, as if wondering whether or not to continue. "I love you, Starfire."

She smiled. "I love you, too, Robin."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then. Don't forget to call before you leave."

"I will not forget. Goodbye, Robin."

"Bye, Star."

Starfire set her communicator down on the ground next to her. Then she pinched her arm. No, the sharp sting told her that this was, in fact, not a dream. She was going to see Robin. He'd told her he missed her. He'd told her he loved her. It had all happened so fast- it just didn't seem possible.

But where Starfire had thought she'd feel nothing but happiness as this moment, a sense of melancholy was thick in the air around her. For sure she was happy that Robin didn't believe the tabloids, for sure she was happy he was letting her come to see him, for sure she was happy that the rift between them seemed to be vanishing. And yet…

The Robin she'd spoken to just now was not one she'd ever spoken to before. Defeat had been present in so much that he'd said, fatigue- of the mind, not to mention the body- permeated his words. He hadn't said anything about stopping his search, but she could sense that his spirit, if not his investigation, was dying.

Standing up and making her way downstairs to tell the rest of the team about her trip, Starfire found herself torn between a powerful elation at the prospect of finally seeing Robin again after all this time, and an overwhelming trepidation of what she might find.

TT

Miles away in Coal City, Robin placed his communicator carefully on the bed next to him. He was trying to process what had just happened, but each event seemed more unlikely than the one before.

First of all, how could he have been as dense as to believe that Starfire and Aqualad were together? He'd passed a newsstand while patrolling and upon seeing the devastating headline and picture had flipped out, making a beeline back to his apartment as fast as he could and calling Starfire immediately. Had he given himself even a minute to think it through, Robin knew- or at least hoped- that he would've been able to take a deep breath and dismiss the rumor as just that- a rumor. He could feel guilt rising in his chest as he thought of how fast he'd jumped to conclusions and at how he'd written off Starfire's faithfulness so quickly. She had every right to be angry with him, he knew, especially since his own anxiety was what had led him to believe the rumors. Anxieties brought on by his latest nightmares; anxieties she'd hopefully never learn the cause of.

And second of all, the other incident that couldn't possibly, and yet was, real, was that she was coming to Coal tomorrow. For the hundredth time Robin did the math: It had been six weeks since he'd seen her; 42 days. It felt like so much longer than that, and at the same time, so much shorter.

Standing up, Robin walked over to the window and looked out at the city. Somewhere out there there were clues about Slade. And somewhere out there, much more easily found and apprehended, were burglars, arsonists, muggers.

For the first time in a long while Robin found himself not wanting to venture out into the crime-ridden streets, not wanting to fight, not wanting to get on the R-Cycle, still not repaired from when it had crashed, and not return back to his apartment until dusk.

But all the same, he did.

Because as Robin grabbed his helmet, checked his utility belt, and revved the engine of his motorcycle, he realized this was all he really remembered how to do.


	10. How It Used To Be

**Not much to say today. Except that the ruler button isn't working, so I'm needing to be resourceful and use dashes instead. (Edit: Huzzah! 19 months later the ruler button now works again!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm**

**This chapter is based on the song "I Can't Help You Anymore."**

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**Chapter Ten: How It Used To Be**

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The drive to Coal was long and silent.

Starfire was aware that she could play the radio- the T-Car had all manner of satellite channels and a state-of-the-art sound system- but the soft _whooshing_ of the buildings, cars, and people passing by was more appropriate background noise, and the relative quiet gave Starfire time to think.

Last night Starfire had told the others of her conversation with Robin, and about her plans to visit him the next day. They'd been supportive but cautious; supportive because hopefully this would be a pull for Robin to come home, and cautious because they didn't want Starfire sucked back into Robin's drama. Either way they gave her the go-ahead and wished her luck, and Cyborg had even allowed her to take the T-Car, after a brief run-down of the rules. This morning she'd been up at seven o'clock, on the road by eight. Before leaving she'd given Robin a call, as she'd promised to. Waiting for him to answer his communicator, Starfire had half suspected that he'd tell her something had come up and he wouldn't be able to see her. It was with relief that he'd told her he still looked forward to her visit.

Anxiety had been welling steadily in Starfire's chest ever since she'd left the Tower this morning. The last time she'd seen Robin was the morning he left for Coal.

"_I cannot watch you spend your life this way, searching for something that may not be there..."_

"_Why can't you trust me on this?"_

"_Because I have trusted you on matters involving Slade too many times before. I trust you, Robin, but I do not want to continue fearing for you."_

And then she'd promised to be there when he returned. Three days before that she'd promised never to leave him alone in the dark.

Already, two promises broken.

Starfire stopped at a red light and took the moment to look out the window. She was on the very edge of Coal, and the trees and houses that had been lining the road for the last several dozen miles had given way to dingy multi-story buildings and small, grungy liquor stores. The light turned green and Starfire drove on.

So much had happened since Robin left. Truthfully, Starfire knew all this had been building. Maybe not since they'd all first met, but since soon after. Certainly from the first time they'd fought Slade, and that was how long ago? Three years? And with all that had happened in those short three years- Red X, the enforced apprenticeship, Terra's betrayal, the dust- how could they have expected something like this _not_ too happen? Robin was bound to go into overdrive- even more than usual- and it would have been a lie to say none of them had seen this coming. What they hadn't seen coming, though, was the way it would take over his life so completely, the way it would throw his whole world into a tailspin. And they hadn't expected it to last this long, either.

Starfire drove for another ten minutes, watching the street signs in search of Bradley Street. Finding the street, she turned down it and continued on until the top of a tall apartment building was visible. 

Seeing a space on the street, Starfire parked the T-Car and continued by foot for the next block. The closer she got, the more uneasy she became, and she wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves, to try to stifle the nervousness that was eating her up.

Then she saw him.

He was standing outside, arms crossed and back to the building, trademark look of concentration on his face. For a while he didn't see her, and she took into account his bandaged hand, his sagging shoulders. It was almost unreal, seeing him now after so long, as if she were in a dream or watching him from afar.

Then he looked up, and simultaneously, both their faces broke into smiles.

Robin turned and took the ten feet that divided them in a jog, and pulled her into a hug.

"It's good to see you," Robin said, not letting go of her, and Starfire smiled.

"It is very good to see you, as well."

It was a surprise, though not an unwelcome one, when Robin kissed her. When they pulled back for breath Starfire put her forehead against Robin's and whispered, "I missed you."

Robin pulled her closer. "I've missed you, too."

"Have you completed your mission?" Starfire asked quietly, carefully.

Robin shook his head slightly against her. Then he stood back and took her hand. "Come on," he said. "Let's get out of here."

Starfire squeezed his hand and let Robin lead her to his motorcycle. The side, she noticed, was damaged from the accident Cyborg had told her about. Seeing where her eyes had fallen, Robin said, "It's no big deal. I'll get it fixed up later." Then he handed her a helmet and pulled his onto his head.

"Cyborg told us you had a minor collision. Is your hand still injured?" Starfire asked.

Robin held his right hand up and inspected the bandage as if seeing it for the first time. "It doesn't hurt. I just need to keep the bandage on for a little while longer."

"I am glad it does not hurt."

Robin got onto the bike and Starfire did the same, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Ready?" Robin asked, turning around to look back at her.

Starfire nodded. "Where are we going?"

Robin turned on the engine and pulled the motorcycle onto the street. "You'll see." Starfire held tightly to Robin as they sped away from the building.

"How was the trip here?" Robin called over his shoulder, raising his voice against the wind.

"It was quite pleasant."

"Did Cyborg let you take the T-Car?"

"Yes. Truthfully I was surprised he allowed me to."

Robin laughed. "How is everyone?"

"Everyone is doing well. We were glad to hear Cyborg inform us of his visit."

Stopping at a red light, Robin continued to keep his eyes on the traffic. "What did he say?"

"He told us of your progress in finding leads, but said you did not know when you would be finished."

"Is that all?"

Starfire bit her lip. "He said you seemed lonely."

The light changed and Robin sped them forward. After a few minutes of quiet, or of as close to quiet as possible when riding a motorcycle, Starfire asked again, "Where are we going?"

Robin laughed and took one of his hands from the bike handle, putting it briefly on top of hers before grabbing onto the handle again. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were impatient."

Starfire smiled, relieved he wasn't mad about her previous statement. "I have not seen you for six weeks, and I do not wish to spend this time looking at you from behind."

Robin smiled and took a turn on the left. "We're almost there."

After another five minutes they passed Coal's city limits and entered James City. Robin had been here once before when he'd come a few weeks ago to check out the lawyer named Adam Bright. Although the lead had looked promising, Robin hadn't yet come to any conclusions about Bright, but James City had been the first place that came to mind after he learned of Starfire's imminent visit. James City was nicer and cleaner than Coal City, and an overall more pleasant place to be.

As they passed the sign proclaiming the entering of James City, Starfire asked, "Have you conducted any business here?"

"A little. I came here once a while back." Then he pointed ahead of them. "We're going a few more miles in this direction and then we'll be there."

Another five minutes or so passed, and the tall buildings and expensive cars of James began to fade away, until the streets around them were almost empty. Then, from farther down the road, a large fence-enclosed area was visible, and a wooden sign with the words "James City Amusement Park," the words "Closed for Repairs" written underneath, came into view.

"I was trying to think of a place we could talk without other people around," Robin explained.

"Can we get inside if it is closed for the repairs?"

Robin nodded as he pulled up in front of a gap in the fence, a little disappointed that they were done driving. He liked the feeling of her arms around his waist. "It's been closed for repairs for years now, and it hasn't seen a single renovation. No one comes here, and the lease for it ran out a couple years ago. No one even owns it anymore. Plus," he continued as they both got off the bike and removed their helmets, "The last time we were at an amusement park your sister sort of interrupted things."

Starfire laughed. "That is true. She seems to have a talent for that."

They stepped through the hole in the chain-link fence and stood for a moment, taking in the huge wooden rides and the signs advertising candy and soda. "Should we go right or left?" Robin asked, gesturing to either side.

Starfire thought for a moment, and then said, "Left."

They turned and began walking along the fence. Though the late November air was cool, the sun was bright, creating a strange contrast.

"Tell me about what's been going on in Jump," Robin said once they'd walked a few feet. "Have there been any problems?"

Shaking her head, Starfire assured him there hadn't been. "Very little has taken place. The alarm has barely gone off at all."

"That's good."

"I suppose it is. It is just… I feel odd when our services are not needed. I do not wish there to be crimes taking place," she added quickly, "It is just that I am not used to having so much of the free time."

Robin smiled. "I know the feeling. This is the first day in a long time that I haven't worked," he said, and Starfire couldn't tell if he meant that as a good or bad thing.

"Then you have been working too hard."

Robin ran a hand through his hair. "It's what I'm used to."

Starfire glanced up at him, noting the pallor of his face and distinct darker color at the base of the mask covering his eyes. "You look tired."

"I haven't been sleeping very well lately." He said it quickly, almost too quickly, and Starfire raised an eyebrow.

"Why not?"

"No reason," he said nonchalantly. "I've just been working late and then it's hard to fall asleep."

"If you are going to be working so hard you need to get sleep."

"I know."

They walked in silence then, their shoes kicking up dirt. Starfire had been debating whether or not to wear civilian clothes today, but in the end had decided against it. She'd worried that asking Robin to wear civilian clothes would put him off, and in fact didn't know if he'd brought any. And besides, while she knew Robin had another identity, she didn't know who that person was. The Robin walking beside her, mask and cape and all, was the Robin she knew. And the girl she'd been before she joined the Titans was not the same as the Starfire she was now. These thoughts, while somewhat reassuring, also made Starfire realize how tied to the Titans she and Robin really were.

"It has been a long time since we all have been together." Starfire said quietly. "Everyone misses you."

Robin didn't respond, just kicked at some pebbles in the path.

"You could come home just for a day, just for a little while. You could put your motorcycle in the T-Car and come today." They stopped walking and Starfire looked hopefully at Robin, who wouldn't meet her eyes, his gaze wandering over the park.

"Star, I- I can't."

Starfire smiled disappointedly and nodded. "I should not have asked. I am sorry."

Turning back to her, Robin glanced at the ground before looking back up at her, smiling. "Come on," he said, and before she could say anything Robin had taken her hand and was pulling her farther into the park. He stopped once they reached the play structures in the center of the park, and pointed towards the piece of equipment they stood in front of. "Have you ever been on one of these?"

Starfire studied the big metal disc, held a little ways off the ground by another metal spoke. She shook her head.

"Get onto it and hold on," Robin said, motioning to the bars that came out from the center and extended to the end of the platform. Starfire stepped onto it, the metal echoing with her footsteps, and held on loosely to the bars. "Hold on tight," Robin specified, and she did so. "Okay, ready?" He asked, holding onto one of the bars on the other side of the manual merry-go-round.

"Robin, what are you-" she was cut off when the platform started spinning, Robin running along with it as he pushed and made it go faster. When it seemed like it would go no faster Robin jumped on, the force of his landing making the platform shake.

Starfire laughed as the world spun around and around them, colors merging and whipping past her. Only Robin was distinguishable out of the mess of the revolving world, and she carefully lifted one of her hands from the bar she was holding and placed it where all the bars met. Robin did the same, putting his gloved hand on top of hers.

When they stopped spinning they both collapsed on the metal, slightly dizzy, their legs shaky. Starfire ducked underneath the bars separating them and sat down next to Robin. As they both regained their breath Robin leaned his head back so it was resting on one of the bars, and closed his eyes.

Starfire studied him, aware that this was probably the stillest he'd been since arriving in Coal. With his eyes closed, the sun on his face and his hands folded indifferently in his lap, he looked almost… peaceful. _I wish you could be peaceful, Robin. More than anything._

Opening his eyes and finding Starfire's gaze on him, Robin smiled at her. She smiled back.

In time they managed to stand up, dust off their clothes and continue walking.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Robin asked suddenly, and Starfire was surprised at the oddness of his question. They hardly ever talked about the day they first met- it was a somewhat awkward topic. But now Starfire smiled.

"Of course," she said. "As I recall we were attempting to destroy one another."

A smile spread over Robin's face at the absurdity of that thought. "Things sure have changed, huh?"

Laughing, Starfire conceded, "Yes, they certainly have."

"But after we stopped trying to kill each other- no, actually _when_ we were trying to kill each other- as _I_ recall you kissed me."

Starfire blushed. "I have explained the reasoning behind that many times."

"No, don't misunderstand, it wasn't… it wasn't a bad thing. But I was just wondering…"

Starfire glanced at Robin, but he was looking straight ahead.

"Why did you kiss _me?_" He asked.

"Who else would I have kissed?" Starfire asked, somewhat evading the question.

"There were tons of other people around that you _weren't_ in battle with. Practically all of Jump came to see what was going on."

"I suppose you intrigued me."

When she didn't continue Robin asked, "How so?"

"Your mask, for one thing," she said, glancing up at him. "Your fighting skills, for another. I had never attempted to learn another language in that way before. I did not know what the consequences might be."

"Consequences?"

"I did not know what other traits I might obtain. As it happens I only received your language, but if I was going to acquire your other qualities, I determined I might as well gain new fighting abilities."

Robin laughed. "It was just something I'd been wondering."

"I am surprised you never asked before," Starfire admitted.

Shrugging, Robin said, "I never thought it was the right time to bring it up."

After a moment Starfire asked, "Why now?"

"I don't know," Robin confessed. "It just came into my head."

By now they'd walked along the circumference of the park and were back at the gap in the gate. "Do you want to keep going?" Robin asked, pointing down the street.

"Sure."

Robin took Starfire's hand in his and raised it to his lips, kissing the back of her hand before letting their hands fall back between them, never letting go. The road seemed to stretch out forever before them, the sidewalks empty and the land around the amusement park just as vacant. They had walked not for five minutes before Starfire asked the question that was both burning to be asked and begging to be left dormant.

"Robin, why will you not come home?"

She could feel Robin's hand tense in hers, and held her breath, praying he would not blow up in anger. When he didn't answer Starfire added, "I know I have asked you to return many times, but I am asking you now sincerely. Do you truly believe you can find Slade? Will you really accept no assistance?"

Robin swallowed. "Starfire, it's… I have to find him. I can't stop now after I've been working so hard for so long. I can't let him get away again." He turned to her and even through the mask Starfire could see a flicker in his eyes that reminded her of the terror he'd shown when he'd woken in the nights after the dust, specters of Slade haunting his dreams and mind.

"Do you still believe he is alive?"

Robin bit his lip and looked away. "Of course I do," he said, but his voice was shaky, unsure, and Starfire wished he'd hear this and resign himself to the fact.

"Why?" she whispered. Tears were starting to form in Starfire's eyes but she wouldn't allow them to drop.

"Because…" Robin sighed. "Because evil doesn't die."

"We have fought evil together many times before. We have beaten evil before."

Shaking his head softly, Robin said, "Not like this."

Starfire put her hand on Robin's arm. "Cyborg said he asked you what you were looking for. He said he asked you how you would know if Slade was dead." She paused. "He said you could not answer him."

They had stopped walking by now, and they stood facing each other, their eyes locked.

"Do you have an answer now?" she asked further.

"This is what I need to do." Robin gripped her hand tightly.

"Is it what you want to do?"

"Why else would I be doing it?" he murmured.

Starfire looked back at the street, at the mile or so they had come and the endless road ahead of them.

"Will you just make me one promise, then?" Starfire asked. "Will you promise me you will think about getting help?"

"Star, you know you and the team need to be in Jump."

"No, Robin." She shook her head. "Not that kind of help."

"What, then?"

"The City Protector Recuperation Center in Metropolis."

"Starfire-"

"I am not asking that you give me an answer now. I simply want you to _consider_ it. Can you promise me that?"

"Sure, Star." Robin smiled weakly. "I promise to think about it."

Starfire searched his face for any sign of honesty. But while she trusted him to think about the Center, if only for a single minute, she knew it would be of no use. He was promising, yes, but only to please her. She could ask him to promise to think about a million things, about the Center and Slade's existence and even the possibility of coming home, and he could promise a million times that he would consider them, but in the end she knew the promise was empty. Even if he thought about it all day, part- if not most- of his mind would still be elsewhere.

Putting her hands on either side of Robin's face, Starfire kissed him deeply. His arms went around her waist, and even though the words were not spoken, they both knew that unless impossible changes were made, this chapter of their lives would soon come to a close.

Breaking the kiss, Robin whispered, "I love you, Star."

And Starfire, ignoring the tears on her cheeks, reciprocated his words.

"I love you, too."

TT

They walked back to the motorcycle in silence, holding tightly to each other's hands as if clutching a lifeline. Starfire's tears had dried by the time they put on their helmets, but the tone of their conversation hung heavily in the air around them, further silencing them as they drove back to Coal. Behind them, the amusement park became smaller and smaller.

When they reached Bradley Street Starfire was relieved that Robin didn't stop in front of his apartment, instead asking her where she'd left the T-Car. Cyborg had already described the room Robin was renting, and Starfire didn't want its image further etched into her mind.

Pulling up in front of the T-Car and cutting the R-Cycle's engine, Robin and Starfire took off their helmets and then stayed where they were for a moment longer, Starfire's arms around Robin's torso.

"Do you have to go?" Robin didn't turn to look back as he asked.

"I cannot stay here." She didn't mention that until recently Robin had been opposed to her even visiting.

"I'll… think about that place you told me about. That center."

Starfire nodded. "You should." Then she stood up and got off the bike, placing her helmet on the seat. Robin remained where he was.

"Goodbye," she said as she backed towards the car.

"Bye."

Starfire unlocked the car, opened the door and slid into the seat. She turned on the engine, but before she closed the door she leaned out towards Robin again.

"When we first met, I am glad I chose to kiss you."

And then she closed the door and drove away.


	11. It Couldn't Hurt

**Oh NO school starts on Monday! Sigh... Well, this is almost over, so thankfully school won't have a chance to interfere with updates.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm.**

**I'm going to say what song this is based on at the end of the chapter. I'm worried the title might give too much away.**

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**Chapter Eleven: It Couldn't Hurt**

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_Riiiiiip._

_Riiiiiip._

_Riiiiiip._

A pile of shredded paper was forming at Robin's feet, his hands steadily working their way through piece after piece of blank paper. A pile of loose paper sat at arm's length on the table next to him, and was easily reachable from where he stood in front of the window.

He'd been standing here for almost thirty minutes, ever since waking up and getting dressed this morning. After finishing putting on his belt and cape, he'd stopped for a moment, looking out the window into the sprawling, dirty city of Coal. He couldn't remember exactly how the first piece of paper had made its way into his hands, but the steady sound and motion of ripping had proved calming. He hadn't yet moved from this spot.

His conversation with Starfire yesterday was on constant repeat in his head, and with each repetition he felt himself grow more exhausted and dejected. Everything she'd said, everything she'd implied, everything he'd evaded, he knew to be true. And it was causing him more pain than if it'd all been lies.

After half an hour of standing here, Robin had come to a single conclusion: If there was one thing he wasn't sure of anymore, it was everything.

Robin was beginning to feel like his life was one big tug-of-war; not just between him and his team, but between him and himself. He wanted to go back to Jump, but something was making him stay in Coal. He wanted to see his team, he wanted to see Starfire, but something was telling him they were distracting him from his work. He wanted to find Slade, but… something was telling him that the battle was already lost. And something was telling him that Starfire already knew this, too.

The look in her eyes, the way she'd spoken, the way she'd kissed him, had told Robin everything he needed to know. She no longer believed in him, but it was more than that- she no longer believed that he believed in himself. And the truth was, she wasn't far off. Weeks of high-energy research and carefully planned interrogations had turned up nothing. And even though he'd barely acknowledged it to himself, the leads were drying up. Even the paper he'd found in the factory, the paper with the dates on it, had proved of no use. Inputting the dates into a simple search engine had shown what the dates really were: the days that different banks in the Coal City vicinity had been hit by a now disbanded criminal group. In other words, completely unrelated to Slade, and completely useless.

But for some reason- even though there was little more to be found in Coal, and even though he desperately wanted life to go back to normal- a part of his mind wouldn't allow him to give in. And it was this same part of his mind that wouldn't let him tell Starfire about his doubts.

So he was forced to lie to her, or at least to not tell her the entire truth. She'd told him Cyborg said he seemed lonely, and what Robin hadn't told her was that while he may have been lonely then, he wasn't lonely now. Now he was way past lonely.

She'd remarked about how tired he looked, and Robin had told her he'd been having trouble sleeping for no particular reason. He'd somehow failed to mention his latest nightmares and the voices he'd heard in the factory.

She'd asked him to come back to Jump with her for a visit, and he'd told her he couldn't. He didn't reveal that he had no idea why.

Robin crumpled up the scraps of paper in his hand, crushing them into tiny balls. This whole scenario was unbelievably aggravating- why couldn't he just tell her the truth? Why couldn't he confide in her like he used to? She'd asked him earlier if he still believed Slade was alive, and he'd said yes. But now…

"_Do you still believe he is alive?"_

"_Of course I do."_

...he wasn't so sure.

He could tell that when he'd promised to think about the City Protector Recuperation Center she'd written it off as an empty promise, but how could he blame her? He'd been lying to her so much lately- what reason did she have to believe him now?

Taking a step forwards, Robin put his hands on the window and looked more closely at the view. What had seemed like a city teeming with prospects was now no more than a crime-infested city full of empty possibilities. And while it was true that there was plenty of low-level, and even higher level crime around here that needed to be dealt with, Jump City was _also_ crime ridden. Coal City may have been in desperate need of authority that the police couldn't pull off, but Jump City was, too, and Robin had made a pledge to Jump City. And, more importantly, everything and everyone Robin cared about were in Jump.

_Then why not just go back? _He asked himself. _Why not leave right now? Pack up your stuff and go back to Jump, back to the Tower, back to the Titans?_

_Why not?_

It was the million dollar question, the one he still didn't know the answer to after all this time. It was the tug-of-war, the desire to go back paired with the need to stay. Friends vs. work. Happiness vs. duty. Longing vs. responsibility.

The only way Robin could really put it into words was when he thought of the manual merry-go-round he and Starfire had ridden on the day before. Robin had started pushing the bars, and for a while he was able to determine how fast or slow it went. But then it had picked up its own momentum, one Robin couldn't break, and he'd jumped onto it. And once on it, there was no getting off. Even if he'd wanted to, the merry-go-round would keep spinning, and if he'd jumped off he would've fallen to the ground and scraped his hands and knees. At the beginning he'd had control, but soon enough he was at the ride's mercy.

Robin had decided to start his search for Slade with good intentions and a thorough plan in mind. He would go to Coal, hunt down witnesses and hideouts, travel wherever he needed to, and in the end, finish Slade. He would take as much time as he needed, but hoped his mission would be concise. Starfire had thrown him for a loop when she'd stayed back in Jump, but he'd soon gotten over it, and in the back of his mind knew she'd be there when he got back. So he'd packed up his weapons, gotten on the R-Cycle, and driven to Coal.

That was when the control ended. That was when the momentum set in.

Soon, Robin's entire life began revolving around his duty to find and take down Slade. Starfire and the Titans had been pushed to the side, along with his own well being, and as the days progressed, Robin found himself getting sucked deeper and deeper in. Even now, when he wanted immensely to call Starfire, tell her he'd given up on his mission, and go back to Jump, he couldn't break free of the routine he'd built for himself. Robin was spinning in circles, and he didn't know how to stop.

That was when Starfire's words ran through his head again.

"_Will you just make me one promise, then? Will you promise me you will think about getting help?"_

"_Star, you know you and the team need to be in Jump."_

"_No, Robin. Not that kind of help."_

"_What, then?"_

"_The City Protector Recuperation Center in Metropolis."_

Robin swallowed.

He hadn't thought about it, not seriously, until now. He still had his doubts about the place. Starfire had told him she'd read about it in the Superhero Weekly, and that in itself was a credential, and Starfire herself had called the place. Knowing this Robin was harder pressed to assume the Center was a fraud, but the idea of telling someone he'd never met before- be them specially trained doctors or not- everything about the inner workings of his mind and the lives of the Titans still made him nervous.

But the fact was, Robin trusted Starfire too much to think she would send him down a potentially dangerous or compromising path. And he knew that she would not have suggested it to him unless she felt strongly that it would be the right thing to do.

Wanting to at least be able to truthfully tell Starfire he'd though long and hard about it, Robin closed his eyes and attempted to make a mental list of the pros and cons of going to the Center.

_Pro,_ He thought, _It would mean finishing with Slade._

_Con: If Slade really _is_ out there I wouldn't be ready for him._

_Pro: It would get me out of Coal._

_Con: It would take me all the way to Metropolis._

_Pro: It would make Starfire happy._

_Con: It just might drive me crazy._

Robin groaned and put his forehead against the window. This wasn't getting him anywhere, and it was just delaying whatever the outcome turned out to be. Eyes still closed, his memory fell upon a conversation that had taken place three years ago.

"_Your eyes… They are most strange. Can you not see?"_

"_No, it's a mask. It covers my eyes. I can see alright, and the mask doesn't get in the way."_

"_Why is it necessary to cloak your eyes?"_

"_A superhero is someone that fights crime, but not like the police. It's someone that fights the villains no one else will fight. They wear masks to hide their identities."_

"_Why would you wish no one to know you fight villains? Is it not something to be proud of?"_

"_It… Well, I guess it is. But if a bad guy knows who you are they can hurt your family and friends. You need to protect the people you care about, not just the city."_

Had it really been just three years ago he and Starfire had exchanged these words? It seemed like so much longer. So much had happened; more than any of them had counted on happening to five teenage heroes. So much had changed, both for the better and the worse.

But what hadn't changed was the responsibility they had all signed on for.

"_A superhero is someone that fights crime, but not like the police. It's someone that fights the villains no one else will fight." _

That was not, however, a superhero's only job. Because while being a hero meant stopping criminals and protecting civilians, the good citizens of Jump or Coal or wherever else weren't the _only_ ones you needed to think about. There were other responsibilities that were expected not only of superheroes, but of every good person.

"_You need to protect the people you care about, not just the city."_

And it was this that Robin had not done. His hero responsibilities had overtaken his moral responsibilities to his team, to Starfire, and to himself. And all this time later, Robin wanted to fix that. And at this point, he knew of only one way how.

Without giving himself time to change his mind, Robin picked up his communicator and, after messing around with the settings, pressed the button that would connect him to Starfire.

TT

Robin waited for Starfire to answer her communicator. Later he would talk to the rest of the team, let them know what the plan was, but for now he only wanted to speak to her.

After the second ring she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Star."

"Robin, I am glad to hear from…" She trailed off, her full attention on the screen. "You have restored your communicator's ability to project images!"

Robin's smile was as broad as hers was. "I reinstated the visual component a few minutes ago. It's good to see you, too."

"But will this not deplete the amount of information your communicator can hold?"

"Yeah, it will. But I don't think it'll really matter."

"Why is that?"

"I've been thinking a lot since we saw each other yesterday."

"As have I."

"And I realized that a lot of what you said- well, everything you said- was true."

Starfire opened her mouth to speak, but Robin cut her off.

"I don't want to keep doing this," Robin continued, speaking quickly so that he wouldn't hold back. "I don't want to keep going nowhere. I don't want to keep hurting you. I don't want to keep chasing someone who might not be there." Robin sighed. "But I feel like the moment I stop chasing him, he'll start chasing me." Robin shook his head. "But I don't want to chase him anymore, either."

"What do you propose to do?" Starfire asked, almost in a whisper, as if afraid to scare him away.

"I didn't know at first." He pushed some hair off his forehead. "But then I thought about you. You've always helped me in the past and I know that you've been trying to help me all this time, since way back before I even got to Coal. You told me about that place in Metropolis, Starfire." Robin paused, biting his lip. "It couldn't hurt to give it a shot."

Eyes widening, Starfire asked, "Do you truly mean that?"

"You've promised me so many things, Starfire. You promised to never leave me alone, and you promised you'd be there when I came back to Jump. I'm going to promise you something." Taking a deep breath, Robin spoke. "Today is December first. I promise you that by a year from today this will all be over."

Starfire's face shone with the happiest smile Robin had ever seen, and he couldn't help but mirror it. For a moment she put her hand over her face, trying to compose herself, but when she pulled her hand away she was still glowing. "Robin, this is wonderful!" She laughed. "I am so happy."

Robin couldn't take his eyes off her eyes and her smile. "I'm glad."

Struggling to calm down, Starfire took a deep breath. "When will you leave Coal?"

"I haven't called the people at the Center yet. I don't even know if they'll take me. But I'll leave Coal as soon as possible." Suddenly the constantly overcast sky and grimy sidewalks of Coal seemed unbearably grotesque.

"They will take you."

Robin smiled grimly. "You think I'm that messed up?"

"I believe the term is 'your words, not mine.'"

He laughed. "Okay. But really, I haven't contacted them yet." Robin hadn't even thought about what he'd do if he couldn't get into the Center. Now an edge of panic crept into his voice. "How do you know they'll take me?"

"You remember I told you that I spoke to a member of their staff?"

"Yeah."

Starfire paused, as if hesitant to tell him something. "I told them about you."

Robin raised his eyebrows. "You told them about me?" He wasn't angry, just surprised.

"I did not tell them who you were, merely what about your actions was concerning me."

"What did you tell them?"

"I told them that you have been fixated on the termination of a certain villain for three years. I told them that you declined offers of assistance. I also told them you would be quite unwilling to reveal your identity."

"I guess that sums it up pretty well," Robin said quietly, looking away from the screen.

"The woman I spoke to assured me that they could help you."

Robin nodded. Then he met Starfire's eyes again. "Thank you."

Starfire tilted her head to the side. "For what?"

"For watching out for me."

Starfire smiled. "Thank you for finally allowing me to."

Sighing and sweeping his gaze quickly around his apartment room, Robin said, "I can't wait to get out of here."

"Are you planning to come home first?"

Robin lowered his eyes. "I'm not sure." He paused, and then continued. "I'm afraid that if I go back to the Tower and see everyone I'll never want to leave."

Starfire nodded, seeming to consider this possibility. "I believe that is not an unnecessary concern."

"I'd really like to see the others. I mean, the last time I saw Cyborg was over a week ago, and I can't even remember the last time I talked to Raven and Beast Boy." He opened his mouth and then closed it again, trying to decide if he wanted to ask his next question. "Do you think they'd even want to see me?"

Starfire smiled lightly. "Of course they would. They are your friends, Robin. We are all your friends."

"Would you just tell them that I miss them and that…" Robin trailed off, unable to come up with the right words.

"I will tell them that you wish to put this part of your life in the past as fast as possible, and after that we will all be together again."

"Thanks, Star."

"I welcome you."

"I really do miss all of you."

"Our friends will be delighted to hear you will be receiving help."

Suddenly Robin felt immensely homesick. When he'd decided to give himself a year to fix his problems it'd seemed like he would never be able to accomplish everything he needed to in such a short time. Now a year seemed like an agonizingly long time away.

Robin turned his head away from the comm., gazing out the window. Yesterday it had been cold but brutally sunny. Today the sky was covered by a thick coat of fog. "What's the weather like in Jump right now?"

Starfire turned away from the screen for a moment, presumably towards the window. "This morning it looked as if it would rain. But the sun is coming out a little bit now." She turned back to the screen. "I believe it will be a warm day."

"It sounds nice."

Nodding, Starfire replied, "It will be."

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**This chapter was based on the song "I Was Thinking I Could Clean Up For Christmas."**


	12. Elsewhere

**Well. After five months of self-imposed deadlines, writer's block, rewrites, and a whole lot of fun, Elsewhere is **_**done.**_** Who would have thought?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TT or The Forgotten Arm.**

**This chapter is based on the song "Beautiful." And this is your last chance to listen to the song while reading the chapter, and I implore you to do so!**

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**Chapter Twelve: Elsewhere**

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A lot can happen in a year. For Robin, more had happened in the past year than he'd ever thought possible.

Two days after telling Starfire he was done with Slade and Coal he'd packed his things and left for the City Protector Recuperation Center in Metropolis. Having just opened a few weeks earlier there were plenty of available rooms, doctors, and psychologists, and when Robin had called they'd told him he could come down as soon as possible. Robin had been hesitant to give them details over the phone about who he was and why he was calling, but they'd assured him that all of that could be talked about when they met in person. And so Robin had gotten on his motorcycle and driven out of Coal, hoping he'd never have reason to come back.

The drive to Metropolis had been the hardest part. Speeding down the highway, Robin had been tempted more than a few times to pull over and turn around. Thoughts about Starfire and worries about Slade alternated through his mind, in turn making him want to head to Jump or go find some other city that might have fresh leads. What he most certainly _didn't_ want to do was go to the CPRC in Metropolis. He'd break out in a cold sweat and start panicking when he thought of the Center, when he thought of giving up on Slade and being separated from Star.

But then he'd take a deep breath and just keep going. Because he'd already messed up his life enough; if he turned back now, he knew nothing would ever be set right.

In all honesty Robin hadn't known what to expect when he parked the R-Cycle and entered the automatic glass doors of the CPRC. The building was large, at least ten stories, and was unmarked; only those who needed the services the Center offered knew of its location. The lobby looked ordinary enough. A receptionist sat behind a desk, typing at a computer, and off to the side chairs had been placed around low tables. Windows let in the dim early winter sunlight.

But still Robin was on guard, and found himself hesitating before approaching the receptionist. Looking around the room, it felt extremely strange to be wearing his uniform here. Even though he knew this place had been built specifically for those that wore clothes similar to his, he made a mental note that he wear civilian clothes the next time he was here.

When he finally got up the courage to approach the woman sitting behind the desk, she had smiled and asked if he had an appointment. When Robin nodded, she'd asked his name- simply as a courtesy, he assumed, since his apparel must have told her who he was- and then typed something into her computer before looking back up at him and pointing off to the side.

"Go out this door and down the hallway to the second door on your left. Dr. Clay will see you."

So Robin had thanked her and turned towards the door.

Entering Dr. Clay's office, Robin was again struck by how normal everything looked. If he hadn't known better he would have assumed this was just a regular doctor's office, where people could come to get treated for a cold or a broken arm. Later Robin would realize that while the entire establishment was designed to look approachable, the first floor especially had been intended to look like any other doctor's office or hospital, lest an unknowing civilian find their way inside.

"Robin, I presume?" Dr. Clay had been sitting at a desk, but stood up when Robin entered the room, offering his hand. Robin shook his hand and nodded. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"I would prefer to stand." Robin cringed as soon as he said it, the response a reflex he had picked up when dealing with patronizing officials and criminals. But Clay just smiled and nodded.

"That's fine." Clay sat down on the edge of his desk. "So, do you want to tell me why you came here?"

For a moment Robin stood there, unable to speak, let alone answer the question. Why he had come there? Was there even an _answer_ to that question? To explain why he'd come would take explaining everything that had taken place since the Titans formed. It would take three years of history, of villains and relationships and responsibilities. It would take a long time.

"I think I'll sit down," Robin said.

TT

Everyone always says that admitting you have a problem is the hardest part. And yes, admitting that he'd let his obsession with finishing Slade take over his life was hard. Very hard. But once you admit to the problem you have to fix it. And that was hard. Very, very hard.

After Robin had given Dr. Clay the concise version of, well, everything, Clay had given him a preliminary opinion on how things would work. One aspect that Clay was sure about was that Robin needed to take a break from crime-fighting. That, while tough to hear, wasn't at all unexpected. What was unexpected, however, was that Clay thought it would be best if Robin become an in-patient- in other words, stayed at the Center for a good long time. Robin had tensed at this suggestion, but hadn't voiced his apprehension. He knew that he needed to take time off from fighting, and knew that if he was out around town he wouldn't be able to hang up his costume for even a day. It was just one more necessary step, one more necessary sacrifice.

Robin listened to the rest of Clay's diagnosis, and when Clay asked if he had any questions Robin had asked the question that had been on his mind since his arrival at the Center.

"How long do you think this will take?" Robin held his breath as he waited for an answer.

Clay folded his arms. "It depends. Up to eighteen months." Then he looked Robin in the eye. "How long do you want it to take?"

"One year." Robin had never sounded so determined in his life.

Nodding, Clay responded, "If that's your goal, we can make that happen." Then he scribbled down some notes on a piece of paper and handed it to Robin. "Take this to the receptionist. She'll help you make the necessary arrangements."

Taking the paper from Clay, Robin thanked him and was about to open the door when he stopped. Turning back to Clay, he repeated, "One year. I want to be done in one year."

Clay laughed. "You know, I think the attitude that got you in here is going to be the same one to get you out."

TT

Starfire slowed the T-Car down as the light changed from yellow to red. Waiting for the light to change back to green, she let her hands loosen on the steering wheel, and let her eyes wander to the landscape outside.

She hadn't known that on the outskirts of the bustling city of Metropolis the skyscrapers and hurried businessmen were replaced with long stretches of empty road and land. For a moment it reminded her of the deserted amusement park and surrounding area where she and Robin had talked a while back. In the hours following her departure from Coal that day the bittersweet tone of their conversation had been piercingly painful. But that day was now synonymous with Robin's decision to put the past in the past, and because of that the good memories from that day outweighed the bad. And enough time had passed to dull the feeling of defeat that had emanated so readily from Robin.

In fact, a year had passed.

And now those unhappy mind-sets were purely in the past.

The light turned green and Starfire hit the gas pedal, eager to get to her destination.

The last time she had seen Robin in person was a month ago, in the beginning of November. They'd talked daily, but because Robin had his communicator permanently turned off- the doctor's suggestion, as a precaution against him getting pulled back into the Titans- they'd needed to use the phone- secure lines, of course- to talk, and so hadn't been able to see each other while doing so. So both because their communications were strictly auditory and not visual, and because even if they had had use of their communicators seeing each other in person was better, Starfire had traveled to the CPRC almost every two weeks to see Robin. But although he missed them desperately, and even talked to them on the phone pretty regularly, Robin wouldn't let the other Titans visit him at the Center. Robin had admitted to being addicted to crime-fighting, but it didn't mean he was any less ashamed of where his problems had landed him, and he was adamant that his friends not see him here.

During Starfire's last visit she and Robin had sat on the benches outside the Center and gone through the usual routine of what they discussed. Starfire would tell Robin about anything and everything that was happening in the Tower and in Jump- crime had been up slightly lately, but it was nothing to get concerned about- and then Robin would fill Starfire in on what he'd been doing in the Center.

His weekly schedule didn't usually vary, but his day-to-day activities were different, one to the next. He'd been nervous to talk to a psychologist about his life as a Titan, not the least because certain actions he'd taken, such as becoming Red X and working for Slade, were things he was not only extremely un-proud of, but were blatantly illegal. But the confidentiality agreement he'd read before signing the necessary papers had stood firm; instead of getting in trouble about his disquieting past, he'd actually gotten the chance to explain why these events had occurred and to express his immense regret about them. And best of all, no one had judged him.

So three times a week Robin "talked his problems out," twice a week he met with a doctor, and once a week he met with someone to discuss his future as a hero and as a normal person. That left one day open to do whatever he wanted. Granted, there was a limited amount of available activities at the CPRC, but in the first few days after his arrival he'd met some of the other patients, and spent most of his free time chatting with them.

The last time Robin had finished telling Starfire about all this, he'd remarked on how he had one month left to fulfill his promise to her. And Starfire, not because she didn't believe he could do it, but because she knew he was working hard and didn't want to pressure him, had told him that she didn't care how much longer it took him, as long as he was confident that he'd ended that disastrous part of his life when he left.

And Robin, in true Robin fashion, had insisted that he _would_ be out of the Center by December first. Worrying that this attitude was too similar to the one that had begun the whole mess, Starfire had started to assure him that he could take more time if he needed it, but was promptly cut off when he'd kissed her.

And three weeks after that visit, on November twenty-fourth, Robin had called to tell her that in exactly seven days he was due to be released.

So today, on December first, Starfire eased the T-Car into the parking lot of the CPRC to see Robin waiting for her, his bags on the ground by his feet, his motorcycle, which he'd repaired a few months ago, leaning on its kickstand next to him. Starfire smiled brightly and got out of the car.

"What a coincidence to see you here," Robin said, fake surprise in his voice.

"I was just passing through," Starfire responded with a shrug.

"Any room in that car for one more?"

"You know, I do not believe there is."

Robin pretended to pout for all of two seconds before taking the distance between them in long strides and pulling her into a close hug.

Laughing, Starfire said, "I feel like I have not seen you in ages." Then, putting her head against his shoulder, she added, "I have never been so happy to see someone in my life."

Robin nodded. "You're not the only one."

She lifted her head and looked at him now. "You are really… This is truly done?" She didn't need to say that she meant both Slade and the Center.

Robin nodded seriously for a moment, but then lost his composure and let a grin spread across his face. "Yes," he said, and then he kissed her. "No more. I am done."

Bringing her hand up to his face, Starfire pushed some jet black hair out of his eyes. He wore his mask, just like he had every day for the past year, though his uniform was still packed away. Instead he wore jeans, a red t-shirt, and tennis shoes. Starfire, too, wore civilian clothes- a grey v-neck shirt, a denim skirt, and, although she still found them uncomfortable, tennis shoes. Robin's hair was freshly gelled in its trademark spikes, a habit he hadn't dropped.

Eventually they were able to tear their eyes off each other, and Starfire helped Robin load his suitcases into the backseat of the T-Car before carefully placing the R-Cycle in the oversized trunk. After everything was securely inside, and after arguing over who would drive, they got into the car, Starfire winning out and getting into the driver's seat and Robin sitting down in the passenger's seat next to her.

"I can't believe it's been a year." They had barely pulled out of the parking lot, and Robin was looking intently out the window. "It doesn't feel like it's been a year."

Starfire stole a quick glance at him from out of the corner of her eye. "What does it feel like?"

"More than a year. Less than a year. I don't know. Both." He turned to her and smiled. "It just feels weird." He let his head fall back on the headrest and closed his eyes. "But it feels good."

"I am glad of that." Taking her first good look at his outfit, Starfire smiled lightly and shook her head. "I never thought I would see you wearing something other than your uniform."

"Me neither." Opening his eyes and sitting up, Robin said, "I haven't worn my uniform since I got to the Center." He looked down at his shirt. "But I had trouble deciding whether or not to wear it today."

"Why did you decide not to?"

"I guess I just wanted to ease back into things. Besides," he smiled, "I can't wait to see the looks on everyone's faces when they see me out of costume."

Starfire laughed. "Well, you know I have been wearing normal clothing whenever I came to see you."

"Yeah, but I don't think anyone ever expected to see _me_ in civilian clothes."

"It will be a welcome surprise."

Over the past months and especially during October and November Robin and Starfire had started talking about what they would do after Robin left the Center. They'd decided first of all that Starfire would meet him at the Center instead of Robin driving to meet her somewhere on the R-Cycle. That had been the easy part. The more difficult part, although not as difficult as they had expected, was figuring out where to go from there. And what they had come up with was this:

The day that Robin checked out of the Center Starfire would pick him up from the Center and the two of them would drive back to Jump City, back to Titans Tower. By this time Robin was looking forward to going home, and more than that, was eager to see his friends again. He'd begun to miss them after he started telling the doctors about his life at the Tower, about Cyborg's brotherly attitude, about Beast Boy's health morals, about Raven's dry humor. And of course about Starfire, always about Starfire, but since he talked to her more often than the others and saw her pretty regularly, his longing to see his friends was now almost equal to his desire to be with her.

From there Robin wasn't sure what he would do. He wanted to fight with the Titans again, and knew for certain than one day he would, but it was not the same need he'd felt to fight before. Whereas before he'd fought with an unstoppable drive to wipe out the entire criminal population of Jump, and the urge to stop Slade never leaving his mind, now he missed the companionship he felt when going into battle with his friends and teammates. He missed the feeling of being a part of something. He missed the feeling of belonging.

So eventually Robin would again become the Titans leader in more than just name, but how long that would take- and what he would do in the meantime- was anyone's best guess. But there was time to figure that out later. For now Robin was content just sitting next to Starfire, watching the empty roads gradually turn into skyscrapers and speeding taxis, and knowing that in a few hours he would again be at home and be with his friends.

TT

The drive from Metropolis to Jump City took five hours, but neither Robin nor Starfire noticed. During those hours they felt the previous year melt away, until it seemed almost impossible that anything out of the ordinary had ever taken place. They're conversation drifted from topic to topic, flowing easily and never lingering on anything uncomfortable, including the recent past.

They were forty minutes away from Jump before Starfire breached the question that she knew she had to ask, if only to get it out of the way.

"Robin, there is something I want to ask you," she began hesitantly.

"What is it?" Robin turned his head slightly to look at her.

Starfire bit her lip. "I am afraid it is a rather redundant query, as you have already assured me that all of this," she waved her hand vaguely back in the direction of Coal and Metropolis, "is over. But I feel as if I must ask you more specifically." Robin still looked at her intently, but Starfire wouldn't take her eyes from the road. "Am I correct in assuming you no longer believe Slade to be alive?"

Starfire's heart pounded in her chest as Robin turned his gaze back to the road ahead of them, sitting for a moment in silence. When he spoke his voice was firm. "I'm not going to keep chasing him."

When he didn't continue Starfire said quietly, "You did not exactly answer my question."

"I don't believe he's alive." Starfire had let out a relieved breath when Robin continued. "But I don't know what exactly I _do_ believe."

Starfire raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps if you were to explain…"

"It's like this, Star." Robin turned towards her again, and Starfire glanced at his expression, relived to see it wasn't one of anger. "I'm not going to spend all of my time chasing after him. He died. I know that. But there's still so much I _don't_ know. I still don't know who he is. I still don't know where he came from. Those are things I still want to find out." Robin shrugged. "Those are things I_ will_ still try to find out. I'm going to put Slade on the back burner for a while. For a long while," he added with a smile, "but I'm not going to forget about him completely. And that way…" Robin sat back, a slight look of determination on his face. "That way if that bastard ever does come back I won't be out of practice." A moment later Robin asked, "Does that answer your question?"

Starfire nodded. "Yes." She smiled. "And it does so very well."

TT

Twenty minutes later the T-Car was winding through Jump City, and Robin couldn't tear his eyes away from the window. He'd lived in Coal for six weeks and in Metropolis for twelve months, but no where could ever be like Jump. Jump was his home.

They passed street signs and shops he hadn't seen in over a year, and Robin wondered how he could have ever left this place behind. As they drove past the park, the pizza place, the mall, Robin made a mental list of everywhere he wanted to go. But before that, Robin wanted to go to the one place he'd missed more than anywhere else while away.

As they curved a bend, Titans Tower came into view, and Robin smiled, hundreds of days of being away finally catching up with him. The Tower loomed tall and majestic on its island, the windowed walls reflecting the early December sunlight, and the waves of the bay crashing against the rocks below. There was no other word for it; it was beautiful.

They drove to the tunnel that would take them underground and let them back up on the island, and once parked the two of them took the R-Cycle out of the trunk and rolled it to its spot next to the wall, untouched after all this time. Leaving his bags in the car to be unpacked later, Robin followed Starfire to the front door of the Tower, the door through which he'd left all those months ago. Before she opened the door Starfire turned to Robin, a soft smile on her lips.

"Welcome home."

TT

Robin folded another shirt and placed it on top of the pile in his dresser drawer. The idea had been to leave unpacking until tomorrow, but after getting home and seeing his friends again Robin had been too wound up to sleep, and began to empty his suitcases tonight.

The Titans had been in the common room when Robin and Starfire entered, and the picture before them was exactly how Robin had remembered it. Next to the window Raven hovered in lotus position, eyes closed in meditation. On the couches in front of the TV Cyborg and Beast Boy clutched game controllers, trying to outscore each other in a video game.

"I guess I'm the only that dropped old habits," Robin said with a smile.

At the sound of his voice, the other three stopped what they were doing and looked up at him. For a second there was absolute silence as the four regarded each other. But that would be the last piece of quiet to be had that day.

After the initial "Welcome back's" and "We missed you's" they all sat down again, and eventually the excitement calmed down enough that everyone wasn't talking over each other anymore. Cyborg, Raven, and Beast Boy made Robin give them the details about his time away, questioning him the most about his time in Coal, as at that point their communications with him had been practically nonexistent. Robin had been uncomfortable to talk about Coal at first, but soon the comfort he felt from being at home with his friends took over and he was able to tell them the whole story- or most of it, anyway- from start to finish. When he told them about the factory he'd visited, he conveniently forgot to tell them about his nightmares later that night.

After Robin had given them his accounts of Coal and the Center they told him everything that had happened in Jump and around the Tower since he left, about the low crime rate in the first couple months, about the string of muggings that had popped up and eventually been stopped, about the government functions that had asked for security assistance. They also told him about the press conference they'd held the week after he entered the Center, in which they'd told the public that Robin was taking time away from the Titans for personal reasons and to assure the city that he would be back in no time at all. This reminded Robin that they'd need to hold a press conference in the next few days to announce his return, but Cyborg assured him a time slot had already been set up for four days later.

The five of them had talked for hours, until Beast Boy had complained that he was hungry and Cyborg had offered to order a pizza. When the pizzas were delivered thirty minutes later it was the best thing Robin had ever tasted.

Now, at eleven o'clock, the sun had long since set and Robin was putting the last of his clothes and belongings away. While hanging up his costume he'd decided that tomorrow he'd wear it, and the idea had filled him with excitement and trepidation. It'd been a year since he'd last worn his uniform.

A light knock sounded from the door and Robin stood up, stretched his arms over his head and walked over to the door, opening it to find Starfire on the other side. Robin smiled when he saw her.

"And what might you be doing here?" he asked.

Starfire smiled. "I wanted to do this," she kissed him quickly, "and I wanted to find out how you were doing."

"I'm doing fine." He turned back to look at his bedroom, which strangely enough he hadn't missed as much as other parts of the Tower. Looking back at her, he said, "It's good to be back. It's really good to be back."

"I am glad." Starfire pursed her lips, as if trying to decide how to phrase her words. "I was worried that you would have difficulty sleeping tonight. Do you still suffer from the nightmares?"

Robin shook his head slightly. "No."

A weight that he hadn't noticed before seemed to lift from Starfire's shoulders. "That is quite good to hear."

"Tell me about it. No, I don't have nightmares anymore. Actually, I don't dream at all anymore. Or at least not that I can remember."

Starfire's eyes widened slightly. "Do you not miss having the dreams?"

Shrugging, Robin responded, "I don't really notice it." Then he added, "I'm happy just being back here with you. I don't need to dream to be happy."

A smile shone on Starfire's face at his words. "Good night, Robin. I will see you in the morning."

Robin caught her before she left and returned the kiss she'd given him earlier. "I love you, Star."

Starfire smiled against him. "I love you, too."

"Good night, Starfire."

"Good night, Robin." Starfire turned down the hallway. "I wish you the sweet dreams." Then she turned the corner and was gone.

Closing his door again, Robin changed into a pair of sweat pants, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and combed the gel out of his hair. Then he turned off the light and got into bed.

In the time before he fell asleep, Robin let his eyes drift over his bedroom, over the suitcase in the corner, over his cluttered desk, over the bare walls where he'd asked Starfire to remove the newspaper clippings about Slade. His eyes fell on his closet, and Robin felt a spike of adrenaline at the notion of putting his uniform on tomorrow. Then his gaze wandered towards his dresser, on top of which his utility belt, bo-staff, and communicator lay dormant. Robin sighed and rolled onto his other side.

In the rooms farther down the hall he knew Cyborg would be recharging, Beast Boy would be sleeping haphazardly on his bunk bed, and Raven would breathing softly in the grip of sleep.

And in one of those rooms he knew Starfire was sleeping. Or maybe she was still awake, lying in bed and thinking idly just like he was. Robin liked that thought, and closed his eyes with that image in his mind.

That night Robin slept soundly.

And that night Robin dreamt, his problems in the past, his mind blissfully elsewhere.

* * *

**Oh. Man. I can't believe it's done! Actually, I can't believe I wrote this entire thing from start to finish. I can remember way back when I sat down to write the first chapter, and I honestly never thought it would get this far. This fic has been one of most intense and rewarding projects I've ever undertaken. Before I let you guys go, there are a few things left I still have to say:**

**1) I really can't say it enough- **_**thank you**_** to everyone who reviewed. You've all made me smile more times than I can count, and I really appreciate you taking the time to give me feedback.**

**2) A lot of you said in your reviews that you thought Slade should kidnap Starfire, and I feel like I should give an explanation as to why that didn't happen. In short, Slade couldn't kidnap Star because he wasn't around to do so. You've all seen Aftershock II and Haunted- Slade was somewhere in the fiery beyond. The reason I couldn't bring him back was because the point was that Robin was obsessed with someone who wasn't there. If Slade had made an appearance it would have made the entire story obsolete.**

**3) While writing there were several instances when I had to cut huge chunks from the story for various reasons. I saved all of these passages, and if you'd like to see these "outtakes" let me know and I can e-mail them to you.**

**4) And finally, none of this would have been possible without the inspiration I've had from Aimee Mann. If any of you have listened to any songs from The Forgotten Arm I'd love to know your thoughts on how I did superimposing the album on this fic. Just a reminder that there's a link at the bottom of my profile that goes to a website with lyrics for all of TFA.**

**It's been a blast, guys. See you around!**


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